Endearing so-called body flaws

There’s a delicious portrait documentary, Jane B. by Agnès V.

Jane Birkin (an English singer with a great career in France) was Serge Gainsbourg’s soulmate, and Agnès Varda, born in Belgium, was married with Jacques Demy, who directed The Umbrellas of Cherbourg…

In this adorable film, I was amazed by one dialog. The two women was questioning the fact that in a park, some beautiful statues had been defaced, damaged by some people. One of both then says : “It’s because body perfection is exhausting”. Maybe it was a way to make them more human, closer to us?

 

I’m not sure it’s a good theory, but it let a seed in my mind. Body perfection is boring, and everyone today knows it’s a terrible pressure (mostly for women) too. Medias, magazines, models, images : a perpetual bombing of lonnnng legs and perfect skin, blah blah blah.

 

I follow a great instagrammer, alex_cameron, an English photographer who makes pictures of splendid girls in splendid dresses in splendid decors. One day (October 3, 2017) she posted a selfie – which she does very rarely – in underwear, called “uncut”, the “unretouched me”. Read her text under the picture, it’s great!

 

We men all like to watch “perfect bodies”, of course, but we mostly fall in love with the “so-called” flaws. Our lover’s breasts are not enough this or too much that, same for your legs, your arms, your calves, your eyes, your mouth. So what?? Your body is… endearing! We want to hug you! We’re not perfect either, right? We fell in love with the whole you… There are no “flaws” : we love you as you are. Perfection is boring. Don’t change anything, OK?

Have a nice day!

 

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Instagram : clarapierotti

 

The Ravel’s Bolero Syndrome : when you know someone from ONE thing only

Some names are well known for only ONE work, one event, one place.

Dorothea Lange is well known for “this” picture only. Maurice Ravel is linked for ever to his Bolero. The city of Agra with the Taj Mahal. The Korgis have a great hit : “Everybody’s Got to Learn Sometime”. Where’s the rest?

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I call it The Ravel Syndrome. The structure is : “Something is known for ONE thing and the rest is globally ignored”. It’s not necessarily one work, it can be one domain : for example, Chekhov is very well know for his theater, and nobody knows his short stories.

This dial should lead us to take the wheel, think, and explore. Lange probably took other good pictures, Ravel composed a great Daphnis & Chloe and his concertos for piano are fantastic, Agra is full of great other places to visit. The Korgis, well, I don’t knowww (there are pages of lists of “One Hit Singers” on the web)…

There are two lessons to get from this :

  • This flaw could be called “Hit Laziness”. Let’s enter the house and discover the other rooms, why not try to see what the artist has behind his “hit”. Maybe treasures?
  • “Someone is known for ONE thing and the rest is globally ignored” can be very cruel. I think of Monica Lewinsky, which is probably a much more interesting person than this label you just put on her, in your mind. Hmmm?

 

Thanks for reading!

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Labels on Humans’ Multiplicity

When we meet someone, our brain try to find out “who” is this person. It’s maybe your new hairdresser, a new doctor you have to see, your future lover or a new colleague : you meet this human being and you immediatly begin to watch and analyse his or her personality.

Then, like a puzzle, you collect “words on stickers” you put on this person. Slow, shy, funny, anxious or whatever. Just take the sitcom Friends : Don’t you have words to stick to Monica, Joey or Phoebe ? See ?

This is OK and this is the way we all do. Monica is perfectionnist, competitive and obsessive-compulsive, Joey is… ahh you know all that, right ?

What stickers do you put on your… friends ? People have many facets. You discover them one by one… Flaws and Qualities, we are all a mess and a multiplicity. There’s a whole family in here ! Therefore, there’s an interesting set of dials to watch here. And some questions :

  • Can we be wrong when we put some stickers on someone ?
  • What happens when you watch someone drunk ? Or in danger ? Are the stickers useful then ? Are you able to remove them to find back your friend ?
  • What do you do when you realize someone’s in disguise ? Wears masks ?
  • Can someone hide some of dark personality traits ?
  • Surprises ? What if the stickers you chose for a person were wrong ?…
  • What about the stickers you “think” people put on you ?

About our dark sides, you can just click on this wiki : Shadow .

Dial : We all have good and bad personality traits. We have to fight our flaws, constantly, we make mistakes, we do what we can. You have to think about this when you put stickers on people you communicate with. Stickers are OK and funny to analyse a personality, but then, there’s a moment when you have to remove them and embrace contradictions and the complexity of us all… We are not made of words, but human beings…

You also have to watch closely people who list stickers on themselves. Maybe they’re right, maybe they hide something, maybe they… do what they can, too ! If your friend, one day, acts silly, it’s maybe the day to say : “Hey silly, what did you do ? Come here, I know you, and you’re not like that…”.

 

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