Wealthy Valet

A few days ago I talked with an aged funny married couple, who explained that they have two divorced daughters, in their thirties, complaining that they don’t find any suitable guy to date.

Both told me something like : “OK, the guy must be : handsome, interesting, wealthy, great in bed, protective, obedient, kind-hearted, with feminine qualities, while giving them big space when then need it”.

“Where is my Prince?”

Then they finished by : “Well, my dear, this kind of wealthy valet doesn’t even exist!”.

Who knows, though? How to lower expectations in love or marriage? What kind of doors/choices are dancing here? Can we cross out some qualities in the list? Why? What if the wealthy valet type says “No”? Why would men be frightened by such a program?

By the way, is “to make do” really a verb?? (question from the French). I found :

“We’re striving to make do with less”.

Bonne journée !


The Propensity of Things

Your task is not to foresee the future, but to enable it.
L’avenir, tu n’as point à le prévoir mais à le permettre.


A propensity to do something is a natural tendency to behave in a particular way, to move in a particular direction.

This is a Chinese tool I found in a François Jullien’s book. You won’t read any, so I offer it to you.

First, let’s talk about Goals and Efficiency.

A Goal is an altered state of reality, probably a better one, you wanna reach. Well you hope to achieve this !

Then you PUSH towards the goal – the American Way probably – because you wanna reach it, silly. It’s a task ! Being able to do that is called Efficiency.

This is the typical way to live in Occident. If you make war, if you flirt with your date, if you write a poem, this is what you do : you PUSH towards your goal, right ? Efficiency is : win the battle, kiss the girl, impress the reader.

In China, instead of pushing like bulls, they do something else. They use the propensity of things.

Which is totally different.

You watch your goal, then you forget it, you don’t care, you don’t PUSH.

You watch what you have now, here. HERE. Then you watch the propensity of things, the natural tendencies they have to move. If it’s in the good direction, then, in the appropriate moment, you just turn little things, open little doors. The energy of propensity works alone. It’s an inner energy. Just watch it moving ! Towards… yeah…

Tool : This tool makes you think. Makes you think about how heavy and loud we are. We “want”. So there : China’s Art of War is really different than Napoleo’s. You can just spend some time with your crush and dance with what you see, instead of acting like a fake alpha-male puppet. You can try subtilities and complexity in your poetry, instead of playing the smartassy poet with idiot metaphors.