Your Special World / Your Special People

“Some people make the world more special just by being in it”.

Obviously, with a rainbowed butterfly, it’s an “inspirational quote”, probably about love, right?

You can also think about stars (who said Marilyn Monroe?), or people who “really” changed the world, from Lincoln to Churchill. Inspiration.

I like to think about other ways to consider it….

Maybe it’s about someone who appeared and really changed you for good, and forever. A mutation, a growing up process. By the way, it’s maybe your spouse, now! Or it will be :

“The world is more special with you, I want to keep your around…”

 

Maybe it’s about someone who has been in your life and is now gone. A father who died, a lover who chose to let you down. This person is not there anymore, but you are – and you will always – think about him or her this way :

“What would he (she) think about that?”

 

Therefore, the colorful butterfly trick is maybe accurate. Some people ADD colors to your life, to your brain, right?

What about yourself? Do you think of someone who’d say that about you? Yes? No? Why?

 

Thanks for reading!

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“I chose you for your weaknesses” – #Pina

Aurélie Dupont is a well known French ballet dancer who performed with the Paris Opera Ballet as an Étoile. She is now the director of dance for the Paris Opera Ballet.

 

In an interview she says that in one day, as she was working under the direction of Pina Bausch, the German choreographer told her :

“Okay, you’re a very tough woman, you’re a very tough dancer, but I’m sure you’re very sensitive, and that’s why I chose you, and I want you to show me this. Because your strength, your force—I don’t care. I want to see your heart.”

Aurélie shortened it for the magazine’s interview :

“Do you know why I chose you? For your weaknesses. This is what I want to see of you”.

Oh my, this is a good seed, right?

 

The main question is :

What is the balance, in Pina’s brain, between

  1. I really want to see her weaknesses
  2. I have to say this to her, as a coach, to crack her toughness as an ambitious dancer.

 

This leads to another set of questions :

What is this state, when you’re almost at the point “to discover yourself”? What do you need, then? Another person? An accident, something which stops you until you discover your last step? A sentence you read somewhere, or hear? A friend? A surprise?

When you’re tough, hard with yourself, with the goal to be flawless, why do you always meet a point where you realize it’s a wrong way up?

Why do I always go back to this pattern, which is : when you’re stuck, your next path is maybe to find and develop ANOTHER FACET of you, which is often the contrary of you?

 

Mme Dupont was tough and very good. But Pina revealed something to her : you’re great, but now show us that you’re weak too, that you have a heart under your perfection.

 

Thanks for reading!

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Instagram : __bodylanguage__

 

 

 

Zodiac : lazinesses or challenges?

This is just a microthing about Astrology. If you think Astrology is nonsensical, you should not read that, it could bore you a lot, et j’en serais fort désolé…

We all have our ways to consider Zodiac. From 0 to 100, you believe in this or not. This is not my point here. It’s just about this question :

You were born one day, therefore you’re a Cancer, a Virgo or a Capricorn, etc. What do you do with this? How do you use it?

  1. Do you use it in sorry statements, to be lazy, like “I’m a Taurus I’m slow, you know…”?
  2. Do you use it to feel challenged, knowing your strengths and weaknesses, to become a better person?

I talked longly one day with a person who knew this field pretty well, who told me about people’s “Birth Charts”, with this smiling sparkle in her eye : some people with perfect harmonious charts were having terrible or failing lives, and some others with… complicated charts were living an interesting, challenging life.

Naaah you can have fun and say this is a good proof that all this is bouleshit for bored ladies. This is not kind! Stop that, I’m blogging! 🙂

In a way, who cares, after all : my pleasure here is to go back to the questions and the 1/2 pattern I am asking after them…

Dials : What, in our days, could be our Big Statement Bouleshit Mistakes? When do we say “I’m like that and I can’t change”? Why? What if we began to play “Unpinning Mindsets”? What if… sometimes… we needed to stop saying “I don’t do that, ever”?

Thanks for reading!

 

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Instagram : bodylanguage

A Way of Being in a Hole : Inventing Dawn

There are many ways to deal with depression, darkness, and feeling you’re stuck in a hole. You can cry alone, find someone who can help, you can complain, you can stay silent, you can think, you can fight to find your light, you can try to invent sparkles, you can be sarcastic, or become crazy, you can feel hope, or despair, you can wait, you can kill yourself.

Or you can invent your dawn.

Well, yes, it’s a feeling, or a decision, I don’t know. You’re in your dark hole like a forgotten filthy dog. Maybe you receive (or invent) your calling – it’s time. Maybe you just decide to move not your ass but your spirit.

You clean your sky from old squeaky moral rules, from guilt. You clean the pessimism. You want to increase your knowledge like a minstrel, a knight, a free spirit. Your refusal is joyful. You can almost guess and feel some new delights.

Rebirth. Convalescence. Regeneracy. Transition. A smell of new territories and above all : a new way to explore.

Jump out! You go girl!

Thanks for reading. Have a nice day!

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Counseling for couples : “Please become someone else”

Yes, yes, it’s a mess. It hurts. Toxicity and boredom alert! She wants to find the “second wind” of your marriage, le “second souffle”. “Counseling?”, she says? Your answer is YES. You’d better!

Then you have to “tell your story”, then listen to huge bullshbleep from a “professional”, many times.

Then, home, you try to do “as if” – at least for a few exhausting months. You know your flaws, right? You’ll “work” on them. Be ready. You’re on a mission now.

Let’s make it short :

“Please become someone else”

So here you are, with a list of “things to change” for your wife. “People can evolve!”, she says! You have four choices :

  1. You obey. Beck and call. Do that, and this too. Bravo! Your flaws vanished into magic. You will get tears of joy from her eyes, great hashtags on her social medias (#bestmoment #happymarriage), and a little more hanky-twalala-panky, probably. Reward it is.
  2. You really do “as if”. It’s about acting, now. It’s impossible to change really, because of course nobody changes, ever, but you can really do “as if”. You want to keep her, right? It’ll last the necessary length of time… until she sees it. Then you’re on you own.
  3. You say firmly “no”, and you’re done. Conflict and drama. Hold the wheel, buddy! Maybe find another therapist, later. A better one, OK?
  4. You run away and find an easier companion. Breathe. Life is made of dotted lines, after all. Next!
  5. Alcohol, accident, heart attack (or other self-sabotage), or any other boring “I go out” : anything DIY in the garage, work-out, biking, duck hunting. Some people even have two bedrooms!

Your choice?

Tools :

This was of course a sarcastic text. There are good professionals. Most of them are good listeners. They take big money to do that and that’s normal. Then, they will probably try to make you understand this : Your spouse won’t change, you have to accept your couple-dynamics.

“But wait, this means I should change myself ? You just said it’s impossible!”

Well : welcome into marriage!

In French we say :

Chassez le naturel, il revient au galop – “Shoo away your nature, it comes back at full tilt”

Well, I think you say “The leopard can’t change its spots”.

Can he?

 

Have a nice day!

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<< Please become what I want you to be >>

Ways of evolving

C’est très intéressant, l’idée du développement de l’enfant (see, you almost can read French!). Child development is interesting to study :

  • Physical growth
  • Motor
  • Cognitive/intellectual
  • Social-emotional
  • Language and communication

In fact, when you have a baby and you see his/her evolution, it’s really like you could notice the upgrades!

When we grow adult, there are phases when we develop too. Most of them are inevitable, linked to aging, divorce or bereavement. The loss puts you forward, to evolve.

But there are also more positive, inner development processes. Stages of life, meeting interesting personalities, love, new hobbies : we grow, even at 40, at 50, etc.

How to evolve? You can, like a tree :

  • Develop an aspect of yourself you already know, like growing a new branch on the tree.
  • Rotate, make a more complete change.
  • Invent a branch, or a root in the soil.
  • Displacement, like changing country.
  • Discover an atrophied part of you which needs care, a Face B.
  • Find your “big less“, find something you won’t do any more.

 

What does it mean? Can it be frightening? If you change too much, what about the system you live in (family)? What are the resistance to change (in you/outside)?

What will you do?

What are the verbs you need? Insist? Dare? Cut? Listen?

Thanks for reading!

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“Alaric claimed that a “demon” drove him against Rome. Every exhausted civilization awaits its barbarian, and every barbarian awaits his demon”. #Cioran #Quote

Emil Cioran (1911-1995), De l’inconvénient d’être né, part VIII :

Alaric claimed that a “demon” drove him against Rome. Every exhausted civilization awaits its barbarian, and every barbarian awaits his demon.

Typically Cioranesque : Two lines, irrevocable, interesting.

This quote contains two things, right? Today I’ll let got the second one, to focus on this :

Every exhausted civilization awaits its barbarian

I think it’s true. I think also it’s a pattern, a dial you can apply on other fields : couple and marriage, companies, partnership.

When this “structure” is done, tired, exhausted, rotten or worn out, many things can happen. The simplest one is to decide to destroy it. But many times – it’s so human – nobody can decide. It just goes wrong, more and more.

Awaiting a barbarian is awaiting an external element, who is new, and has this barbaric quality : he dares, he brings some chaos, or at least some fracture. He disturbs.

Then you extend the possibilities : rebuild Rome or not. Some windows were opened, some doors. You can mutate. You can be lost, cut from the rest, you can dance with the barbarian, you can kill him and insist on the past.

Awaiting another revealer?

Thanks for reading!

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