Stormy night in France : Grumbling Tweets

We had storms for hours during the night, in North of France, a real crocodile line…

This morning I had fun watching the badly written angry French texts on Twitter. Grumbling against elements….

Here are some for you, for no reason. I added mistakes on purpose to translate the ones I found :

This, this is not a storm, it’s Thor who just came on Earth

It’s stormy everyday it’s not even funny any more

The storm he is a little to much angry there

The next one I hear he says “gnia gnia the storm I love it” I signal him

Thank you storm, thanks to you I spent a beautiful three hours night

Rain + storm this is all I hate, I sincerely think to put a man in my life

The storm in the light of day, yes. In the middle of the night : no.

He’s not kidding, the storm

Usually I don’t care about the storm but now it goes too far

I have Netflix and a storm, I lack arms and candies

I’m the only dumb who loves storm

I believe the storm he takes too much the confidence here however

It’s not a storm anymore these are earthquakes there

People who love storm it stays a mystery to me, it makes me I wanna die

I love when there’s a storm like that it appeases me too much

Hi today a storm AGAIN, with forest animals we’ve had enough we will have a manisfestation against the storm clouds. We’ll say “No the the storm clouds, yes to the luminous sun”. And we will block the Poudlard Express.

Storm, what a splendid weather to make love

 

Today we will have more. Twitter #orage.

Have a nice day! Be safe!

 

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Hicks lunch-mosquitoezing at work : What to do?

It’s lunch break.

You Introvert, I know you! You have your quiet spot to eat, right?…

Suddenly you hear what seems to be a one-man band screaming his joy, yelling in laughter, bringing a small group into noisy happiness. Hahaha!

Hicks.

  1. They are happy
  2. They are noisy
  3. They like pranks
  4. Rib-tickling funny stories they love
  5. They speak like “He said this – then I said that”, in loops
  6. They have big voices
  7. They love TV
  8. Laughing hard

You inner-facepalm while you have to eat, then you need strategies.

  1. Go out for a walk under the trees.
  2. Choose weird hours to eat in quiet.
  3. Read
  4. Mentally train yourself to close your ears
  5. Find another human-being to conversation with
  6. Earphones
  7. Acceptance Amor-Fati driven
  8. Wait for coffee breaks : they smoke (they always smoke)

You can quit, but that’s silly. Hicks are like mosquitoes. Everywhere.

Have a nice day!

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26 Worst Ways to Wake Up

Well, hi. I woke up with this title in head, therefore I had to write it…

Why 26? I don’t know, but I kept it, though there’s not 26 ways here. It’s like the traps on Facebook : “11 elements which proves you’re more intelligent”. Yeah yeah yeah.

You can add some in the comments!

The 26 Worst Ways to Wake up are :

  1. There’s no coffee anymore
  2. The cat puked everywhere in the house
  3. You had insomnia all night and you slept at least… ten minutes before your alarm buzzed
  4. You walk on and crush your glasses
  5. There’s a spider on your pillow
  6. You shower and go to work and when you’re there it’s your day off

 

 

Your turn!

 

Have a nice day!

 

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Refuse, Refute, Recuse : a game for conversation lovers…

This is a word game for seed lovers, conversation connoisseurs…

You’ll probably find this article vain, or useless. I offer it to word gold diggers only.

OK. Definitions :

  • To refute is to (or trying to) prove something is false or incorrect.
  • To recuse is an “act of intention” : it’s to affirm something is not true. It’s rejection, that’s all. It’s a “Nope”.

What I want to expose here is to remember that to refute is kind of serious. To recuse can be a game. You can recuse an idea, a statement… for fun. Or for the pleasure to examine the “other way”, the wrong one (why not) : just to see what can, could happen.

When I find a “smart quote”, I recuse it. I’m immediately searching for a way to say the contrary AND to show it’s true TOO.

A good conversationalist is a concept lover. Therefore, he or she is able to play that game. Pick an idea, recuse is. That’s all. Now you’re in front of an unknown territory.

Without music, life would be a mistake“, says Nietzsche. OK. But wait : NO!

The tool is : Find a person you want to play with, pick an idea which seems… obvious, and… recuse it! Say no! “Nope! It’s the contrary!”. Then, have fun. Talk about sex, love, art, war, business, everything anything. Have fun, and send me a kiss.

Bonne journée ! Have a nice day!

Jean-Pascal

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Merde alors ! : “Polite swear words?” – Some #ESL concerns…

Everyone in the world knows for good that, when you learn a language, the first things you want to know are bad words, insults and other blasphemies.

But you are in the merde if you want to swear… politely. Sometimes you have to! In front of kids in a class (“Oh dear”, “Oh my goodness”) or your grandparents, right?

Instead of saying “shit“, I heard one day Brian Eno saying “Shhhhite” (like realizing there was a cam, he had to finish his “shh” in another way). I liked shite!

One friend told me that kids could use “Oh snap” instead of it.

Today I googled a bit and found :

Son of a beach, mother trucker, or “Motherfather!” (haha), holy buckets (??). Ice hole. Shazbot. Dirty bear. Cheese and rice (instead of Jesus Christ). Sugarfoot. Upsy Daisy.
Shiznit. Chappaquiddick, etc, ohlalaaa.

“Get stuffed” instead of “fuck you”. I just found “up yours” : REALLY? That’s GREAT!

I love the simple and smart  “What the eff”.

“Rats!”.

One site advised to use Old Swearing Terms, like Fopdoodle or Zooterkins. And what’s “Crummidy Dum Dum”? Well, dear, I need some help here…

Bleep yourself : “I lost my bleeping pencil!”.

These pages :

 

Well, in France we sometimes use the Belgian ones…

Thanks for reading!

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Instagram : clara_ferreira_alves

By Jove ! GILES is a genius cartoonist

Giles was a cartoonist best known for his work for the British newspaper the Daily Express.

He drew mainly single but highly detailed panel, about British life.

I bought dozens of books in UK on ebay for nothing : he’s absolutely unknown outside of Great Britain because his “jokes” were often linked with British events. It’s now outdated, but what remains is so gorgeous that… I had to write about it. I’m thankful, in a way!

I admire him for his sense of space, light and scenery. There are often plenty of funny little details to look for. This gives you a special smile.

He invented a British family, and the star is “Grandma”.

I chose here three panels linked to bad weather. I love the three characters trying to hide from the cold wind in 1, the perspective and the wet road in 2, and the contrast of the guy sleeping and the rain outside in 3.

In a single drawing, you have a whole British mood. You will find plenty on Pinterest. Really, give it a try, watch his sense of image. This guy always knew where to put his camera…

Bloody rain! By Jove!

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8 little Concerns with no name

Le Baleinié is a French little book, a dictionnary of 454 INVENTED WORDS about “les tracas”, concerns and bothers and fusses. I offer some examples for you pleasure.

Azog : your right shoe laced up tighter than the left

Bahan : a simple word you always forget

Chouir : to act as if you didn’t get the splutter

Dadu : impolite noise the chair does when you sit on it

Miasliquer : to sit on your cat

Flomper : to gain pounds when after you stop smoking, and then keep the weight once you’re back on smoking

Grucinelle : space between you sock and the bottom of your trousers, in which an icy wind can blow

Igourie : the gift you have to “search first in the wrong pocket”

See? We have a whole book of these little concerns, in France.

Have fun!

#eyes #face #symetry #instagood

baleinie

Attack of the giggles at a funeral : End of Solemn

C’est son chapeau!

Yeaaah we’ve all been there, right? You’re in church, at a funeral. You noticed a really ridiculous hat on some old aunt’s head, then you eye-contact with your sister who saw that you saw. You’re done : you get the giggles (is this the correct way to say it?), you can not stop laughing. Go outside and burst, you silly both!

Beware, because it could happen to you in an important meeting!

Attack of the giggles has a purpose : it’s an urgent need to end solemnity.

It’s a dial, and the giggleneedle touches a red slice of it, you’re done. Dring!

It’s a tool :

You are maybe also a ridicule feathered hat owner, you know? Who could be giggling out about what you do, and why? Where are you arrogant, intensely solemn or ridiculous? Examine your so strong recent decisions… Mmhhh?

Thanks for reading!

#tomatoes

 

Opposite Course/Wrong Foot – Another type of Self Help “Be Happy!” Books

Almost all of these “Self Help” books tell the same thing : be strong, wake up early, don’t look in the past, find new goals, move forward, be mindful, accept the reality, be happy, smile, be positive, have hope, succeed, quit toxic people, surround with good energy friends, build very high expectations and reach your goals, love yourself, you’re perfect…

L’injonction au bonheur / Injunction to be happy, mhh?

I noticed, though, that the most interesting books tells us something else :

  1. It’s always more complex
  2. You are not perfect and you will never be and the path is complicated
  3. The contrary of these “injunctions” is probably true too

Voilà. It’s a game you can activate by yourself. Find the Opposite Course books. Or borrow the typical ones, and, just for fun, try to fight them.

  • Being weak is useful and slows you down from grey or wrong goals
  • Being positive “on demand” is just impossible because you have no cursor for that.
  • Quitting “toxic people” is not easy, and they are not as-toxic-as-that, it’s maybe a wrong opinion, and maybe they can help you in an oblique way.
  • If you expect too high you may just don’t reach it, and you’ll despair…
  • Etc.

Can you REALLY wake up and smile? Every single morning? Don’t you look like a freaky frog?

Allez! Have a nice splendid day!

 

 

 

The only thing you can count on, it’s the change

#change #changement #pattismith

 

 

 

“How did you dare?!” – Small Talks & Smaller Talks at work

Small talks at work, we all do that. At least we try : mini-gossips, weather complains, anecdotes, little booboos and week-end failures, right? It’s friendly!

But are you lucky enough to know a colleague who could do “smaller talks”, which are like wordwinks? I do. And that’s delightful.

She passes by and says to me very seriously, without any sight of slowing down :

“Certainly not!”

Then she’s gone.

Yeahhhh. You’ve been there, I hope! I often open my mouth, as expected, like very scandalized. That’s all. That’s enough.

One pleasure is to notice the slight wtf-embarrassment of other people.

And one another is to prepare a strict, mean revenge, for her appreciation. I could go beside her one hour later, and say with a strong belief :

“How did you dare??”

So there. Bim.

She’d frown and answer : “Because!”, then will push the cork : “HA!”. That’s all. After lunch, in the stairs, she’d add : “You had it coming!”. Ohhhh!

Well, you sometimes have to find your mate!

Thanks for reading! Bonne journée!

#symmetry #symmetry_art #abstraction #abstract #abstractart

This is the funny story or the #Wilhelm scream – #movies

In the fifties, a sound engineer recorded the sound of a screaming man and put it into the film he was working on. In a scene from the film, soldiers are lost in a swamp in the Everglades, and one of them is bitten and dragged underwater by an alligator.

“Aaaahhh!”. Well, here it is :

 

The guy filed the tape under the name : “Man getting bit by an alligator, and he screamed”. So there.

Years after, a sound designer called Ben Burtt put the sound into a Star Wars movie (on a falling Stormtrooper), in Indiana Jones also. Since then, other sound designers began to put it in movies, and it became a joke.

If you want to know more, Google “Wilhelm Scream”. You’ll find another scream, and some YouTube clips with the best use of it. Ain’t it perfect?

Thanks for reading!

Some examples?

 

 

Préciosité – a French #Language mess

Who were Les Précieuses? A few ladies in some salons, in the 17th Century, under the reign of Louis XIV, king of France.

What is it all about? A very affected way of using words, with some quirky metaphors and periphrasis, banishment of “bad words”, a strong will to be original and precious. An overstatement of elegance and exquisiteness…

Of course it sounded pretentious (Molière satirized the Précieuses in his play Les Précieuses ridicules.), but it’s funny to watch it today. And it can be tool to work with.

Examples : 

  • A hand : “moving beauty”
  • Teeth : “mouth furniture”
  • Of course the eyes became “the mirrors of the soul”

There’s a French Dictionary of preciousity here : http://www.miscellanees.com/s/somaize.htm

Consequences :

Some idioms, in France, come from this period. We say “un billet doux” (“a sweet note”) for a love letter, and “perdre son sérieux” (“to lose one’s seriousness”) when you begin to laugh!

Dial :

What are the territories, today, which will maybe considered as “Précieuse” in the future?

Tool :

It can be a very little but useful tool in a brainstorming session. Stop everything. Gather what you already got, and make it Précieuse.

A common sense says that “less is beautiful”. So what if “more is beautiful… in another way”?

What can you MAKE précieuse? Words, of course. Design? Objects? Art? Poetry?

Thanks for reading!
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Instagram : ___bodylanguage___

“A little bike in the coffee pot” : idioms about craziness

Let me present you two French idioms about craziness :

  • Il travaille du chapeau (he works from his hat)
  • Il a une araignée dans le plafond (He has a spider in the ceiling)

Both say the same of course. I found in english :

He has a screw loose (I love this one!), he has bats in his belfry, but also “go bananas” (more angry? Then we’d say “Il a fait un caca nerveux” : He made a nervous poo) or “Out to lunch” (which seems slightly different and both made me laugh for ten minutes, at least).

OK, we have more too in French :

  • Avoir les fils qui se touchent (his strings are touching each other)
  • Parler aux murs (he speaks to walls)
  • Il lui manque une case (he lacks one compartment)
  • Il a un pète au casque (he has a bump at the helmet)
  • Il est pas fini (he’s not finished)
  • Il a un petit vélo dans la cafetière (he has a little bike in the coffee pot).

Like it? Try this page in French. For example, Portuguese say “He has little monkeys in the attic”.

Well, there’s something weird upstairs, right? 🙂

Thanks for reading!

#dance #bw #farist