Ohmylanta ! Bad #management ideas

Here are a few bad management ideas to apply if you want your team exhausted, potatosad, ineffective or bored :

  • Bossy Tinpot Dictators are the worst pain in the ass ever. One could wonder how they just find the drive to “be” that Type.
  • Delation based reports is a plague. You just pick up the worse idiots in your team and give them a little cap. Have your favorites to do this.
  • Micromanagement is exhausting. Just keep check on people and give little orders about their job (where they don’t need you at all).
  • Incompetence or cruelty? Make you team wonder if your strategy is based on one or the other…
  • Give orders without explanations, even if you know that your employees will wonder why you need this.
  • Don’t ask your team what they think how things should be done.
  • Make your team lose their time (for example to fix your mistakes).
  • Give paradoxal orders (a command that would undo the other one).
  • Suspicion : just show your team you mistrust everything they do for the job.
  • Procrastination is great. Just hope the problems will be fixed by magic. Answer it’s “not the moment to talk about it”.
  • Invent useless rules. Watch people struggle.
  • Be unreliable. Say A to Bill and B to Bob. Decide randomly in the end.

 

Tool : 

A team is a clock, an engine. There are two types of managers. You can put a little oil here and there, from time to time, and let people work. They all know their job. Or you can add sand.

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Instagram : marisharasikoskinen

 

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Managing Layers, Empathy Ways & Adaptation Paths

Wandering into this…

I work in a store. I have to deal with : managers, colleagues, customers. If you’re a principal in a school, you deal with : teachers & special educators, students, parents (a gardener deals with flowers – a client from time to time. Some days, I’d like to be this guy)…

I talked with a speech therapist one day, and we agreed on this : when you work with a lot of humans, you acquire an instinct, a very fast ability to adapt and adjust your communication ways to the others, your interlocutors.

Thus I really feel I have the head up display like in the Terminator red screen : when the robot meets someone, he’s computing, sorting, labelling what he sees, in real time. Tut criip tut tuuut!…

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If today, at work, you meet someone you already know (a kid, a colleague, a chief), you’re fast inside because you have your labels ready, a bunch of stickers, it is. Then your sensors refines and adapts : what’s the mood here and is there something new to know? All this while your talking about the weather – right?

The purpose is not to terminate the person, but to adapt. It leads to a question about empathy : you empath, do you think or do you feel? Both? Of course both!

I posted an article about INTJ or INFJ in a forum, asking if the T (thinking) and F (feeling) are not, in fact, a braid, and I got attacked there by people who REALLY like their boxes and said I “did not understand”. Like in USSR in the old time, I probably needed to be re-educated.

So we work with groups (students/teachers/parents), we connect with individuals, we juggle with labels and realness, reality, we tango between instincts and analysis. Computing big data inside!

One day we are skilled enough to laugh when we learn that there are books about mentalism or “gestures analysis”. “Methods”. As if when someone crosses his legs to feel comfortable was a “sign of closure”! OMG.

Of course there’s a need of books! A few hundreds could be a beginning. Anthropology, Philosophy, Psychology…

And years of life.

Then, when you talk with your lover, you know he/she has an idea in her mind, a worry, a concern, anything. There, it’s not analysis, it’s instinct. And you effing WATCH your partner, from the inside, not as a pilot (you don’t decide this), you just notice anything : her eyes, a way of breathing, a microseconding hesitation in a phrase. You say : “What’s happening, dear?”. She’ll maybe answer :

– Aweee… How do you know?

OK. INFJ. Maybe…

 

Thanks for reading! Comment if you feel like you want to add something…

Have a nice day!

 

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Instagram : _bodylanguage_

 

 

 

 

Big Statements & Science of Bullshittery

Big Talkey, Little Doey

We all have a friend, this friend, promising after a drinking night, from a hangovering moody mouth : “I will never drink anymore”.

Yeah yeah yeah…

Hearing “big statements” is sometimes a little embarrassing.

What do you answer to “I never lie”, or “my couple is perfect”, or “I will love him forever”? Nothing : you just… nod in agreement, right?

 

What does it mean? What does it say? What does it show? 

The Science of Bullshittery should be written!

You have to study the bigstatementers, but also their audience.

“I stop smoking tomorrow” leaves the audience in a skeptical mood. “I’m writing a novel” goes the same – writers rarely say to anyone who would listen that they’re writing a book. They just write…

Sadder : when someone says : “I live a happy life”. You’re like “Oh, come on… Why would one NEED to proclaim that?”. We all know that we all struggle at times, and that we are happy sometimes, too. There’s no need for bigstatementery here, unless you…

 

Thus, hearing Big Statements invites you to think. Maybe you have to do as if you were believing them. Maybe you should show empathy and ask for subtleties. Maybe just say : “Let’s talk about it”. Being sarcastic doesn’t help. It rarely does.

In A Matter of Lever, two years ago, I quoted J. L. Borges (well, I tried to English translate it), who summarizes all of it this way :

 

Not the simplicity, which is senseless, but secret and modest complexity

 

Well, that’s it!

Oh. Efff. Isn’t it a Big Statement? Awweeee…

Have a nice day!

 

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Instagram : _bodylanguage_

 

 

 

“He said this I said that” are conversation thieves, but well…

At work. Lunch time. You hear people telling things…

“He said this, then I answered that, and then he said…”. Etc.

The interlocutor nods in agreement – she/he HAS TO, right?

Because the “He said this I said that” person is a little excited by her/his report.

I don’t know exactly why, but it’s not a good sign. “He said this I said that” guys and girls are a bit boring, right? They are like… conversation thieves.

They blow their own trumpet, they’re all that.

Interlocutor? Nod please, because they need to blow it. I mean : the trumpet. They say :

– I’m great, right? I’m strong! I don’t let myself pushed around, right?

Yes! Say yes! Because… they really don’t expect you to say “No, because”!

Therefore, it’s like a game. A play. One is making as if he’s strong. Two is making as if he agrees. And we all know why people play this game : because after a moment, it’s the other’s turn. Other way round. “As for me” time.

In a way, it’s like liking someone’s happiness selfie, right?

…wounded egos has to say it…

 

A long time ago I read in a forum a woman contribution, she was angry, saying that us guys were talking about things (my guns, my knife, my car), and girls were talking about people (she said, he said). She was obviously craving conversations about ideas. But found no one. It’s a slightly very little spoonish schematic, but, well, it said something…

 

Have a nice day!

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The “he must have the feeling HE had the idea” Type

He must have the feeling HE had the idea…

We all met this Type, right? It can be in couple, family, or at work.

So if you have a good idea, tell it to him and wait. If he stays silent, it’s perfect. The idea, like a seed, will go deep in his brain, then one day will come back at the surface, like “Heyy what if we do this?”. His idea. Bingo!

There is a diminished or a cousin syndrome of this Type. If you ask a direct question, a proposition, he won’t answer, or he will answer no. “Let’s go the beach”, or “Let’s have a walk” : NO.

The solution is to ask your question, then shut up and do something else in your corner. Maybe eventually he will come back to you and say “What did you want to do? A walk? Let’s go!”.

What do these Types need in front of them?

  1. If you have normal communication skills, you’re done, you’ll become an annoying enemy who pressure him.
  2. If you understood what’s happening you just follow these little recipes : he must have the feeling to decide everything, he must have the feeling he had the idea.
  3. The best Type you can be in front of this Type is to have no idea, no proposition : just follow and everything will be fine. It’s perfect : just say yes, all the time.

 

Need a label? Narcissistic personality? Control freak? Who knows…

It triggers some questions about 1/2/3, too :

  1. How does he fight back, against direct proposition or idea? Why, in fact? Does it come from childhood? Why a equal-equal conversation would lead to argument?
  2. What’s happening when he understands that he’s been manipulated all along (like when a kid doesn’t want to do something and you say “You won’t dare”)? How to get out of this trap?
  3. There’s a tension growing inside him in front of an obedient partner. Because like everyone of us we like and we probably NEED to be confronted with real propositions. The absence of that can make him spinning around, in need of an impulse…

 

Sorry for my bad English. Have a nice day!

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Instagram : steph__wi_-__lonely_houses__by__sejkko

“Faire bonne figure” is the French “Put a brave face on it”

Look contented, look happy, when you’re pretty disturbed inside, that’s “Faire bonne figure”, you put a brave face on your face. Watching this concept gives you a dashboard, an instrument panel :

  • It’s a matter of politeness, first.
  • You don’t want to embarrass the others.
  • You don’t want to appear as a fool, either!
  • Yes, it’s a mask.
  • Somewhere inside of you, there’s a pilot.
  • Trying to look natural is awkward.
  • Therefore you can speak too much, too loud, or be too quiet, etc.
  • Somewhere inside of you, you HOPE that the other side will guess.
  • Somewhere inside of you, you HOPE that the other side will stop.
  • Somewhere inside of you, you HOPE that the other side did not make on purpose to put you into this merdy situation.
  • Amor Fati!

 

Putting a brave face on you is exhausting. It charges you in dark energy : Don’t mess too much with someone who’s been in this state…

 

Thanks for reading!

I’m perfectly OK

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Instagram : itspeteski

 

Drawn up Ping Pong : Slow Motion Conversation

This evening I talked for 10 minutes with a photographer. He’s interested in the concept of “perception” in Arts. What do people see? What is to be an artist? How to surprise the audience? To make “beauty”? What is a good picture? How to avoid people to drain into assessments, in Art? What is to be anecdotal? Questions and concepts were like a firework. It was GOOD.

I left this guy, riding my bike, with a smile on my face. He had the same smile. This smile said : “I shared ideas with an interesting person”. It’s almost a relief, right? It’s good, because both of us found ideas into this conversation. We climbed.

When you find an intelligent conversationalist who likes to play “this” ping-pong with you, it gives you a smiling string, an energy, all day long. You now have an interlocutor, a conversation partner. At least!!!!

Jubilation, it’s the word.

OK. Next step now. Imagine one found another.

We can talk in many ways. In real time, man to man, or with Skype. We can text. We can talk/collaborate, write articles, a book. There are many ways to live a conversation-bond.

When you find a “mate” like this, you can struggle for years before you find the right way to communicate. You have to find a pace, too. It’s sometimes difficult to find it but you insist, because you know there’s something.

Maybe you have to slow down? Shut off everything and go to snail paper mail, or “twice a month email”. Etc. Meta-talk about it, it’s interesting! Why?

If you’re fast : text. If you’re near : have a glass of wine and talk for hours. If you need quiet : email.

I like emails. It’s quiet, slow, you can read, re-read, make it grow, garnish, then read over, then again, before you SEND. You can perfectly invent an agreement with your mate : “Don’t write before you get my answer” (which is great : you can decide to stop this for months if you feel like it), or “Two emails a month”. Invent yours!

In our times of speedy communications, everything quiet, drawn up and slow is seen like a treasure. “Keep pace with” because it’s worth it. Slow it down, underwater. Make each sparkle a gold nugget.

What do you think? Who wants to try?

Thanks for reading! Merci !

My Morning