Reflect on the day… #Garfield

#Vodka #Haiku :-)

The struggle is real
for horny Catholic girls,
Sunday confession.

Arabella Zamora

 

Instagram : such_a_pretty_crazy

 

By Jove ! GILES is a genius cartoonist

Giles was a cartoonist best known for his work for the British newspaper the Daily Express.

He drew mainly single but highly detailed panel, about British life.

I bought dozens of books in UK on ebay for nothing : he’s absolutely unknown outside of Great Britain because his “jokes” were often linked with British events. It’s now outdated, but what remains is so gorgeous that… I had to write about it. I’m thankful, in a way!

I admire him for his sense of space, light and scenery. There are often plenty of funny little details to look for. This gives you a special smile.

He invented a British family, and the star is “Grandma”.

I chose here three panels linked to bad weather. I love the three characters trying to hide from the cold wind in 1, the perspective and the wet road in 2, and the contrast of the guy sleeping and the rain outside in 3.

In a single drawing, you have a whole British mood. You will find plenty on Pinterest. Really, give it a try, watch his sense of image. This guy always knew where to put his camera…

Bloody rain! By Jove!

8 little Concerns with no name

Le Baleinié is a French little book, a dictionnary of 454 INVENTED WORDS about “les tracas”, concerns and bothers and fusses. I offer some examples for you pleasure.

Azog : your right shoe laced up tighter than the left

Bahan : a simple word you always forget

Chouir : to act as if you didn’t get the splutter

Dadu : impolite noise the chair does when you sit on it

Miasliquer : to sit on your cat

Flomper : to gain pounds when after you stop smoking, and then keep the weight once you’re back on smoking

Grucinelle : space between you sock and the bottom of your trousers, in which an icy wind can blow

Igourie : the gift you have to “search first in the wrong pocket”

See? We have a whole book of these little concerns, in France.

Have fun!

Faire à manger (to cook), Faire pipi (to pee). In France, we “faire” a lot…

In France we make love, but we also make food (faire à manger), make some jogging (faire du jogging), and we make some boat too (faire du bateau).

I really don’t know why we French do this, the “faire” thing, and I wonder if there’s another language with this mess.

More : we all know that our “way of thinking” in the world is like built in the language. What does it imply?

A few more examples to play with :

• Faire du gringue : to flirt.
• Faire fi : to ignore.
• Faire du vélo : to bike.
• En faire une maladie : to have a fit (oh?).

Strangely enough, in France we say “prendre une douche”, like in English “to take a shower”. Italian people, though, “fare una doccia” : to make a shower”!

Thanks for reading!

Instagram : francescasomavilla

“Do you, Herf, take Bosha to be your wife?” – “Absolutely!”, or “Hell, yesss!”?

“Do you, A, take B to be your wife?”, I think it’s the way this guy asks you that in church, right.

But you HAVE TO answer “I DO”, right?

What if you could answer what you want?

• Oui
• Hell YESSS!
• OMG, of course…
• Why not?
• Yep
• Ohlalaaaa
• Obviously!
• …
• What do you think?
• No. Yes! Just kidding
• Interesting question…

What would you add?

 

Instagram : birdsnakes

 

Attack of the giggles at a funeral : End of Solemn

C’est son chapeau!

Yeaaah we’ve all been there, right? You’re in church, at a funeral. You noticed a really ridiculous hat on some old aunt’s head, then you eye-contact with your sister who saw that you saw. You’re done : you get the giggles (is this the correct way to say it?), you can not stop laughing. Go outside and burst, you silly both!

Beware, because it could happen to you in an important meeting!

Attack of the giggles has a purpose : it’s an urgent need to end solemnity.

It’s a dial, and the giggleneedle touches a red slice of it, you’re done. Dring!

It’s a tool :

You are maybe also a ridicule feathered hat owner, you know? Who could be giggling out about what you do, and why? Where are you arrogant, intensely solemn or ridiculous? Examine your so strong recent decisions… Mmhhh?

Thanks for reading!

 

“How did you dare?!” – Small Talks & Smaller Talks at work

Small talks at work, we all do that. At least we try : mini-gossips, weather complains, anecdotes, little booboos and week-end failures, right? It’s friendly!

But are you lucky enough to know a colleague who could do “smaller talks”, which are like wordwinks? I do. And that’s delightful.

She passes by and says to me very seriously, without any sight of slowing down :

“Certainly not!”

Then she’s gone.

Yeahhhh. You’ve been there, I hope! I often open my mouth, as expected, like very scandalized. That’s all. That’s enough.

One pleasure is to notice the slight wtf-embarrassment of other people.

And one another is to prepare a strict, mean revenge, for her appreciation. I could go beside her one hour later, and say with a strong belief :

“How did you dare??”

So there. Bim.

She’d frown and answer : “Because!”, then will push the cork : “HA!”. That’s all. After lunch, in the stairs, she’d add : “You had it coming!”. Ohhhh!

Well, you sometimes have to find your mate!

Thanks for reading! Bonne journée!

This is the funny story or the #Wilhelm scream – #movies

In the fifties, a sound engineer recorded the sound of a screaming man and put it into the film he was working on. In a scene from the film, soldiers are lost in a swamp in the Everglades, and one of them is bitten and dragged underwater by an alligator.

“Aaaahhh!”. Well, here it is :

 

The guy filed the tape under the name : “Man getting bit by an alligator, and he screamed”. So there.

Years after, a sound designer called Ben Burtt put the sound into a Star Wars movie (on a falling Stormtrooper), in Indiana Jones also. Since then, other sound designers began to put it in movies, and it became a joke.

If you want to know more, Google “Wilhelm Scream”. You’ll find another scream, and some YouTube clips with the best use of it. Ain’t it perfect?

Thanks for reading!

Some examples?

 

 

There are two types of men in the world

Those who think there are two types of men in the world, and the others!

Nasreddin

21 ways to “put a poo, but mindfully”; N°17 is great! – #mindfulness

So well OK, you will find entire BOOKS about Mindful Eating, Mindful Walking, Mindful Mindfulness, whatever. One lever about creativity is combination, so I think you should write a book about another thing to do mindfully.

Put a poop mindfully is one of the best way to be a good mindfuller. Here are the 21 secrets, in disorder. Mindfulness does not care about sequence, order, etc.

1. Don’t watch your cellphone, or any magazine, silly!
2. Be awaaare of what’s happening
3. Feel it, visualize the poo’s journey in you until, well, voilà
4. Inspire, and visualize the air’s journey into your lungs
5. Focus – but not too much
6. Put down your panties… mindfully
7. Never force out, but grin
8. Be grateful and graceful, it goes without saying
9. Between each push, think about it, and breathe deeper
10. Know how and when to wait
11. Watch the door and free your mind, that’s it
12. Watch your hands when you grab paper, they’re dancing for you
13. Be mindful about what you do with the paper, roll, fold : mindful always!
14. Feel the color of the paper, it means something, mindfullnessly
15. Open and/or close the door mindfully
16. If you can, put a poo under the open sky – mother nature etc
17. Calm is strength
18. Don’t think; thoughts are just harmless black birds passing by, that’s all
19. Be aware of your force
20. Close your eyes, sometimes but not always
21. Listen! Feel all you senses and be in harmony with noises

 

So what do you think of all these posts everywhere, built on this pattern : “n things your must know about this subjects”? Can be 12 funniest lolcats, 5 sex revelations, 6 best new technology or 12 tricks for photographers… Can you resist these hooks (which aims at you to go to other pages full of ads, of course)?

Hmm?

Thanks for reading! Have a nice poo!