When you’re not OK, you often don’t want to go to sleep : you play video games instead, or you chat online, or you binge-TV until VERY late in the night.
I’ve been there, playing Quake II alone or Myth online all night long, or rebuild the world in interminable conversations with other old lost souls, listening to Bach or Steve Roach‘s music with candles. It makes you forget you have no (…) in your life. Good!
Now I’m older, I found another way, which is the contrary the reverse one, le contraire.
You go to bed at 7 PM. You know it’s early and that you will “read”. But you’re too drunk or tired to do that. And thinking about your parked life is boring. Your eyes are exploded because you watched the clouds too much. You sleep at 7:30 PM (with a pill). You wake up, completely lost, at 2 AM, but if you’re lucky you can sleep a bit more. Until 3:30 AM. You slept enough, you’re ready to go! It’s your own f*ckin’ “Miracle Morning”!
Well you’re ready for coffee, right? At 4 AM, you’re fresh and happy. If it’s winter, you’re packed under two pairs of socks & trousers and three sweaters in front of your Macintosh, trying to write something from an idea you had in a dream, a book you liked, about some Desert Music pulsing, or an old diary you wrote ten years ago. You should write a novel, but nope it is. Later when you’ll have the strength blablabla tululu.
Happiness is in little moments : you can watch, in Summer, the dawn’s first lights. It’s colored, and beautiful. If you have the energy, Instagram it!
Thanks for reading!
I already wrote a little article about this question : Why do people blog? Why do people post on Instagram? It was a long list of hypothesis, but at the end, I bet that people post to be loved. I read this week that the worse thing for depression is Instagram (because, as I guessed well, people often want to show to the world that they are “very happy, blessed by life and in love”, which makes the viewers jealous or at least a bit depressed because themselves are obviously NOT that happy, right?).
You click a hashtag, randomly, and you see billions of pictures. Why do people post on Instagram? The key word is “motivation”. Some take pictures and post them to :
- Get followers
- Share their work
- Meet people with same interests
- Indicate to others how happy and blessed they are
- Show how interesting they are
- Make people laugh
- Show their “beauty”
- Reveal beautiful places they visit
- Indicate they are in couple, in love
- Indicate they are sad, alone, or tired
- Put a stalker in pain
- Show their artistic talent
- Show their project
Etc! One good question is :
When you post something somewhere, are you aware of your audience, or do you work only for yourself, your happiness?
I watched Paterson and I immediatly thought about another movie : Dead Zone : Christopher Walken is in coma for many years after a car accident. His wife remarry. Then he wakes up. His loneliness is then unbelievable (and the actor fantastic at it). It’s a world of ice. And he has a power to see the future…
Paterson (Adam Driver) is terrible alone too, but it’s VERY different. He has a beautiful young wife, a job (he’s a bus driver), some friends in a bar, and he writes poems. He’s quiet, modest in a modest life – he doesn’t talk much about his poems (though he continuously meets other people – a rapper, a little girl, a japanese man – interested in poetry). He writes in his bus, while he has lunch, in his basement. Nobody reads his poems. He sees struggling people around him (two young men lost with flirting, a colleague and his numerous family problems, a broken-hearted black man in the bar) and stays impassive and calm, benevolent. Idem with his girlfriend (who is a sweet dreamer, a dabbler artist). We all see he is not really connected, to anybody. He just goes on with his life, quietly putting words in his little booklet…
Walken and Driver are standing up. They are the loneliest characters I’ve seen ever (well, apart from Tennessee Williams’ plays). Both find something to do, though. They find their “mission”. The first one leads to drama (it’s from a Stephen King novel, after all). The second one is revealing a “way of being in the world” : being there without being very concerned (cf Inside Sidestepping) or affected. It talks about Sisyphus and about the Waldgänger, too…
It broke me heart, yesterday night, like a Chekhov or a Carver short story can do…
Thanks for reading! Have a great week-end!
(I love this little dances of words too : Walken and Driver/Driver plays a bus driver/Paterson lives in Paterson, New Jersey/etc)
A photograph worries.
He doesn’t want to enjoy the moment, but to take advantage of it.
As usual with Jünger. This seems right. Then it sounds wrong. Then you begin to think. What is “to be a great photograph”? Can you take advantage of the moment AND enjoy it at the same time?
Photographs, poets, actors : it’s similar : What’s the part of inspiration? What’s the part of control? How do they listen to their inner critic? What kind of dance, between the thinker and the feeler, inside?
I’m French. I write in English. Why? Here’s what I see :
- Blogging in English forces me to me short and simple.
- So it’s like pendrawing instead of oil painting. Water instead of wine.
- I constantly check (and thus learn) vocabulary.
- So I have to think about the French vocabulary too.
- I am not distracted by any search of French “Style”, and it’s a relief.
- I quit my well known ground, to find another babyway to walk on another soil.
- Writing in French is like “too easy”, it flows fast (as I type) from ideas to words.
- Writing in English is more like building a little plane-model with unusual words. It’s slower, and a pleasure too.
- There’s a playing child pleasure into it.
- As it’s not my “tongue”, I feel really more chilled out when I write here.
- Therefore I can focus on my little tools, not “How to say that in French properly”.
- I invent words with a smile.
- I make mistakes on purpose… with a smile.
- I know and feel that I miss something, and I have to ignore it, and let go.
- I can speak English, but I’m also quite lost in it. I explore, then.
- I learn constantly about American culture, just by watching the way this language expresses things.
- Idioms are different, and each time it’s like finding a jewel.
- It’s probably an exercise for “one day write in French”, with new eyes and muscles-of-the-brain gained from writing in another language.
- It can also be a way to voluntarily lose bad habits in my own language.
Beautiful books are always written in a sort of foreign language, said Marcel Proust. That’s a great seed for the mind, don’t you think? It’s about style. When I’ll “write back” in French, I’m sure I’ll be richer, then, because of my English exploration years…
Imagine a little bedroom would be called “bedroomette“, and a little hotel soap would be a “soapette“. A little suitcase would sound “suitcasette“. Would be cute, right?
This is what we do in France. A little soap (savon) is a savonnette, and fleurette is a little flower (fleur).
Of course, you can imagine that other words with a final “ette” sounds cute and small… with no need of a “non-ette” word. For example a dînette – small dishes for kids, and a buvette is a small place (along a beach or on a place) where you can have a drink.
We can also add “ette” to words, just to make them sound “so cute” and tiny for fun. Some cats are named Tigrette (little Tiger, of course).
French can use an English word to make another one : we often say “kitchenette” for… guess for what.
We alse can double the concept. A beard (une barbe) can become barbiche (small beard) and then une barbichette (tiny beard). Imagine a beardichette? Oui!
But… you have this in English too : a wavelet is a little wave, right?
Bonne journée ! Have a nice week end!