Company Business Mode : “Grab the most you can, haphazardly”

When you head a business, you have many modes. Being cautious, aggressive, fast or thrifty – it could be artificial and funny to list them.

For example we could study the “Fast & Small Unit” mode. Imagine there’s a snow storm in Marseilles, South of France. It never happens, so the whole city is disorganized. A guy working in a garage takes a huge truck, buys hundreds of snow-tires kits, parks it at one entrance of the city with a billboard, and makes a fortune in one day.

Today I study the “Grab the most you can, haphazardly” mode.

Imagine you own a toy store. As it’s trendy, you decide to sell LPs, vinyls, big quantities, big money. Yeyyy!

On the whole, you have two ways :

  1. Build an annex, hire three or four music fans to buy, organize, present and sell your vinyls and make big money, becoming the great place to be to buy records.
  2. Build nothing, hire nobody, order tons of random vinyls, put them in heaps in corners or in the middle of toys, command your toys specialists to take care of all of it, and grab the most money you can, haphazardly.

It’s funny to watch the consequences of 2 :

  • Your team will be exhausted.
  • Stressed by questions they don’t have the answer to (they know how to sell toys, but they are not record dealers).
  • Your assortment is wrong (“someone” bought the LPs for you and doesn’t know who your customers are and need).
  • Your clientele will be furious (it’s badly organized and the employees know nothing).
  • Your toys turnover will be dipped in many ways (your store is in chaos, you lack place of toys, your employees are in burn out and don’t have time to do their work properly, etc).

But well : you’ll sell vinyls now, right?

You see what you win, but you don’t realized (or don’t want to) what you lose. What are the consequences? How is it inelegant/uncouth? Looter or capitalist scavenger? Why this fear of doing things properly? How to act within this Universe? Who shall wash the dishes?

Who makes more money in the end? 1 or 2?

– Hey Mister Lego, in which Lou Reed album he sings tululuuuuuu?

Thanks for reading!

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Organizing Withdrawal

Seeing to Finesse amid Chaos

The “Titanic Octet” state : stop panicking & arrange twinkles

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N/N-1 Business Bullshittery

ONE

Evaluation based on numbers is a bullshite minefield. Each steps spurts numbers, statistics, calculations.

Which mean nothing but bring managers the illusion of mastery.

Digits Masters Detrimentors

TWO

The N-1 bullshite is one of most simple bullshite poo of the business world.

“Last year you made 100 – this year you make 90 : you have obviously a problem, come to my office”

But :

  1. Contingency : Maybe last year you got an unexpected big order from another company, and without this order you would have made 60, therefore you’re doing great today, but it’s hidden in numbers
  2. Market’s vagary : Maybe the “hit” you got last year is postponed this year for the month after, therefore you’ll hit the roof in a month
  3. Thus, prepare to have a “problem” next year, because of the N-1 bullshite
  4. Non significant : Maybe the “analyzed” field is too little : for example you sold 4 staplers in August 1976 and 3 in August 1977 so you’re at -25% – maybe you’ll sell 5 in a year and you’ll be great (and you become an “erratic employee”)
  5. Events : “Your stock is too high this year (+35%!)” but there’s a reason your manager ignore (there’s a big event in two weeks and you’ll sell every single piece)
  6. Not mastering the whole world : Maybe you’re at +135% but there was a shortage last year and it did not depend on you
  7. Purpose : You have a shitty manager, so you make everything possible to get him bad number-indicators… but do a great job out of numbers.
  8. Lazy colleagues : you’re alone mixed up with a team.
  9. Reality hidden by numbers : a lazy guy on a trendy field has good N/N-1 with a lousy attitude which spoils the company’s reputation (get +35% but could have made +60% with a better work), and a great team on a transitioning market gets lukewarm N/N-1 but does a great job for the company, and prepares a bright future for business.

 

Do you have any ideas I could add to this list?

THREE

Numbers are an illusion. They “show” a simple reality, most of the time completely out of the real world, which is moving, multiplugged, complex, and human. Numbers and percentages hide things. They lower your comprehension of what happens.

Talking to people is better. Being smart too. Let % flow around idiots. Have fun.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

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Beware! Bigwigs are visiting!

CEOs and other bigwigs visit one local office, a local store.

They are surrounded by the local chiefs and managers, like butterflies around a lamp in the night, who laugh too hard to the Big Chieves jokes…

Right? See it?

But of course, the bigwigs warned they will make an appearance. The “important visit by the important heads” was scheduled weeks before!

Thus, for and since days, everything has been hidden, fixed, changed, modelled… to please the elephants.

Finally, the place visited by the pointy shoed top managers and their staff has NOTHING to see with the “real place”. It’s now like a decor.

More : bigwigs talk only with local bigwigs. It’s almost a rule. Emperor not talk to proles and plebs!

 

TOOL :

If you were a smart BigWig, you would/should :

  1. NEVER warn you’ll visit your stores and offices – Surprise!
  2. TALK to common people, longly, in private, without any managers around

 

That’s all, folks! That simple! This is a double simple way to know what’s really happening there…

But do you want to know? Or do you like the fake “as if” masked game everybody’s playing around you?

 

Thanks for reading!

 

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