50 crisis is not 40 crisis. And some movies.

Happy new year (and decade)!

And sorry for my terrible English…

 

50 crisis is not 40 crisis. Tatata. We shouldn’t mix up these. This is not the same thing AT ALL.

(I know, age is just a number and a convention… But here’s my article though)

The middle age (or mid-life) crisis is a big one, it’s when you get 40. First of all, you feel you’re suddenly OLD (according to your youth’s criteriums). People around you divorce and make a big crisis, a depression, etc. You’ll buy books, it’s the midlife crisis, voilà.

The 50 years old crisis seems different, less dramatic, but in fact is maybe much more a big deal. It’s bigger. It gets deeper. It breaks much more things. Now you don’t laugh anymore (even sarcastically).

I played with the IMDB keyword to remember or discover some movies about this subject. After all, art often tells us things, right?

Mid-life crisis (40 years old), gives Midnight in Paris (Woody Allen) – “Life is a little unsatisfying”, driven by nostalgia, A Single Man (Tom Ford) around the idea of suicide after a loss, 8 1/2 (Federico Fellini) about a director who don’t have ideas anymore, Groundhog Day (“My job is so boring”). American Beauty (Sam Mendes) is pretty cruel, The Bridges of Madison County (Clint Eastwood) is around having an island in time (a few days) to break the grey. Then stay the memories. Sideways : travel and drink wine! The Big Chill : reunite with old friends and talk (when one of us dies). Hannah and Her Sisters (daring adultery). Pierrot le Fou (quitting everything and being crazy).

Crisis, boredom, marriage explosions. It’s classical, and the solutions (or at least : tries) are numerous : fleeing, daring, breaking, change…

 

50 years old crisis seems to give more intense crazy things (Birdman), drastic funny changes (Fried Green Tomatoes), wandering in absurdity & disillusions (Lost in Translation, Sofia Coppola), visit the past to remember its craziness (Broken Flowers), dealing with many problems (Wonder Boys), dramas & desperate fly away (Husbands), be surprised by an epiphany (Another Woman, Woody Allen), playing with destruction and suicide (The Arrangement, Kazan), talking about the emptiness & fail of everything (La Terrazza). Summer Wishes, Winter Dreams, Twice in a Lifetime…

 

Hugo said 40 is the youth becoming old, and 50 is the youth of the old age. Menopause for women doesn’t help, for sure!

What is it?

  1. Transition.
  2. Maybe harder if not much evolved in the past decades.
  3. A tendency to look at the past, instead of future.
  4. Absence of new projects.
  5. A feeling of emergency.
  6. Perturbations (loss, divorce).

 

Movies are interesting because they show what people try to do. From entertainment (buying a big car, trying new sports) to depression, suicide, love, waiting, traveling, breaking patterns, talking, finding sidekicks…

Somes ideas? Other movies? At fifty, will you roar, think or cry?

 

Voilà! I’m 53. It’s 2020. Merry Happy New Year!

Thanks for reading!

Marcello-Mastroianni-min

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coming back, enriched

This is not much of an article, but you know me : when I have a pattern in mind, a little tool or the piece of a map, I have to write about it.

My pattern here is about someone who comes back, enriched.

Enriched with experience, of course…

  1. You have a restaurant and your cook partner goes to France for a YEAR. He learned things, because when he comes back he’s different. He knows more things. He shows you. He has different ways…
  2. You lover quits you, it’s a real break-up. She met someone else… But it doesn’t really work, thus she’s back in your arms… with new caresses and techniques. You notice. Does she notice you noticed?
  3. A midwife quits your country to improve her skills in… India. What happens when she’s back?
  4. You’re a painting teacher, and you… etc…
  5. A son comes back home after he…
  6. In a company, a manager comes back with team after a month with the CEO…

See my pattern? You can draw overthinking mind-maps about this :

  • Do you have to go away to “come back”, of can you do it innerly? You’d have “enriched” by your researches, and “enriched” by the fact of being elsewhere…
  • Is it dangerous and where is it?
  • What about the noticement? You are suddenly and mysteriously enriched therefore others know something happened… somewhere else.
  • Can enrichment be disguised, hidden into a false impoverishment?
  • What is “resistance to change”, here, for both parts?
  • The change is always happening because we grow up, so is this article about a disruption? Like : Not “more” or “more intense”, but “more complex”, or “different”?
  • Why is this weaving comeback/enriched interesting? Why come back, after all? Enrichment elsewhere as steam to stay out and not coming back, ever. Enlightenment?
  • What’s the difference between this and “move forward/enriched”?
  • What are the risks and ways of failure, here?
  • Is the comeback a way to compare? To triumph?
  • What if the comebacker doesn’t realize how much it’s a big deal for whom discovers these squirting “new knowledge”?
  • Do you know other stories?
  • How to link this with “the return of the prodigal son” pattern?
  • What the fuck do we do with returners? Admire them? Be jealous? Kill them? Smack’em go away where you come from, idiot, them? Unnoticing politely their progress?

Thanks for reading!

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Ways of evolving

C’est très intéressant, l’idée du développement de l’enfant (see, you almost can read French!). Child development is interesting to study :

  • Physical growth
  • Motor
  • Cognitive/intellectual
  • Social-emotional
  • Language and communication

In fact, when you have a baby and you see his/her evolution, it’s really like you could notice the upgrades!

When we grow adult, there are phases when we develop too. Most of them are inevitable, linked to aging, divorce or bereavement. The loss puts you forward, to evolve.

But there are also more positive, inner development processes. Stages of life, meeting interesting personalities, love, new hobbies : we grow, even at 40, at 50, etc.

How to evolve? You can, like a tree :

  • Develop an aspect of yourself you already know, like growing a new branch on the tree.
  • Rotate, make a more complete change.
  • Invent a branch, or a root in the soil.
  • Displacement, like changing country.
  • Discover an atrophied part of you which needs care, a Face B.
  • Find your “big less“, find something you won’t do any more.

 

What does it mean? Can it be frightening? If you change too much, what about the system you live in (family)? What are the resistance to change (in you/outside)?

What will you do?

What are the verbs you need? Insist? Dare? Cut? Listen?

Thanks for reading!

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