The Quirky Dance of Double Rejection

When I was in my twenties I was reading all Chögyam Trungpa‘s books. This guy (a “preeminent teacher of Tibetan Buddhism”) taught me many things. One of them was :

“Let go when someone tells you to get lost”

Trungpa says that if you nag & beg this person, then you’ll become a demon (he uses this word). I didn’t find again the exact quote, but I remember he was also talking about this image :

  1. The rejecter is walking, he says “get lost”.
  2. The rejected is begging and becomes a demon.

Well, I think we’ve all been there, that makes sense, right? This article is about what happens next.

  • The rejected understands.
  • Stops walking, and shuts up.
  • (It’s his way to say : “Fine! Get lost too!”)
  • He walks again, back on his own path.
  • Silent double walk.

See me coming? Yes you do! OK, take a deep breath and visualize this :

  • The rejecter slows down, now, thoughtfully.
  • Then he walks in front of the other walker.
  • He says : “Let’s talk”.
  • The other walker doesn’t slow down, thinking the three-letters : “WTF”.
  • He walks, it’s his turn to say “Get lost!”.
  • Voilà!

It’s why I called quirky this strange dance, which exist between complicated lovers of course, but also between friends, family, spouses, siblings, companies, etc.

The rejecter rejects then is being rejected by the one he rejected when he doesn’t want to reject the other one anymore.

Make a loop of this. Dance.

Dial, then Lever :

What do we do of this dial? What does that mean? Is there an invisible string between the two walkers, a bond? What should they do? What should they say? How to stop the dance? Walk on more distant path? Having fun eventually? Realize it’s a dance and it could be great? Tango?

Thanks for reading!

 

Or don't. 
#bangbang, #popart

Instagram : such_a_pretty_crazy

Proposition

A proposition is disturbing, a proposition comes to you, towards you : it’s an impetus, it gives you something to feel, a proposition is the contrary of a steady lukewarm attitude, a proposition is showing a potential of actions : if you accept it, it will build, with you, another state of your life, a proposition can be interesting, a proposition can move your brain, your spirit, or put you on alert, a proposition is an invitation, a proposition shows you a new way to organize the world, a proposition shows you a contrast between what you have and what you could have, a proposition is an upsurge : the world is talking to you, you can be modified by it, a proposition can make you move, a proposition can destabilize you, a proposition can trigger a rearrangement, a proposition can result to a big satisfaction, to a richer moment, a fulfillment which could join up with your personal library of experiences and make you available for more exploring paths.

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Instagram : bodylanguage

Pushing a lever in #music : in The Field’s “Over the Ice” #electronica

Deconstructing music is a good exercise for ears, mind, intelligence and creativity. Try to forget what’s “around” the track you like (your mood, remembrances, your dance, your pleasure) and focus.

Launch this, please : Over The Ice

You can deconstruct different “families” of things. The instruments (bass? drum? violin?), the production (how all these sounds are placed, modified, how they are evolving), etc.

You put your headphones on, and you visualize music as a land, a scene moving along a road (which is time, evidently).

I love to “see” a music piece as a big set of LEVERS. Each sound can be discreet or loud, dry or reverberated. Some levers determine all the others : is it simple (lever low) or complex (lever high)? Assonant, dissonant? Quiet, energic?

There’s a good live version here : The Field – Over the Ice

This guy is interesting, because in the area of electronic music, he changes the position of one lever : evolution. Yesssss we all know that these musicians like to “make us wait”. But here, it’s like too much, but with talent, with a good purpose. We wait, we wait too much, and if we are not bored, it’s just charging our brain and our ears. Little Steve Reich, yeah. Or Richard Pinhas, if you remember this Heldon guy…

As, in the live part, he works with a bass player and a drummer, the effect is fantastic. It’s charging, charging, looping…. until the “charge release” at 4:40 is… Qu’en pensez-vous ?

They call it “minimal techno” for this reason. MMmmmh?D

What lever would you lower, in your area, to make people wait? In poetry? In marketing?

Sipping moods in summer nights, the “outside the party” Type…

You’re a teen, you’re a young adult, it’s summer. Let’s party! Of course, let’s party! Let’s have fun!

This is the moment to study territories and moods. Mmhh?

One is to be inside the party. Next to the others. Energy and fun. Music, dance, paper lanterns, long tanned legs, laughs and short skirts, right?

Two is to be beside the party. Night is warm, hands are very slowly brushing over, kisses are delicate (or French). Lovers!

But there’s a third one.

Debussy : Nocturnes

Three is : you’re lonely and you walk around, outside of the party. You can be sad, you can be happy. You may just be in this delicious melancholy of being there… Air smells harvest, lightning bugs draw flickering sinuous lines in obscurity. You just smile because you hear echoes of the party, brought by the wind, or slightly hidden by trees. The party is there, but not too close. You turn around it, or you lie alone in one nocturnal wheat field (there’s a sky above to stare at, right?).

One could study the Lines.

Frontiers between the Party and the Night. No man’s lands and in-betweens. People coming in. People leaving. Places from where you can see. Or hear echoes of voices and laughs.

The Paths between them. A night wanderer coming back from the trees and the sky to the dancers in the light. Two lonely souls out of the party meeting along a coast path and beginning to walk together under the moon. Quietly chatting. People in need of the night to reassemble themselves, to breathe, to think, to appreciate. People of the night in need of the party to check something, or to dance a little, to gather some electricity before coming back into sweet darkness and loneliness. Sipping moods.

Dial :

It reminds you something? What type are you? Where are introvert people? How do they move? How do they sip? What kind of people do you wanna meet? Where do you stand? In the light with loud music or in the night with stars and shy crickets? Or Both?…

 

#Park #bench

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Don’t think about the color “Blue” for a minute…

ONE

Let’s imagine I dislike George Michael. I hate his music. So here I am building a web page about that : “I hate GM !”. I write daily articles about everything I hate, his nose, his voice, his life, etc.

Until I realize I hate George Michael and I’m thinking about him all day long. I harvest things for my blog. I hunt. I spit words. I am obsessed by someone I don’t want to think about. Smart !

TWO

Don’t think about the color “Blue” for a minute…

Mmmhhh ?…

THREE

As I’m constantly reading slices of books, I one day read something in my sofa, from Nietzsche, and two hours later, in triangles of sun (see picture below), from André Suares (I will find the quotes soon and put it there). Both were talking about people banning sex from their life. They were both noticing that when you do that, you have like a black hole in the center of your brain, thinking about sex constantly.

Work for a Temperance Movement, become an activist : you will be in a position where you talk about… alcohol and sex constantly !

Tool :

If you hate George, just don’t pay attention to him. Breathe. If you want to think about the color blue, think of it, it’s not that dramatic. If you want to have a drink, just relax and have a glass of wine. If you need peace, don’t build a block castle : listen to some Royksopp and dance with what’s around. Dialog. Or not. Solemn drama or dolphin casualness ?

I suggest Coming Home.

#allisyellowtoday

The Flight Excites the Hunter

 

 

“I miss something, but… I don’t know what it is…”

“I miss something, but… I don’t know what it is…”

I think you feel something in the deepest of your chest when you read this phrase. Right ? If you don’t, you can go watch your Christmas tree or go to the gym, you’re good.

The Abandonment Syndrome is in almost everyone of us. You don’t have to be an orphan, being abused, or to have alcoholic parents to suffer this pain ! for this incompleteness, It’s a matter of shades, though…

Mistrust, sabotage behaviors, need of control, excessive moods, etc, and this “hole” you have in your heart, sometimes.

“Quelque chose me manque, mais je ne sais pas quoi…”

Yes, it’s a matter of shades (degrees, levels, what should I say ?). It can be a very little feeling of loneliness if you can’t share your enthusiasm after a great (French) movie, to a dangerous nervous breakdown leading you to suicide or hospital.

I realised a bit late in my life that the biggest joy and happiness were brought to me when I found a mate with whom I could SHARE (which is the key of all this, for myself) things, ideas, glee and jubilation.

This became clearly a flaw. I filled my abandonment with sharing, sharing, sharing. So much that I could fall in love with a brain “made of the same wood” (and it became like an orgy of sparkling ideas each time I talked with this person). When this person is away, you feel like a lonely fool, with all your sharing stuff bouncing in your head, cf this Inner Gold article.

Levers :

Growing as an adult, I found out there are two ways to deal with abandonment, incompleteness.

1/ Never surrender. Find your mates. Share. Be happy. Life is short. Cherish them. It can be from a distant Facebook friend you will never meet to the biggest love of your life, the person you would marry. Yes it’s a hunt. Yes it’s a terrific source of bliss !

2/ Surrender. Know the irony of life. Recognize the pain you have in your heart. Know it. Dance with it. You’re alone, you’re alone forever. Play as if you were happy. Be happy. Be alone happy, even if you’re in family. This loneliness can be tamed.

You know how I know that ? I watched older people around me. The intelligent, the sparkling ones. They explore the world and its culture, Art, they dig, deeply, they love it ! They don’t need to share. They are all alone. They like it like that. Some of them told me the secret : the hole and the pain, it’s here. They learned how to not care, and not let things get to them.

#flower

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