When you deeply desire a hard-working loneliness – but

We all of us have been there, even you, bloggers, right? :

You are busy at work, or you’re at a party, or you’re on a date.

You would LOVE to be totally wise & oriental and “fully live the moment”. But you are not.

You have things to do, but you deeply desire a hard-working loneliness, well you will at least have all the time necessary to : write your article, explore your ideas, paint, or begin your first novel.

Yeah, you see me coming : When you have the chance to be in this moment, alone, quiet, with a few hours free, you… do nothing. You procrastinate. You wander, take a nap, have a lazy poolsplash, you don’t even try to begin (or if you do, your hand stays in the air holding its pencil while daydreaming about elephants or printers. Strange statue!).

And therefore you are a bit angry against yourself because you spoil your time, and you feel this ugly emptiness I would call self-wtf.

Dial/Lever : What does that mean? Are we strong inside but lazy in action? What could we do to fix that? Discipline? Daily same-hour schedules, like Stephen King and other writers? What if we decided to stop everything “at once” when we wish to have time. Abandon job? Date goodbyeing? Party flight? Just to write at once? Why not. What are YOUR solutions?

Thanks for reading!

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Instagram : itspeteski

 

Demotivating Motivational Quotes

Motivation quotes are so great, fresh, energetic and so simple that you wonder “why you didn’t do it before”…

“Who you surround yourself with is who you will become”. Awwweee! That makes sense, using people like chess pawns, and considering the others like dusty useless boring people – who slow your path towards your “goals”. Problem is of course you have to know… before you surround. You need magic, then. Surround with a wizard first. I wonder what I should think of lonely people, too.

You need discipline, because “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment”. This is beautiful and I’m almost crying. Problem is you don’t have this discipline (are you able to not eat this chocolate slab?), life is complex, your goals are moving, your uncertainty quotient has ups and downs, and you need a glass of wine.

“Love the sound of your feet walking away from things not meant for you” (and people, I suppose). Well, if you’re a X-Men, that’s great, because you know in advance what is meant for you, right? This way, you avoid “what is not meant”, but also “what could mean” for you one day, but do you care, really? Nope, but think of “NOT walking away from things not meant for you”. What could you discover?

“Stop seeking approval” is really fantastic, thank you I’m cured! But of course everybody’s seeking approval, even those lying liars who dared to write this. They craaaave likes, and followers, they want, like everyone of us, to be loved. Or maybe your a Hygge robot, you live with a chair, a flower and a fork, and you’d NEVER blog about that, because approval seekers are weak persons, losing their goal. Which I’ll never reach because I seek approval a LOT, and I’m not Hygge, but more in Hug needing. Have some?

“Your only limit is you”, but nahh, not true. Limits are veryeverywhere (I just invented this word, my only limit is me, see?). Laws, society, approval seeking, budget, world, incompetence, betrayals, weather too. Weather is important, oui? I like this one too : “I can and I will”. No you won’t. Okey, maybeeee…

“Don’t stop when you are tired, stop when you’re done”. Just hope you won’t have a car accident in between (yaaaawn). Come on! Get a nap, you deserve it, John.

Well, you can have fun with these for days. Just Google “motivation quotes”. Endless.

Last but no least, “Old ways won’t open new doors”. Errr. Eff… That’s pretty true, right?

Merci !

JP

…or “demotivation quotes”, make you think and are funnier :

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Light a fire under my fantasy flaw : Words VS Action

This article was triggered by a friend in the USA, telling me that many men from other countries asked her to visit (all this linked to love and attraction, etc…), but… “Who takes a plane to visit ME?”.

I read many interviews of filmmakers, who love to write stories and scenarios, and like to work for days on the editing process, but these directors hate shooting because it’s a compromise of their script – or at least they find it boring and complicated. You’re surrounded by a huge team who spend their time to fix problems, right? With actors who are fragile, lost, or complicated. They know they HAVE TO do it, though.

I think I’m this kind of guy. This is a flaw, and this is bad. I tend to live in a fantasy world. I like ideas, books, and metaphors. I like to say “Let’s keep it a dance”, but I don’t propose real tango lessons. I fantasize about traveling but I don’t even have a passport! I’d love to visit Luca (Italy), Yalta (Ukraine), or Petaluma (California)… and I don’t even have a car.

I’m not a doer, I’m not a strong person, I’m a dreamer and we dreamers tend to overthink instead of moving our asses. I know it can be felt as a betrayal by action people…

I should light a fire under my ass (ohh these American idioms with the word “ass”) but I don’t and won’t. Somebody could light it for me, but that’s lazy to easy to say that, right? And if I don’t move it could hurtburn my bottom, poor me! Condemned to stand up for the rest of my life…

Nevertheless, I think that you could find a sidekick lover, a partner who likes your conversation and dreaming capacities (fair’s fair), who settles in, takes their place next to you, not to become an engine or a pusher, which would be exhausting, but who knows you well enough to guess when to trigger this lever they know about. A single well placed sentence and a dreamer can become a strong action happy man. Tadaaaa.

OK, too easy, and lazy, right? It was probably…

…a dream 🙂

Have a nice day!

(Fair’s fair… I like this one!)

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Readiness & Availability VS Habits & Goals

Just seeds, ideas. Fight them. Or dance.

The habit pulls apart : you know something so much that you’re cut from it. The force of habit separates you from things.

The goal you’re staring at… can cut you from what’s happening now, next to you. Each time you say “I must”, maybe you lose something.

Whitehead says : “We think in generalities, but we live in detail

Readiness & Availability, these are two English words I love together. Habits, Goals and Rules, then tend to kill me. French casualness? What happens NOW?

You can read : The Propensity of Things

Thanks!

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Choose both, silly.

“You can choose courage or you can choose comfort, but you cannot choose both” can be, like many “quotes”, inspiring or deliciously stupid.

I choose comfort AND courage. I’m alive. I want to try paths. I consider I can explore different ways of life, different territories. I choose comfort, after I chose courage. I’m not single idea-ed or made of wood. Not a puppet. I invent my rules. I dance. I grow.

Well, you can do this exercise with any quote you find. Especially those talking about “Haha you can’t have both”. It’s bullsh*t. Choose both. A and B. In and Out. Both countries. Both. Balance. Movement. Bake 2 cakes!

Ecceity!

Thanks for reading. Have a great day!

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In French we call this “Enfoncer le clou” : Sink the nail. I already wrote this article. Bake Two Cakes. I know. Sorry 🙂

 

 

Uncontrol the Controllable – The Chardonnay Effect

“Control the controllable”, I read one day on a blog (about how to avoid stress, I think). This sounded like a generalization of Marcus Aurelius‘s quote :

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

…and I liked it. Control the controllable (which is your mind). Power and concision of English language!

Seneca says something like :

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality”

…which is complementary, right? What is uncontrollable, now, though?

MMmhhhh. Epictetus can help us here :

“Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.”

(I bolded the bold). It seems that philosophers from Antiquity had some thinkings about life, right? “As it happens” (Amor fati, etc).

Love what happens…

My article is about : what if, for a moment,  I do not want to control what I could control. Uncontrol the controllable. “Make the best use of what is in your power” can then become for me… to smile and listen to propositions of life.

I call it the Chardonnay effect.

Chardonnay is a French white wine. It seems to have a strange effect : I forget “rules and regulations”, I have less desires to control what I can control. I open some doors and paths, just to see. Don’t drink too much, though!

Thanks to some French Magic, I seem to be more able to enjoy the moment, extend possibilities, be in place, and realize that life is too short to CONTROL EVERYTHING.

Well, Chardonnay (and okey, other wines too, probably, LOL) have the capacity to make me decide to let go, to dance. With the ability – I hope – to recontrol if necessary, right?

Royksöpp, in this song, says the dangers of uncontrolling this way, though :

I still don’t know just what I’ve done
I don’t remember anymore what I used to be

OK, but what side doesn’t remember the other one? Is there a danger to begin to love the uncontrol? Is there a conflict between guts and reason? What kind of dance is it, then, between Face A and B, forest and trees, pleasure and rules, opening doors and lukewarm but necessary important security behind closed ones? Jekyll and Hyde? What kind of door is it, between the two?

Don’t drink, stay in control. Voilà.

Cheers! A la bonne vôtre !

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All the Buoys! When you fell from your boat…

I had a friend, she said to me one day : “I fell from horse”. It was a metaphor, of course, and I liked it. You’re stopped, hurt, maybe wounded. You have to slow down, and wait for the moment you’ll go horseback back, haha.

Well, you can try other moving devices metaphors. If you fall from a boat, it’s like more dangerous. You could drown ! And drown your sorrows in the same time…

Yeah, you need a lifebuoy. How will you do that, and what kind of buoyancy (oh this word!) do you need, little soul?

Watch, remember and think. Watch people around you, watch your past, your parents, friends, colleagues, stars : what king of lifebuoy do they use when then fall from horse into the water? From boat, sorry. Or plane?

  • Some buoys are dangerous or horrible : alcoholism, madness, pushing limits, drugs, workaholicness, hypercontrol (anorexia, orthorexia, religion).
  • Some buoys are… inner : Hope can bring some buoyancy (hope for better times?). Mindfulness can work if you can breathe (and you don’t get asleep). Quietism is cool, if you can build that state. You can call it indifference, OK. You can try!
  • Some buoys don’t work, most of them : you’ll drown. Goodbye.
  • Some buoys work for a small amount of time : shopping, getting drunk, daydreaming about happiness (or imagined bliss), sex, dancing and music listening, voilà.
  • My own buoy is to blog. I use what I see, what I read, to write. It helps me to organize my messbrain. It empties something. And it keeps me busy.

Keeping yourself busy is a good buoy. Finding a new domain to explore (learning a new language, a new art) or being creative (begin a blog, a novel, painting, photography?).

What will be YOUR buoy?

Friends are important. Some of them are sweet and clever enough to “help you with your buoyancy”. One knows how to be there, listens, avoids giving “advices” (“Smile, move on”, etc) and cares not to pierce your temporary, weak and thin buoy. One can ask about it, how you found it, how you use it, how it is important for you…

Then you eventually could go back on horse with this helping hand.

And take your orange lifebuoy off you : you don’t need this on horseback, you silly French!

PS : What if your buoy becomes permanent?

Thanks for reading!

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