Passive-Aggressive? Fine!

ONE (behavior)

“Passive-aggressive behavior is characterized by a pattern of passive hostility and an avoidance of direct communication”, says Wikipedia.

One specialization of this is the Malicious Compliance, intentionally inflicting harm by strictly following the orders of a superior. This is bad, I know! But who could tell that they’ve not been there?

Here’s a story for you : In France, a few decades ago, during a very cold winter, a private, during his military service, was freezing his arse off at the entrance of a base, shift time. Imagine him holding his rifle, taping his foot on ice and snow. At one moment the base’s big boss nasty general came with his car and parked near the front desk, asking the duty little soldier this : “Private! Come here! My windshield is full of ice. I order you to throw a full bucket of hot water on it, at once!”. Of course, the little soldier opened the faucet and waited for the water to be boiling hot (malicious complicance!) before sparging it (at once) on the glass – which, of course, exploded immediately.

There’s a joy into this, right?

 

TWO (words)

What we see daily, what we read daily, is passive-aggressive tone in words. This is very common these days. You just have to say something gentle, knowing (hoping?) that the other side will understand it’s sarcastic.

“Thank you for cleaning the table! It’s very kind!” to someone who did not, for example – instead of saying : “I’m sad that you didn’t clean it, we should talk about organization”.

The easiest passive-aggressive sentence is pretty common, it’s :

“Fine!”

or

“Whatever!”

…both mean exactly the contrary, right?

 

I really often read passive-aggressive speech on social medias. “Honestly he’s sooo talented it’s so amazing I’m so impressed”. A laughing emoji can help us realize this person writes the contrary of what they think.

“Oh what a great (function) he is!!”…

 

Curiously, there’s no joy (at all) in writing the contrary of one thinks. It says : “I’m too weak to fight, and I’m afraid to say my truth”. It says : “As a matter of fact I don’t want to fix or change anything”. Passive.

 

THREE

But maybe one day someone will grow up, and won’t answer “Fine!”. They’ll answer : “This is not fine, let’s talk about it and decide together something”.

Maybe one day someone will grow up and answer : “I don’t like this, I’m not amazed, nor impressed – let’s find out why”. But now there’s a problem : it’s that the readers are SO used to passive-aggressive tone that they’ll think one just said the contrary! Damned!

 

Using a passive-aggressive behavior or tone in front of someone is to acknowledge the other one is stronger than you.

• It’s why it’s a joy when you use it in front of stupid hierarchy. Because it gives you a way out, a way to “win”.
• It’s why it’s sad in front of people around you. Passiveness means you acknowledge the other one is stronger, or, at least, that you don’t want to fight.

 

 

Thanks for reading!

 

 

Picasso & how to glean the best from letters.

Some Picasso‘s exes were writing him letters, sometimes daily, for years. I read that he loved these a LOT.

I’m writing an article about “Types of Muses”, idea given by his life & wives. Instead of giving a list of names with a few labels on each (intellectual/innocent, tortured/happy, silent/talkative) let’s say he met very different persons – which is common, but means maybe a lot more for a artist.

Daily stories, thoughts, attacks, melancholia, gossips, hopes or life moments, anything : Picasso opened the envelopes and loved them all with gourmandise, like love of good food, it “made his honey”, like we say in France (“Faire son miel”) : He knew how to glean the best from these letters.

Why, what for?

This leads me to some ideas or tools :

• Keeping bonds with personalities that count.
• A way to make excellent use of everything, extract or invent seeds of them.
• A form of happiness – to be a “best gleaner”, a happy amor fati person, a dancer with what “comes”.
• It also shows a strength. Knowing what he wants in his life, what he’s worth, in a way : “…but words will never break me”.
• What would one do else with daily letters? Trash them? It’s a pressure, right? Some likes pressure from others, because it’s life?
• Knowing that these persons think about him?
• Simple entertainment?

 

It makes me wonder about the daily writers too :

• Was it a promise – to keep in touch?
• When you know you write to Picasso (even if he is your “ex”), you stand up differently, you have to be “up to the conversation partner”, which is great for steam and inspiration, of course…
• Therefore it gives you a force, ideas, attitude, and a desire to impress, probably.
• A displacement/substitution for love and conversation…

 

(Hmm sorry I’ll be Picasso-ed for a moment)

Thanks for reading!

JP

 

Paul Valéry about “writing for someone”?

Why I talk to my exes

You’re great / You’re not great anymore

 

I told you soers & other uneasers

My daughter is 17 years old. She told me yesterday that I taught her a good lesson one day, and she remembered each of the words I said.

I do not remember “each word”, but I’m not surprised I told her this!

When and if one day you have the possibility to unease someone with your words, don’t do it.

Well, that seems obvious. I saw and heard it myself so many times, though…

For example, when one has the possibility to say “I told you so”, one should stay quiet. “I told you so” is a stupid simple way to tell the other you’re smarter. So what? It’s done, and the lesson is probably learnt, and your pal doesn’t need or wish to hear they’ve been stupid.

“I told you soers” just prove they’re, in fact, weak. They need to big themselves up. Probably because they’re not confident enough?

 

Unless for mean persons, they are other moments we should just keep quiet instead of jumping like a spider to wordhurt someone. What are these moments?

Other question : What happened which made my daughter remember this so precisely? Was it after kids drama? Have I been solemn or serious about it? Do your kids feel when you’re talking from somewhere deeper in ourselves?

Thanks for reading!

 

Managing Layers, Empathy Ways & Adaptation Paths

Wandering into this…

I work in a store. I have to deal with : managers, colleagues, customers. If you’re a principal in a school, you deal with : teachers & special educators, students, parents (a gardener deals with flowers – a client from time to time. Some days, I’d like to be this guy)…

I talked with a speech therapist one day, and we agreed on this : when you work with a lot of humans, you acquire an instinct, a very fast ability to adapt and adjust your communication ways to the others, your interlocutors.

Thus I really feel I have the head up display like in the Terminator red screen : when the robot meets someone, he’s computing, sorting, labelling what he sees, in real time. Tut criip tut tuuut!…

If today, at work, you meet someone you already know (a kid, a colleague, a chief), you’re fast inside because you have your labels ready, a bunch of stickers, it is. Then your sensors refines and adapts : what’s the mood here and is there something new to know? All this while your talking about the weather – right?

The purpose is not to terminate the person, but to adapt. It leads to a question about empathy : you empath, do you think or do you feel? Both? Of course both!

I posted an article about INTJ or INFJ in a forum, asking if the T (thinking) and F (feeling) are not, in fact, a braid, and I got attacked there by people who REALLY like their boxes and said I “did not understand”. Like in USSR in the old time, I probably needed to be re-educated.

So we work with groups (students/teachers/parents), we connect with individuals, we juggle with labels and realness, reality, we tango between instincts and analysis. Computing big data inside!

One day we are skilled enough to laugh when we learn that there are books about mentalism or “gestures analysis”. “Methods”. As if when someone crosses his legs to feel comfortable was a “sign of closure”! OMG.

Of course there’s a need of books! A few hundreds could be a beginning. Anthropology, Philosophy, Psychology…

And years of life.

Then, when you talk with your lover, you know he/she has an idea in her mind, a worry, a concern, anything. There, it’s not analysis, it’s instinct. And you effing WATCH your partner, from the inside, not as a pilot (you don’t decide this), you just notice anything : her eyes, a way of breathing, a microseconding hesitation in a phrase. You say : “What’s happening, dear?”. She’ll maybe answer :

– Aweee… How do you know?

OK. INFJ. Maybe…

 

Thanks for reading! Comment if you feel like you want to add something…

Have a nice day!

 

Instagram : _bodylanguage_

 

 

 

 

Refuse, Refute, Recuse : a game for conversation lovers…

This is a word game for seed lovers, conversation connoisseurs…

You’ll probably find this article vain, or useless. I offer it to word gold diggers only.

OK. Definitions :

• To refute is to (or trying to) prove something is false or incorrect.
• To recuse is an “act of intention” : it’s to affirm something is not true. It’s rejection, that’s all. It’s a “Nope”.

What I want to expose here is to remember that to refute is kind of serious. To recuse can be a game. You can recuse an idea, a statement… for fun. Or for the pleasure to examine the “other way”, the wrong one (why not) : just to see what can, could happen.

When I find a “smart quote”, I recuse it. I’m immediately searching for a way to say the contrary AND to show it’s true TOO.

A good conversationalist is a concept lover. Therefore, he or she is able to play that game. Pick an idea, recuse is. That’s all. Now you’re in front of an unknown territory.

“Without music, life would be a mistake“, says Nietzsche. OK. But wait : NO!

The tool is : Find a person you want to play with, pick an idea which seems… obvious, and… recuse it! Say no! “Nope! It’s the contrary!”. Then, have fun. Talk about sex, love, art, war, business, everything anything. Have fun, and send me a kiss.

Bonne journée ! Have a nice day!

Jean-Pascal

Instagram : hornsarahberlin

The “he must have the feeling HE had the idea” Type

He must have the feeling HE had the idea…

We all met this Type, right? It can be in couple, family, or at work.

So if you have a good idea, tell it to him and wait. If he stays silent, it’s perfect. The idea, like a seed, will go deep in his brain, then one day will come back at the surface, like “Heyy what if we do this?”. His idea. Bingo!

There is a diminished or a cousin syndrome of this Type. If you ask a direct question, a proposition, he won’t answer, or he will answer no. “Let’s go the beach”, or “Let’s have a walk” : NO.

The solution is to ask your question, then shut up and do something else in your corner. Maybe eventually he will come back to you and say “What did you want to do? A walk? Let’s go!”.

What do these Types need in front of them?

1. If you have normal communication skills, you’re done, you’ll become an annoying enemy who pressure him.
2. If you understood what’s happening you just follow these little recipes : he must have the feeling to decide everything, he must have the feeling he had the idea.
3. The best Type you can be in front of this Type is to have no idea, no proposition : just follow and everything will be fine. It’s perfect : just say yes, all the time.

 

Need a label? Narcissistic personality? Control freak? Who knows…

It triggers some questions about 1/2/3, too :

1. How does he fight back, against direct proposition or idea? Why, in fact? Does it come from childhood? Why a equal-equal conversation would lead to argument?
2. What’s happening when he understands that he’s been manipulated all along (like when a kid doesn’t want to do something and you say “You won’t dare”)? How to get out of this trap?
3. There’s a tension growing inside him in front of an obedient partner. Because like everyone of us we like and we probably NEED to be confronted with real propositions. The absence of that can make him spinning around, in need of an impulse…

 

Sorry for my bad English. Have a nice day!

Instagram : steph__wi_-__lonely_houses__by__sejkko

There’s a “You’re crazy” point in almost every #argument

The “You’re crazy” point in an argument, everybody knows that.

It’s very similar to the Godwin’s Law, an Internet adage which asserts that “If an online discussion (regardless of topic or scope) goes on long enough, sooner or later someone will compare someone or something to Hitler“.

It’s almost a law for “violent communication”. Instead of talking, telling your truth, have “impeccable words”, you just say to the other one “You’re crazy!”, “You should see a therapist”. Or worse : “I’ll put you in a mental institution”. That’s it.

I do think that, at this point, you should stop arguing and take a deep breathe. If you think it’s possible, try to make the other person to talk about himself instead of putting labels on you.

Yes yes, that’s the door to go outside of this.

But… Does the other person want it?

Thanks for reading!

Instagram : itspeteski

 

 

The Quirky Dance of Double Rejection

When I was in my twenties I was reading all Chögyam Trungpa‘s books. This guy (a “preeminent teacher of Tibetan Buddhism”) taught me many things. One of them was :

“Let go when someone tells you to get lost”

Trungpa says that if you nag & beg this person, then you’ll become a demon (he uses this word). I didn’t find again the exact quote, but I remember he was also talking about this image :

1. The rejecter is walking, he says “get lost”.
2. The rejected is begging and becomes a demon.

Well, I think we’ve all been there, that makes sense, right? This article is about what happens next.

• The rejected understands.
• Stops walking, and shuts up.
• (It’s his way to say : “Fine! Get lost too!”)
• He walks again, back on his own path.
• Silent double walk.

See me coming? Yes you do! OK, take a deep breath and visualize this :

• The rejecter slows down, now, thoughtfully.
• Then he walks in front of the other walker.
• He says : “Let’s talk”.
• The other walker doesn’t slow down, thinking the three-letters : “WTF”.
• He walks, it’s his turn to say “Get lost!”.
• Voilà!

It’s why I called quirky this strange dance, which exist between complicated lovers of course, but also between friends, family, spouses, siblings, companies, etc.

The rejecter rejects then is being rejected by the one he rejected when he doesn’t want to reject the other one anymore.

Make a loop of this. Dance.

Dial, then Lever :

What do we do of this dial? What does that mean? Is there an invisible string between the two walkers, a bond? What should they do? What should they say? How to stop the dance? Walk on more distant path? Having fun eventually? Realize it’s a dance and it could be great? Tango?

Thanks for reading!

 

Instagram : such_a_pretty_crazy

“Say your Say” – when a thinker’s tension needs a relief

Everybody knows this tension when you have to say something to someone.

You can write a letter to this person and then destroy it. You can organize a conversation because you “have to say your word”.

You can also read this article : “Venting of Paper“.

You “prepare” what you have to say for hours, hours, and days, overthinking your future monolog. And the day you’re on it, it’s even richer than what you prepared. Your mind is propelled by the tension you had in yourself for so long. You reach the end of your say with a feeling of relief.

Until next time, right?

It’s a similar process when you have to think how to write a blog article. You found the idea, you’re in front of your Macintosh, and… some days, it’s impossible : you don’t find the proper way to do it, you don’t find your first sentence, it simply does not move along.

Then you know what? Instead of watching the wall or your lamp like a dead louse, act like when you have to say something so somebody : find a random person around (your mother, your cat, a friend you can call), and explain to him/her what you would like to explain in this article, how you don’t succed, or maybe just ask a few questions, then jump through the first window which will appear in the person’s response. Blah blah time.

Your mind, propelled by the tension of “I have an idea I’d like to blog about but don’t know how to do it”, will do the rest : you’ll monolog, discovering probably new ideas along, et voilà. Then, say thanks to the poor headshaking listener, and write.

You can also read this article : “Get some help from an ignorant“.

Thanks for reading!

Instagram : bodylanguage

 

Fly off the handle and consequences

In France we have a different expression for “Fly off the handle” or “Blow his top” : Sortir de ses gonds

The “gonds” are the “door hinges” in French. So when someone is very angry we say “He’s out of his hinges”. In a way, I like this idiom. It means… “Ho ho…”. What can happen to a door out of its hinges, after all? It could be noisy, right?

So when someone blows his top, if there’s no plates flying, he or she SAYS things. And if you have a little common sense, you just don’t listen, or if you listen, you don’t answer. Because top blowing words fly off the handle over the roof, right?

Don’t pay attention. It’s a steam thing. Smile, but don’t show it : inside your belly.

But

If you need it, smash it back. Be angry. Scream louder. You are badly offended! Your feelings are hurt!

You can take seriously what shouldn’t been taken seriously, just because

1. you need it for a purpose
2. you’re a dramatic person
3. you’re stupid

Nooo : let it fly. It’s a steam thing…

Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

Drawn up Ping Pong : Slow Motion Conversation

This evening I talked for 10 minutes with a photographer. He’s interested in the concept of “perception” in Arts. What do people see? What is to be an artist? How to surprise the audience? To make “beauty”? What is a good picture? How to avoid people to drain into assessments, in Art? What is to be anecdotal? Questions and concepts were like a firework. It was GOOD.

I left this guy, riding my bike, with a smile on my face. He had the same smile. This smile said : “I shared ideas with an interesting person”. It’s almost a relief, right? It’s good, because both of us found ideas into this conversation. We climbed.

When you find an intelligent conversationalist who likes to play “this” ping-pong with you, it gives you a smiling string, an energy, all day long. You now have an interlocutor, a conversation partner. At least!!!!

Jubilation, it’s the word.

OK. Next step now. Imagine one found another.

We can talk in many ways. In real time, man to man, or with Skype. We can text. We can talk/collaborate, write articles, a book. There are many ways to live a conversation-bond.

When you find a “mate” like this, you can struggle for years before you find the right way to communicate. You have to find a pace, too. It’s sometimes difficult to find it but you insist, because you know there’s something.

Maybe you have to slow down? Shut off everything and go to snail paper mail, or “twice a month email”. Etc. Meta-talk about it, it’s interesting! Why?

If you’re fast : text. If you’re near : have a glass of wine and talk for hours. If you need quiet : email.

I like emails. It’s quiet, slow, you can read, re-read, make it grow, garnish, then read over, then again, before you SEND. You can perfectly invent an agreement with your mate : “Don’t write before you get my answer” (which is great : you can decide to stop this for months if you feel like it), or “Two emails a month”. Invent yours!

In our times of speedy communications, everything quiet, drawn up and slow is seen like a treasure. “Keep pace with” because it’s worth it. Slow it down, underwater. Make each sparkle a gold nugget.

What do you think? Who wants to try?

Thanks for reading! Merci !

 

Proposition

A proposition is disturbing, a proposition comes to you, towards you : it’s an impetus, it gives you something to feel, a proposition is the contrary of a steady lukewarm attitude, a proposition is showing a potential of actions : if you accept it, it will build, with you, another state of your life, a proposition can be interesting, a proposition can move your brain, your spirit, or put you on alert, a proposition is an invitation, a proposition shows you a new way to organize the world, a proposition shows you a contrast between what you have and what you could have, a proposition is an upsurge : the world is talking to you, you can be modified by it, a proposition can make you move, a proposition can destabilize you, a proposition can trigger a rearrangement, a proposition can result to a big satisfaction, to a richer moment, a fulfillment which could join up with your personal library of experiences and make you available for more exploring paths.

Instagram : bodylanguage

The power of questions & the strength of possibilities

The power of questions is the power of intriguing you.

Some questions don’t even need answers, but have the power to move your brain, to make it invent. Invent concepts, ways, doors, solutions, views…

Questions are events (because where you live, there is no florescence of questions). Questions are interesting, they can also be disturbing, or funny.

You can make the decision to let yourself be driven, or be pushed around by the power of questions.

Questions trigger movements in your brain, movements of dance, of dodging, or even swerving. Smile!

Questions secrete glowing happy interesting fog-patches of possibilities around you.

Maybe questions can meet… your own questions. Maybe they help you to ask some more questions to your partner, or… to yourself : to be surprised, to discover the strength of possibilities.

Sorry, I’m French, and if my quirky English tickles you, my bad.

Tool : Invention. Events. Decisions. Movements. Possibilities. Questions are powerful. Ask, or be asked? Both! Dolphins are fast and elegant, they seek this dance.

Merci !

Writing in another language

I’m French. I write in English. Why? Here’s what I see :

• Blogging in English forces me to me short and simple.
• So it’s like pendrawing instead of oil painting. Water instead of wine.
• I constantly check (and thus learn) vocabulary.
• So I have to think about the French vocabulary too.
• I am not distracted by any search of French “Style”, and it’s a relief.
• I quit my well known ground, to find another babyway to walk on another soil.
• Writing in French is like “too easy”, it flows fast (as I type) from ideas to words.
• Writing in English is more like building a little plane-model with unusual words. It’s slower, and a pleasure too.
• There’s a playing child pleasure into it.
• As it’s not my “tongue”, I feel really more chilled out when I write here.
• Therefore I can focus on my little tools, not “How to say that in French properly”.
• I invent words with a smile.
• I make mistakes on purpose… with a smile.
• I know and feel that I miss something, and I have to ignore it, and let go.
• I can speak English, but I’m also quite lost in it. I explore, then.
• I learn constantly about American culture, just by watching the way this language expresses things.
• Idioms are different, and each time it’s like finding a jewel.
• It’s probably an exercise for “one day write in French”, with new eyes and muscles-of-the-brain gained from writing in another language.
• It can also be a way to voluntarily lose bad habits in my own language.

 

Beautiful books are always written in a sort of foreign language, said Marcel Proust. That’s a great seed for the mind, don’t you think? It’s about style. When I’ll “write back” in French, I’m sure I’ll be richer, then, because of my English exploration years…

Merci!

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Obedient “to the finger and the eye” is the French “beck and call”

“Obéir au doigt et à l’œil” (“to obey the finger and the eye”) is the French way to say that you’re at somebody’s beck and call.

I found out that it comes from “beckon call”, which makes sense, right? By the way, I learned a word : Beckon – “gesture to come”. 

How do you say that in your language? In common use, what’s the radioactivity of “beckon”? Is it neutral like “to call over”? Or does in imply a little slice of servitude? What are the differences between to yield, to comply, to obey, to submit?

What are the dials and levers here? If you’re at somebody’s beck and call, what does it show? Is it about fear? Power? Is it about persons, or systems, companies?

What about the beckoning person? How come this person expects you to act this way? Has he enough power to get you back in “the right track”? Or does he have to understand that “people are not all obedient”? What a shock!

What happens, in a situation where you’re supposed to comply and you don’t? Failure to comply, disobedience, rebelliousness? Why would you? A frontier has been crossed? Did you change? Did you grow up? Has the whole system changed? Did you change your mind? Why?

In what territory to study this? Kingdom? Management? Spouses? Clients/employees? Politics? Parenting? What are the limits of beck and calling?

 

Faire à manger (to cook), Faire pipi (to pee). In France, we “faire” a lot…

In France we make love, but we also make food (faire à manger), make some jogging (faire du jogging), and we make some boat too (faire du bateau).

I really don’t know why we French do this, the “faire” thing, and I wonder if there’s another language with this mess.

More : we all know that our “way of thinking” in the world is like built in the language. What does it imply?

A few more examples to play with :

• Faire du gringue : to flirt.
• Faire fi : to ignore.
• Faire du vélo : to bike.
• En faire une maladie : to have a fit (oh?).

Strangely enough, in France we say “prendre une douche”, like in English “to take a shower”. Italian people, though, “fare una doccia” : to make a shower”!

Thanks for reading!

Instagram : francescasomavilla

The Rilke Syndrome – Premature #INTJ Familiarity Problem

You’ve been there before, I’m sure : you meet someone who listens, or seems to understand your preoccupations, and you realize you can maybe really talk with this person… and then you scare this person with your intensity (or your long emails).

I found this paragraph in a 1903 letter from Rainer Maria Rilke to Lou Andreas-Salomé. I did my best and tried a poor English translation :

… I always fall straightway, with all the weight of my passion, at the bottom, and I scare people, as would make a premature (almost unseemly) familiarity, by approaching at once the most secret and deepest layers; It is a fault, not to say a coarseness, of which they wonder, and to me a fault, a mania which excludes all real contact (that is to say, useful and fertile) with them;

So I decided to call this the Rilke Syndrome.

It triggers questions, right?

• What happens when you realize that? Embarrassment?
• How to avoid it without becoming a “thinker on an island”?
• What happens when the other person clicks?
• How to link this syndrome to sapiosexuality? (Sapiosexual : a person who is sexually attracted to intelligence or the human mind before appearance.)
• What are the signs you are doing it?
• You INTJ or Enneagram 5, should you ask about your partner before deep talking, before revealing yourself as a fool?
• What energy pushes you to think-vent like that in front of someone? A kind of relief? Why?

 

Ask your closest friend : “What do I do wrong?” – #friendship #goals #coaching

It’s just a tool and the title says everything :

Ask your closest friend : “What do I do wrong?”

Maybe you have a clue and you want to ask him or her (now I say her) about a problem you have. You both know you have to talk. Prepare a tea, free up an afternoon, and you go girls!

This idea is different, it’s more like : you just want to watch your best friend in the eyes and ask for truth. It’s different and it’s rare. “I ask you to tell me : in your opinion, what do I do wrong?”.

YES it’s asking for “friend-coaching”, and why not?

You have to be aware, both of you. This could lead to dangerous paths, or… uncomfortable discoveries! Set the rules, chillbreathe and let’s go. You are both smart. I know that.

It’s a variation of this article : When you friends are so close that you organize arguments for pleasure. But it’s not for fun, or to teach, or to wander delightfully in the Kingdom of Ideas. It’s about you. Your friend knows your soil and your inner axles. Listen to her, carefully!

Hug, then.

Merci et bonne journée!

Art by Jessica Hess

 

“How did you dare?!” – Small Talks & Smaller Talks at work

Small talks at work, we all do that. At least we try : mini-gossips, weather complains, anecdotes, little booboos and week-end failures, right? It’s friendly!

But are you lucky enough to know a colleague who could do “smaller talks”, which are like wordwinks? I do. And that’s delightful.

She passes by and says to me very seriously, without any sight of slowing down :

“Certainly not!”

Then she’s gone.

Yeahhhh. You’ve been there, I hope! I often open my mouth, as expected, like very scandalized. That’s all. That’s enough.

One pleasure is to notice the slight wtf-embarrassment of other people.

And one another is to prepare a strict, mean revenge, for her appreciation. I could go beside her one hour later, and say with a strong belief :

“How did you dare??”

So there. Bim.

She’d frown and answer : “Because!”, then will push the cork : “HA!”. That’s all. After lunch, in the stairs, she’d add : “You had it coming!”. Ohhhh!

Well, you sometimes have to find your mate!

Thanks for reading! Bonne journée!

When you friends are so close that you organize arguments for pleasure #INTJ

There are as many types of friendship as friends in the world. You party together, or you are a group of friends, a tribe, you are venting friends, or friends with a political cause, etc…

When you’re both thinkers and talkers, your playground is made of concepts, ideas, directions and possibilities, etc. Bonjour INTJ s !

After this world of words you have the possibility to make them real and work for good, or not – because the world of ideas is a treasure island, of course (and you feel comfortable home, right?). If you don’t USE the ideas now, they can feed you for days, months or years. Later. Plus tard. Mais oui !

Tool :

Sometimes so are so close that you organize arguments for pleasure. Just for the fun of it, just for the bliss of energy, fighting, breaking mindsets, happy disturbance.

I know a teacher who did this with his best friends in front of adult students, just to make the class more interesting!

You can do that with your friend, a colleague, a spouse, anybody who’s clever enough to play.

You need of course to both KNOW that it’s a game. And you have to watch closely to what happens within the flow : sometimes it could happen that you really hurt your friends. We have all some nerves which shouldn’t be touched. Your friend know them, but not necessarily all of them, right?

Most of the time, it will work, though. It’s delightful, and rare. Your bond is stronger each time. And if you had an audience, good to them, thumbs up and all.

Peace! Thanks for reading!

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