“My little wallet of enthusiams” : How to fight Anhedonia?

Jim Harrison says somewhere that with the years our “wallet of enthusiasms” becomes thinner.

Well, this speaks to everyone, right? From a truckload to a wheelbarrow (“une brouette”), then to a small briefcase, to a wallet, that’s it. At 50 you don’t jump around screaming in joy about whatever new comes to you, like at 20!

“The moment when things you do become absurd” is probably something I should wonder about more. A kind of “inverse epiphany”, the sudden WTF moment

There’s this moment when you watch in an awe the others keeping being happy and goat-jumping at anything new. Are you becoming just grey?

So I just learned about Anhedonia, reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure, and I think it’s about it.

There’s the good old temptation of getting “stoned”, or to being “entertained” until death, Netflix like, or trying weed or booze, or worse : become workaholically busy like a running headless chicken. Put a lit on enlarging boredom…

You can also FOCUS on your little wallet. Think about it : what makes you enthusiastic, the “like a kid” state? Art exploration? Creativity? Writing (about what?)?

Could one find a new thin paper, in their wallet? One activity you never tried?

Of course I feel this! Therefore what?

What puts me in the “happy child” state? I thought about it and found two things :

  1. Taking pictures, walking outside the-nose-in-the-wind.
  2. Exploring geniuses (I’m with Fellini and Schubert these days).

Someone told me recently (he’s a bit older than me) that he for now focuses on geniuses only. What would be YOUR list of geniuses?

Proust, Welles, Picasso?

These days I’m with two geniuses. Fellini for cinema, and Schubert for music. Both need organization and efforts.

  1. Fellini comes from realism to crazy surreal monster films. It’s complex, evolving, multi-layered, a whole exploration is needed to understand : films, bonuses, interviews, biography and many books. At THIS level on invention, it becomes almost toxic. It haunts you (like when you explore Proust, Mahler’s music or Manet’s paintings). And it’s so much fun too!
  2. Schubert is complicated : he died young, but composed many many musics, chamber music, piano and 9 symphonies! As usual, for a composer you don’t know, you have to listen to many things almost randomly – to discover if you’ll like it, to sponge it into your head. I bought books, a huge biography, and found my entry : the Great Symphony, his last, which obsesses me so much that I listen to different versions all day long. They I read pages of classical music fan forum (in French : http://classik.forumactif.com), smiling at all the passion people put into this…

Anhedonia’s here, but I fight, and it works! If you see me mimicking an orchestra director in front of my Macintosh : I’m good.

What’s next? What about you ?

A field you don’t know, and you’ll explore it. What is it? A language? A painter? A country? An author? Who?

Thanks for reading!

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Not “Evil vs Good”, but “Chaos vs Order”

Many mainstream movies have this pattern : “Evil vs Good”, and a good villain is funny, right?

Today I’ll play a cross-game with another pattern : “Chaos vs Order”.

It can be similar : “Evil brings Chaos, and Good brings back Order”.

But of course you’re like me, sensing, that the contrary is true, and probably more interesting…

Evil = Order, like the First Order in Star Wars, and the perfectly aligned Nazis army.

Order means “every rule obeyed”, and that’s a bit 1984…

Yesterday I watched “A little Chaos“, a charming little film (directed by Alan Rickman!) : chaos brought by an inventing gardener hired by Le Nôtre – while Louis XIV was building Versailles, in France.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Little_Chaos

“Something uniquely French”? Order, but with a little chaos, or a casualness, maybe a slice of disobedience (to the rules), effortless elegance, imperfections embrace. Yeah, that’s the Parisian Elegance…

 

Well, I have this in mind since I saw “perfect gardens” – my brain was craving for fantasy! There’s a wiki for https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_garden_types –

 

Well, is it an article? Beginning with cinema, then France, then gardening? In what other fields of the human activities do we have to find our own frontier, balance, between chaos and order? In rocket science, 100% order, right? Art of Battle : 80%? What is discipline? What and where is invention? Can we have both at the same time? Differences of nature, quantity, places?

Have a nice day!

 

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Sharing space but nothing else

First I found this painting from Belmiro de Almeida (how, why, I don’t remember).

Wondered about what happened in this couple. She cries or at least is weighed down, but by what? And this man is smoking, thinking, probably powerless/helpless, but who knows? Maybe he’s angry? “Here we go again…”.

Is it a break up, a betrayal, jealousy, boredom, romantic disappointment?

Maybe like in Chekhov, it’s just some tears, because of the “something’s lacking in my life” syndrome?

My researches showed me the second painting : a crying woman, a “vacant look” man, and flowers on the ground. Mhhh, who copied the other?

Then I thought about Hopper, of course, with no tears but only a… moment.

I remember that some (female) friends of mine told me many times than their guy “wasn’t really talkative”.

Thus I remembered the “bored couples” series, photographed by Martin Parr – who is a love because he includes himself in the series (he is on two photos of the four I found for you). Parr showed many times he’s a part of what he sees…

 

So is it even an article? No I don’t think so! I cobbled these together :

  1. To remember I should find more paintings on this topic (I tried and failed today)
  2. To think about the idea I found in the Parr link : monogamy is maybe dumb
  3. To remember that my lady likes my random lectures (I’m a chatterbox)
  4. To go on liking the “what happens here?” in Arts
  5. What if a man was crying, and a woman sitting aside, indifferent?
  6. To remember I have to take care of my partner, even if she’s a real “handful”
  7. To pass it on to you : what ideas did you get, reading this?

 

Take care! Have a nice day!

JP

 

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Bored Couples on Display in Public Places

That on top & Lavender Blues : Chronicle 26

One day I found a lavender sprig, un brin de lavande, in a book of… 1878.

I’m a book sniffer, I’m sorry. People mock me! I open’em and I smell. I have plenty of old books. They have “this” smell. Delicious. When I eBaybuy a pile of old Charlie Brown comics, I open one and hmmm – American seventies…

But one day I opened a 1796 book. It had another smell. VERY different. I was… astonished. Like a “Heyyy wait a second” second in a deeper past…

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One day, someone asked him/her why he/she never travelled : “What for? I’m arrived already!”.

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Are bored people boring?

 

 

There’s one terrible little pattern to study :

the sudden appearance of a nuisance in the middle of an already tiresome situation

The “That’s all I needed!” state. That on top.

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Sarah Bernhardt in 1876 :

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Bernhardt

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There’s a proverb, somewhere, saying :

“To obey an order without carrying it out”

Oh I like it!

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Montherlant says that traveling is useful. If draws on the map… places you don’t want to go any more…

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Passion

Versus boredom, bored homme, injection : Passion! Bzt!

We can imagine that what enthrals us is linked to a childhood state. If you were turning over rocks in a delightful loneliness as a kid, then as an adult now, you like to be alone at times. You DWON’T need to have the TV on all day long because you’re unable to stay with yourself for more than 10 seconds (the “I need my phone to pee” type).

There are so many types! You love to read, to watch horror movies, to build, to think, to organize, to clean, to take care of people, to hunt, to buy things, to pray, to share, to teach.

Your field is a big pacifier, linked to your childhood. Well, that’s my theory!

If I’m bored, I am as lost as a baby at night in a lonely bedroom : I lost my pacifier. It’s not cool.

Worse : if you’re a bored person, it’s a forever no-pacifier state. Alcohol will NOT do the thing. You can buy fast cars, though, they are cool.

You can also read : 

 

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Berg maybe said :

The best magic always results from ecstasies of logic.

Hmm? What do you think?

 

 

Not Doing Something That Nobody Ever Thought of Not Doing It

 

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Thanks for reading! Have a nice day!

 

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Wishes, Willpower, Drive : the “I want to eat the world” state

The “I want to eat the world” state is a strange disease. I think we all cross this state at different parts of our life :

  • When you’re a teen.
  • When you’re about 20 years old.
  • When you really fall in love for the first time.
  • When you ineffectively want to express something through art or writing.
  • In midlife crisis after you watched your life and said “Now what?”.
  • Under intense boredom.

You feel FILLED of energy, wishes, willpower, drive, but there’s also a huge frustration.

This frustration comes from a powerlessness, an incapacity to find a way to unfoldblossom this strength. You want to eat the world, but how?

Because :

  • You have the drive but not the purpose or the goal.
  • You have the drive but not strength enough (or any more).
  • You have the drive but you’re stuck in the cages of your own life.
  • You don’t have enough time, or money, or anything : you lack.
  • You never find where to apply this energy.
  • Everything you try fails.
  • Your heart is burnt to the ground and your tired.
  • You feel you’d need some help, but you get zero.
  • I boils inside without any apparent way out for this steam.

So what now what? Well, nothing! Either you find, or not. Try ways to explore, to steampipework something. Begin things and watch. Ask around you. Invent goals for this energy.

If it fails, well, just watch and feel it boiling inside. That’s the acceptorian oriental way…

Thanks for reading!

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Instagram : bodylanguage

 

 

 

 

How to go back to quiet silent daydreaming summers ?

When I was a teenager, let’s say in 1981, there were 3 channels on French TV (TF1, Antenne 2 et France 3). Music was on some LPs, and there was no Internet, no Pokemon Go, no cellphone. Some rare rich fathers had an Apple II. The Sinclair ZX-81 was just showing its nose…

Useless to say that when you got something “interesting” into your hands, it was amazing.

I remember that summer ! I was 15, and I got this Casio Programmable Calculator FX-702P, and I asked my parents to order a few L’Ordinateur de Poche, a magazine about these new “Pocket Computers”.

I read them, re-read them, tried every Basic program, and spent weeks trying to program a standard Battleship – not the game, just a way to “place the boats” (one the size of 4 squares, two 3 squares, three 2 squares and four 1 square – the submarines !). The memory of my Casio was too small so I had think about a way to optimize it (interlacing 2 loops, etc).

This summer I borrowed some LPs. The Blue Beatles sampler, with the lyrics, kept me busy for weeks.

I remember me as a kid watching clouds for hours in summers. La rêverie is a pretty good French word for daydreaming (we could say “dreamery”, right ?). Getting bored, at this time, at this age, was triggering imagination instead of Netflix…

Slumber or Torpor ? I think I didn’t find the good english word to translate our “torpeur”. When the sun is brûlant, days are long and quiet, tout est calme et you don’t have any mission or money to make/win. You watch clouds and just try to be happy. You play frisbee, you watch ants, you bike with friends. Les merveilleux nuages…

Lever : You really can find back this state. You just have to cut THREE things : TV, Smartphone, and Internet. Nothing much after all…

Then you will have to search in the old “real” world (books, things in attics, CDs and LPs). This provides a bouquet of another things : a slower focused brain rhythm, a hunger, a desire to create maybe, some imagination, some creativity.

It can also trigger a big boredom too. Well… C’est la vie !

 

#casio #vintage #fx702p #calculator
#casio #vintage #fx702p #calculator