Decisions

Conversation today with a guy, about decisions.

Authors like Gladwell, TalebKahneman, come to the same idea :

When you have to take a decision, the good one is always the fast, unthought one.

Call it “instinct”, “intuition”, the result is the same.

Overthinking it, weighing pros & cons, asking others, etc : it’s not the good way.

It’s been studied for decades by many authors, who converge to the same idea : intuition is fast and effective, follow her path.

Some more esoteric authors like Chopra will talk about quantum physics, or about plugging to the Universe, it doesn’t matter : their books are full of these stories of quick decisions they had to take, following their fast instinct to encounter great persons or life changing situations.

The few authors I read say our brain work very fast, in seconds, under our conscience, with elements like experience, analogies, and yes : instinct.

I say this : getting older, I apply it more and more. Before a decision, I go fast, I don’t think that much. I know, and I go there.

But sometimes my old schemes win : and here I am undecided, with my mental drawing things… losing all the sense of it. That’s life!

Thanks for reading!

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When to NOT pay attention is an Art for decision making

Savoir Attendre – Know How to Wait

Managing Layers, Empathy Ways & Adaptation Paths

Wandering into this…

I work in a store. I have to deal with : managers, colleagues, customers. If you’re a principal in a school, you deal with : teachers & special educators, students, parents (a gardener deals with flowers – a client from time to time. Some days, I’d like to be this guy)…

I talked with a speech therapist one day, and we agreed on this : when you work with a lot of humans, you acquire an instinct, a very fast ability to adapt and adjust your communication ways to the others, your interlocutors.

Thus I really feel I have the head up display like in the Terminator red screen : when the robot meets someone, he’s computing, sorting, labelling what he sees, in real time. Tut criip tut tuuut!…

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If today, at work, you meet someone you already know (a kid, a colleague, a chief), you’re fast inside because you have your labels ready, a bunch of stickers, it is. Then your sensors refines and adapts : what’s the mood here and is there something new to know? All this while your talking about the weather – right?

The purpose is not to terminate the person, but to adapt. It leads to a question about empathy : you empath, do you think or do you feel? Both? Of course both!

I posted an article about INTJ or INFJ in a forum, asking if the T (thinking) and F (feeling) are not, in fact, a braid, and I got attacked there by people who REALLY like their boxes and said I “did not understand”. Like in USSR in the old time, I probably needed to be re-educated.

So we work with groups (students/teachers/parents), we connect with individuals, we juggle with labels and realness, reality, we tango between instincts and analysis. Computing big data inside!

One day we are skilled enough to laugh when we learn that there are books about mentalism or “gestures analysis”. “Methods”. As if when someone crosses his legs to feel comfortable was a “sign of closure”! OMG.

Of course there’s a need of books! A few hundreds could be a beginning. Anthropology, Philosophy, Psychology…

And years of life.

Then, when you talk with your lover, you know he/she has an idea in her mind, a worry, a concern, anything. There, it’s not analysis, it’s instinct. And you effing WATCH your partner, from the inside, not as a pilot (you don’t decide this), you just notice anything : her eyes, a way of breathing, a microseconding hesitation in a phrase. You say : “What’s happening, dear?”. She’ll maybe answer :

– Aweee… How do you know?

OK. INFJ. Maybe…

 

Thanks for reading! Comment if you feel like you want to add something…

Have a nice day!

 

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