It’s lunch break.
You Introvert, I know you! You have your quiet spot to eat, right?…
Suddenly you hear what seems to be a one-man band screaming his joy, yelling in laughter, bringing a small group into noisy happiness. Hahaha!
- They are happy
- They are noisy
- They like pranks
- Rib-tickling funny stories they love
- They speak like “He said this – then I said that”, in loops
- They have big voices
- They love TV
- Laughing hard
You inner-facepalm while you have to eat, then you need strategies.
- Go out for a walk under the trees.
- Choose weird hours to eat in quiet.
- Mentally train yourself to close your ears
- Find another human-being to conversation with
- Acceptance Amor-Fati driven
- Wait for coffee breaks : they smoke (they always smoke)
You can quit, but that’s silly. Hicks are like mosquitoes. Everywhere.
Have a nice day!
Well, hi. I woke up with this title in head, therefore I had to write it…
Why 26? I don’t know, but I kept it, though there’s not 26 ways here. It’s like the traps on Facebook : “11 elements which proves you’re more intelligent”. Yeah yeah yeah.
You can add some in the comments!
The 26 Worst Ways to Wake up are :
- There’s no coffee anymore
- The cat puked everywhere in the house
- You had insomnia all night and you slept at least… ten minutes before your alarm buzzed
- You walk on and crush your glasses
- There’s a spider on your pillow
- You shower and go to work and when you’re there it’s your day off
Have a nice day!
Instagram : vzcomood
This is a word game for seed lovers, conversation connoisseurs…
You’ll probably find this article vain, or useless. I offer it to word gold diggers only.
OK. Definitions :
- To refute is to (or trying to) prove something is false or incorrect.
- To recuse is an “act of intention” : it’s to affirm something is not true. It’s rejection, that’s all. It’s a “Nope”.
What I want to expose here is to remember that to refute is kind of serious. To recuse can be a game. You can recuse an idea, a statement… for fun. Or for the pleasure to examine the “other way”, the wrong one (why not) : just to see what can, could happen.
When I find a “smart quote”, I recuse it. I’m immediately searching for a way to say the contrary AND to show it’s true TOO.
A good conversationalist is a concept lover. Therefore, he or she is able to play that game. Pick an idea, recuse is. That’s all. Now you’re in front of an unknown territory.
“Without music, life would be a mistake“, says Nietzsche. OK. But wait : NO!
The tool is : Find a person you want to play with, pick an idea which seems… obvious, and… recuse it! Say no! “Nope! It’s the contrary!”. Then, have fun. Talk about sex, love, art, war, business, everything anything. Have fun, and send me a kiss.
Bonne journée ! Have a nice day!
Instagram : hornsarahberlin
Everyone in the world knows for good that, when you learn a language, the first things you want to know are bad words, insults and other blasphemies.
But you are in the merde if you want to swear… politely. Sometimes you have to! In front of kids in a class (“Oh dear”, “Oh my goodness”) or your grandparents, right?
Instead of saying “shit“, I heard one day Brian Eno saying “Shhhhite” (like realizing there was a cam, he had to finish his “shh” in another way). I liked shite!
One friend told me that kids could use “Oh snap” instead of it.
Today I googled a bit and found :
Son of a beach, mother trucker, or “Motherfather!” (haha), holy buckets (??). Ice hole. Shazbot. Dirty bear. Cheese and rice (instead of Jesus Christ). Sugarfoot. Upsy Daisy.
Shiznit. Chappaquiddick, etc, ohlalaaa.
“Get stuffed” instead of “fuck you”. I just found “up yours” : REALLY? That’s GREAT!
I love the simple and smart “What the eff”.
One site advised to use Old Swearing Terms, like Fopdoodle or Zooterkins. And what’s “Crummidy Dum Dum”? Well, dear, I need some help here…
Bleep yourself : “I lost my bleeping pencil!”.
These pages :
Well, in France we sometimes use the Belgian ones…
Thanks for reading!
Instagram : clara_ferreira_alves
Giles was a cartoonist best known for his work for the British newspaper the Daily Express.
He drew mainly single but highly detailed panel, about British life.
I bought dozens of books in UK on ebay for nothing : he’s absolutely unknown outside of Great Britain because his “jokes” were often linked with British events. It’s now outdated, but what remains is so gorgeous that… I had to write about it. I’m thankful, in a way!
I admire him for his sense of space, light and scenery. There are often plenty of funny little details to look for. This gives you a special smile.
He invented a British family, and the star is “Grandma”.
I chose here three panels linked to bad weather. I love the three characters trying to hide from the cold wind in 1, the perspective and the wet road in 2, and the contrast of the guy sleeping and the rain outside in 3.
In a single drawing, you have a whole British mood. You will find plenty on Pinterest. Really, give it a try, watch his sense of image. This guy always knew where to put his camera…
Bloody rain! By Jove!
Le Baleinié is a French little book, a dictionnary of 454 INVENTED WORDS about “les tracas”, concerns and bothers and fusses. I offer some examples for you pleasure.
Azog : your right shoe laced up tighter than the left
Bahan : a simple word you always forget
Chouir : to act as if you didn’t get the splutter
Dadu : impolite noise the chair does when you sit on it
Miasliquer : to sit on your cat
Flomper : to gain pounds when after you stop smoking, and then keep the weight once you’re back on smoking
Grucinelle : space between you sock and the bottom of your trousers, in which an icy wind can blow
Igourie : the gift you have to “search first in the wrong pocket”
See? We have a whole book of these little concerns, in France.
C’est son chapeau!
Yeaaah we’ve all been there, right? You’re in church, at a funeral. You noticed a really ridiculous hat on some old aunt’s head, then you eye-contact with your sister who saw that you saw. You’re done : you get the giggles (is this the correct way to say it?), you can not stop laughing. Go outside and burst, you silly both!
Beware, because it could happen to you in an important meeting!
Attack of the giggles has a purpose : it’s an urgent need to end solemnity.
It’s a dial, and the giggleneedle touches a red slice of it, you’re done. Dring!
It’s a tool :
You are maybe also a ridicule feathered hat owner, you know? Who could be giggling out about what you do, and why? Where are you arrogant, intensely solemn or ridiculous? Examine your so strong recent decisions… Mmhhh?
Thanks for reading!