“I’ve never said that!”

There are dozens of articles about manipulators, but I loved this one :

http://iheartintelligence.com/2017/08/23/end-emotionally-draining-relationship/

The author lists 4 signs, which are :

  1. Twist what you’ve said in their favor
  2. “I never said that!”
  3. Play the victim
  4. Belittle all of your problems

It’s a great article, and today I focus on 2.

“I’ve never said that!”

When you hear it from a person you love, you immediately fall from horse. Then you wonder what’s happening…

  • Why so much bad faith?
  • Are you victim of hallucinations?
  • Why does he/she lie?
  • Maybe he/she really forgot?
  • You’re emotionally manipulated then : what for?
  • To get something?

Then you hear :

  • “You got me wrong”
  • “You’re too serious”
  • “You invent stories”
  • “You try to manipulate me”
  • “I was joking”
  • “You expect too much”
  • “You’re always complaining”

 

Well, etc. You are a prey, that’s it. You’re confused, and that’s the purpose of it…

“They will convince you you are just inventing problems. That you are seeking to find them.That you are ungrateful. You are weak. You are stressing them out. You are just not good with finding solutions. You focus so much on the bad. You exaggerate. And so on.”

 

The manipulator will always accuse you of what he/she’s doing. You’re dramatic. You use him/her to entertain. They have “trust issues” exactly when you shouldn’t trust them. Etc.

 

As you’re intelligent, you notice all this, your “knowledge of the other” is growing and you begin to pack your ideas in your mind to stay safe. But then, of course, the manipulator changes his/her face. Becomes a treasure again (although never sorry for what happened). You melt. You’re done.

If you’re married there is no solution. Find your own way to escape (hunting, biking, muscling, whatever) and try to explode in rage the less you can. Murdering your demon not good. Jail not good. Breathe.

 

Oh, to finish this. There’s only one thing to understand if you don’t already know it : they will NEVER accept they’re like that. It’s maybe the dark core of all manipulators – there is no cure, ever.

 

You can also read : Signs of Bad Signs : our shades of narcissism and Narration of cold sadism as low form of gaiety : a narcissistic tropism

Thanks for reading!

 

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Instagram : _bodylanguage_

 

Narration of cold sadism as low form of gaiety : a narcissistic tropism

I wrote thrice about this idea : it’s a bit too easy to put “mental disorders” labels on people :

I don’t mean you won’t meet any real wolves in the forest of people, but that’s not what I’m writing about here.

Merely, it’s some common sense to realize that :

  1. We have all “traits” of mental disorders, we have all, with different shades, a little of bipolarity, narcissism, schizophrenia, etc…
  2. This varies along the days, the weeks, the months, the years. We are never the same, we are not steady, we evolve, we react, and this is why labels will never work to know someone (but it’s OK to study a moment), it’s this concept : Haecceity.

 

I read a lot about narcissistic perversion personality, manipulative people who live on this pattern : finding a good person, seducing her (or him, but let’s call her a her), mentally make her crazy with paradoxical communication, then vampyring her – feeling joy over her perdition and destroyed life. Until the next prey.

If you want to know more, you can Google it, or read this thread in Quora.

I will write very soon about how they seduce their empathetic prey (there’s a trick about finding prey’s flaw). This article just describes how they FEED : seeing the other’s distress.

How they do it is too long too describe, but let’s say they use paradoxes :

At the start the pervert is evidently very cautious, he is smiling, supportive, attentive, an ideal partner! The victim falls under his charm. Later, first incidents arrive, hurting remarks, aggressive looks, unexpected or violent reaction. But after that quickly come pleasant moment when the pervert reacts as if nothing had ever happened, and the victim often asks herself if she did not dream up the unpleasant scenes…

When his victim is powerless, lost, disoriented, they hit, and then comes this huge feeling of joy. And they need a witness : this nasty joy has to be expressed :

“He’s so weak! I’ve been such a BITCH! I massively injured his pride! He’s like a mouse now. You should have heard what I told him. He was like : << what did I do? >>. HAHAHA”.

This is a real source of joy and comfort for this person. “I hurt him – that’s great – listen!”

Low form of gaiety, I told you!

Tools :

What do you do about this kind of person? What if you were a wolf? Write a short story about this disorder? Do you have examples? What are others low form of gaiety? What happens when (and after) you realize you have jubilation in harming people? What do you do if you’re 15% NPD, if you’re 30%? Why does every article I read about this say that the Narcissistic Personality Disorder persons will never, ever accept and understand he’s like that, and thus there’s no cure ever?

 

Thanks for reading!

This one is interesting :

http://unisoultheory.com/index.php/2016/11/27/empath-loves-narcissist/
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Signs of Bad Signs : our shades of narcissism

DSM (Manual of Mental Disorders) Labels are frightening. You read the list and you’ll find you have ALL disorders. You’re bipolar, antisocial, autistic and narcissistic, haha, and probably crazy enough to be locked away from society. All of us. All in prison, voilà.

You’ll probably agree that we have all at least a little percentage of every disorder, right?

Today I wonder if I’m not a narcissistic. And all of you in the same basket, so there!!

Wikipedia says :

“Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder (…) characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of understanding of others’ feelings.”

Well, we all need to have this, OK? Cut the “exaggerated” word and here we are : as long as I didn’t reach the oriental “no ego” state, I need to feel a spoon of self-importance to stay happy, I clearly seek approval in many moments of my life, and if I know I’m often too empathetic, there are moments I don’t get other people, their choices seem sooo weird at times…

So I’m 25% narcissistic, is that it, Doctor?

I googled and found terrible things on the web, from “happiness blogs” to therapists articles and I copy/pasted a few ladles of sentences for you.

Une “personnalité narcissique”, c’est terrible! I hope you’ll never meet this kind of person, they seem to be a MESS :

  • They want to be in control and if they can’t they are nasty and biting
  • Perfectionists : “you’re never good enough”
  • Put others down : nastiness as a sport – they have to win – “I’m better than you”
  • “You’re just……………” add here any definition. Labeling you.
  • Pedestal someone to hate someone else (hey, that’s tricky!)
  • Fear of love and other emotions, all of them are “drama”
  • “You have to change”
  • “When things go wrong between us, it’s always your fault”
  • Introverted narcissists : hypersensitive, defensive and anxious
  • “You don’t understand me”
  • Grandiose projects (which lead to crashes, dramas, failures)
  • Never really open (control!), they forbid themselves to be vulnerable
  • Seek appreciation, deserved admiration
  • Selfish
  • “Make some efforts”
  • Use others to entertain
  • Never wrong, never his fault, “externalize blame”
  • “You’re too sensitive” (a label, again : “YOU are”, never “I am”)
  • Use others to get stronger then trash them – “take advantage to people”
  • Accusing others of what they do (“She’s unstable, grandiose, she’s bipolar“)

Oh my. That’s worse than DSM! Run, boy, run!

Thanks for reading. It’s summer!

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