Refuse, Refute, Recuse : a game for conversation lovers…

This is a word game for seed lovers, conversation connoisseurs…

You’ll probably find this article vain, or useless. I offer it to word gold diggers only.

OK. Definitions :

  • To refute is to (or trying to) prove something is false or incorrect.
  • To recuse is an “act of intention” : it’s to affirm something is not true. It’s rejection, that’s all. It’s a “Nope”.

What I want to expose here is to remember that to refute is kind of serious. To recuse can be a game. You can recuse an idea, a statement… for fun. Or for the pleasure to examine the “other way”, the wrong one (why not) : just to see what can, could happen.

When I find a “smart quote”, I recuse it. I’m immediately searching for a way to say the contrary AND to show it’s true TOO.

A good conversationalist is a concept lover. Therefore, he or she is able to play that game. Pick an idea, recuse is. That’s all. Now you’re in front of an unknown territory.

Without music, life would be a mistake“, says Nietzsche. OK. But wait : NO!

The tool is : Find a person you want to play with, pick an idea which seems… obvious, and… recuse it! Say no! “Nope! It’s the contrary!”. Then, have fun. Talk about sex, love, art, war, business, everything anything. Have fun, and send me a kiss.

Bonne journée ! Have a nice day!

Jean-Pascal

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Instagram : hornsarahberlin

The French “Qu’est-ce que tu deviens ?” is our way to ask “What have you been up to?”…

When you meet a friend, you can say “What’s up?”.

It’s clear and simple for a French, with the fascination we have for English’s conciseness : what is “up”, after all? ūüôā

I think there’s a slightly different color in “What’s up with you?”, saying “What have you been up to?”, which is “How have you been busy these days?”. I’m good?

Well, we say in this case “What’s new?” : Quoi de neuf ?

After a long-time no-see, we often say : “Qu’est-ce que tu deviens ?“, which means “Who do you become?”, or “What are you turning into?“.

Yessss you see me coming, there’s a cultural difference here showing on the surface :

USA asks “What have you been up to?”, France asks “What are you turning into?”. One friend is asking about your actions, the other one is asking about your inner transformation. Isn’t it revealing? I don’t know, it makes me think, in any case…

 

Thanks for reading!

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Instagram : clairemahoney

“God will give it back to you”

This Sunday morning I was so… under, that I took my bag to – guess what – run some errands. You knowww… it keeps your mind and body a little busy. I’m aware it’s a low form of comfort, but we all do what we can, right?

I bought a bottle of Chardonnay, among little things I need home : tuna fish, tomatoes, coffee.

Was walking back home in the very quiet streets of La Madeleine when I overtook a VERY old lady, walking at snailspeed with the help of a metallic medical walker.

– “Hey mister?”, she asked. I stopped and of course answered her : “Do you need some help?”.

She showed me her untied shoe.

“Can you help me with that?”. Of course I agreed and we small talked while I was fixing it. Like : “I’m sorry to annoy you with that/Well, one day I’ll need it maybe too from someone else!”.

She was probably in her nineties. I felt her great and fast intelligence, completely slowed down by the age of her body. Sparkles in her eyes, in her smile. VERY smart, very old.

I imagined her at 17, vivacious and beautiful. I imagined her at 40, gorgeous and seeking the sense of love and life. She told me (with a winking smile) : “Dieu vous le rendra!” – “God will reward you”. The kind of phrase you get from a person who doesn’t believe in any God, but knows the deep meaning of that situation.

“Thank you”

She knew that I knew. I saw it in her eyes. We “clicked”.

 

I have a little tool for that :

Life IS short. Let’s find a way.

 

PS : “Dieu vous le rendra” is your “God will reward you”, so, OK. But if I rawtranslate it, you get “God will give it back to you”. It’s a bit different, right?

Oh, my, this needs a conversation. Again.

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Drawn up Ping Pong : Slow Motion Conversation

This evening I talked for 10 minutes with a photographer. He’s interested in the concept of “perception” in Arts. What do people see? What is to be an artist? How to surprise the audience? To make “beauty”? What is a good picture? How to avoid people to drain into assessments, in Art? What is to be anecdotal? Questions and concepts were like a firework. It was GOOD.

I left this guy, riding my bike, with a smile on my face. He had the same smile. This smile said : “I shared ideas with an interesting person”. It’s almost a relief, right? It’s good, because both of us found ideas into this conversation. We climbed.

When you find an intelligent conversationalist who likes to play “this” ping-pong with you, it gives you a smiling string, an energy, all day long. You now have an interlocutor, a conversation partner. At least!!!!

Jubilation, it’s the word.

OK. Next step now. Imagine one found another.

We can talk in many ways. In real time, man to man, or with Skype. We can text. We can talk/collaborate, write articles, a book. There are many ways to live a conversation-bond.

When you find a “mate” like this, you can struggle for years before you find the right way to communicate. You have to find a pace, too. It’s sometimes difficult to find it but you insist, because you know there’s something.

Maybe you have to slow down? Shut off everything and go to snail paper mail, or “twice a month email”. Etc. Meta-talk about it, it’s interesting! Why?

If you’re fast : text. If you’re near : have a glass of wine and talk for hours. If you need quiet : email.

I like emails. It’s quiet, slow, you can read, re-read, make it grow, garnish, then read over, then again, before you SEND. You can perfectly invent an agreement with your mate : “Don’t write before you get my answer” (which is great : you can decide to stop this for months if you feel like it), or “Two emails a month”. Invent yours!

In our times of speedy communications, everything quiet, drawn up and slow is seen like a treasure. “Keep pace with” because it’s worth it. Slow it down, underwater. Make each sparkle a gold nugget.

What do you think? Who wants to try?

Thanks for reading! Merci !

My Morning

 

All the Buoys! When you fell from your boat…

I had a friend, she said to me one day : “I fell from horse”. It was a metaphor, of course, and I liked it. You’re stopped, hurt, maybe wounded. You have to slow down, and wait for the moment you’ll go horseback back, haha.

Well, you can try other moving devices metaphors. If you fall from a boat, it’s like more dangerous. You could drown ! And drown your sorrows in the same time…

Yeah, you need a lifebuoy. How will you do that, and what kind of buoyancy (oh this word!) do you need, little soul?

Watch, remember and think. Watch people around you, watch your past, your parents, friends, colleagues, stars : what king of lifebuoy do they use when then fall from horse into the water? From boat, sorry. Or plane?

  • Some buoys are dangerous or horrible : alcoholism, madness,¬†pushing limits, drugs, workaholicness, hypercontrol (anorexia, orthorexia, religion).
  • Some buoys are… inner : Hope¬†can bring¬†some buoyancy¬†(hope for better times?). Mindfulness can work if you can breathe (and you don’t get asleep). Quietism is cool, if you can build that state. You can call it indifference, OK. You can try!
  • Some buoys don’t work, most of them : you’ll drown. Goodbye.
  • Some buoys work for a small amount of time : shopping, getting drunk, daydreaming about happiness (or imagined bliss), sex, dancing and music listening, voil√†.
  • My own buoy is to blog. I use what I see, what I read, to write. It helps me to organize my messbrain. It empties something. And it keeps me busy.

Keeping yourself busy is a good buoy. Finding a new domain to explore (learning a new language, a new art) or being creative (begin a blog, a novel, painting, photography?).

What will be YOUR buoy?

Friends are important.¬†Some of them are sweet and clever enough to “help you with your buoyancy”. One¬†knows how to be there, listens, avoids giving “advices” (“Smile, move on”, etc) and cares not to pierce your temporary, weak and thin buoy. One can¬†ask about it, how you found it, how you use it, how it is important for you…

Then you eventually could go back on horse with this helping hand.

And take your orange lifebuoy off you : you don’t need this on horseback, you silly French!

PS : What if your buoy becomes permanent?

Thanks for reading!

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Instagram : let_you_sea

Pointing out bond : “Come here! Look!”

There are so many possible bonds between two people. Friendship, marriage, siblings, parents, etc…

One string is made of this :

When you see something beautiful or interesting – a movie, something in the garden, a sky, a picture, a painting, a concept, a discovery, a dotless ladybug, a music, a struggle, an idea, etc…

You immediately think to this person (your friend, your husband, your soulmate, your sister), and you want to say : 

Viens voir ! Come! Look at this!

This is the best bond : when you want to show, share, point out.

It’s a surgerush, right? What does it show for yourself? What if the wisdom was not to?

Thanks for reading!

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Instagram : bodylanguage