Lion’s Cave & Resignations: Chronicle 64

When you read people about MBTI, they’re all INFJ! If I exaggerate a little I’d say 95% say they are INFJ, though it’s 1% in reality.

“OMG THAT’S SOOOO ME!”.

“I’m an empath, an introvert, I’m so rare, I can feeeeel people”. So rare but they’re all “so rare”. Why not, after all: it’s all a game of grids, right? Percentages for people are rarely accurate, and one can’t forget that some “types” are sometimes used as an excuse or justification for certain unhealthy behaviors – like “I’m doing nothing because I’m like that, so there”.

oOOo

I got rhythm
I got music
I got my guy
Who could ask for anything more?

Mike Oldfield really?

When I was a teenager I went to the neighbors’ house with my parents to have a pre-dinner drink. It was very quiet and boring.

I was maybe 13. My neighbors had two daughters. One of them, who was maybe 16, showed me a record with a blue butterfly on the sleeve and put it on the turntable. It was Platinum, by Mike Oldfield. The most incredible artistic shock of my whole life. I fell off my chair. Almost cried.

What was it? It was like a 20 minutes long track with a disco rhythm, gorgeous guitars, breaks and crescendos. I was flabbergasted. It was pulsing rocketing ideas everywhere. My head exploded.

Years later I understood. Skills. In Platinum, Mike Oldfield :

  1. had the bottle to build a 20 minutes disco complex instrumental “thing” with big guitars, disco rhythms, a big brass and a Phil Glass repetitive ending.
  2. is a great melodist.
  3. likes crescendos, likes to pull levers on crazy levels (cf Amarok)
  4. obviously looks for the audience’s ecstasy.
  5. is a bit crazy, daring crazy, the good crazy.
  6. has a VERY special guitar sound.
  7. dares an energic Punkadiddle “rock with a recorder and a crowd”.
  8. writes dreamy echoes in the night (Woodhenge).
  9. A Gershwin cover track.

So, I bought the album and it was my very first LP! Listened to it for months before I bought others (Ommadawn, etc).

There’s a big question today, in my head, about why he lost his skills as a composer. Lack of energy or inspiration is common when you come to 50, 60 years old, but…

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oOOo

There once was a lion who was too lazy to hunt for his food. He pretended to be very sick and announced to all the animals that he was soon to die.

“Please,” he said, “come visit me in my cave and bid me goodbye.”

The lion looked so weak and helpless, the animals felt sorry for him. One by one the visitors came. One by one, the lion ate his fill of them!

When fox arrived to pay his last respects, he stopped in front of the cave’s entrance and looked closely at the ground.

“Come in quickly, I am dying!” cried the sly lion, impatiently.

“No,” said the fox, who was equally clever, “You’ll not have ME for a visitor, though you moan and pout. While I see many footprints going into your cave, NONE are coming out!”

oOOo

Ahhh the rest job face :

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oOOo

oOOo

Collins Dictionary: Resignation is the acceptance of an unpleasant situation or fact because you realize that you cannot change it.

Descartes: My third maxim was to endeavor always to conquer myself rather than fortune, and change my desires rather than the order of the world, and in general, accustom myself to the persuasion that, except our own thoughts, there is nothing absolutely in our power.

W. Somerset Maugham: I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation.

oOOo

I read about a study on the factors that employees consider motivating. Good wages, interesting work, the security of the job, of course, but the number one factor was “to be valued”. Really valued.

It’s not about a bonus or a “best employee of the month” challenge. It’s something like :

“I see what you do and I appreciate what you do”.

People often do the best they can with what they got. And they wait, they need to be seen…

Makes sense, right?

It’s a special case for life, this theory telling that everything we do in society is to be loved.

Thanks for reading!

Instant Oyster or Tent?

There are so many way, for humans, to protect themselves from stress.

Many will fight, “Up and at’em!!”. Others will run away – and that’s often smart!

Most thinkers know that against stress there’s one good solution: flee from the source of stress.

There’s another one: realize that stress does not exist in reality, but only in our brain, that stress does not penetrate your body through an ear or a toe, but that we secrete it.

OK, but now we all know that we sometimes have to deal with it. There’s no way, now, to escape.

Let’s not talk about fighters, we’re all introverts here, right?

To protect me against stressy people or situations, we can also oyster.

An oyster is a mollusk in a shell, a closed shell. When you oyster against stress, you stay here and nobody notices you’re oystering. You now just contemplate bullshit like a wise koala in its tree, maybe even smiling inside…

There are subtleties in the way we can oyster.

  • We can tent, the famous “instant tent”. You just need half a second to instant tent. Hop and vroush, here you are.
  • We can spider: in a hole we hide, there’s nothing more than a string that connects you with reality.
  • We can ice, too: immobility of the mind.
  • We can tree, wise and vast and upstairing, talking to birds and clouds and the sun, solid on roots…

What do you choose? Where (Work? Couple? Parents?)? Is it effective? How long?

Thanks for reading!

CPOA (Cherry-Picking Ounces of Appraisal)

Working in a capitalist world is sometimes a mess, and here’s, with no reason, a hell tango of two things happening all the time, which are not good at all :

  1. Your work is evaluated with digits (therefore your managers know nothing of what you do, and worse : they THINK they master something (and they don’t)).
  2. You expect your good job to be valued, to be “seen”, and you’re not seen or valued at all.

I wrote in my last Chronicle :

The factors that employees consider motivating are : Good wages, interesting work, security of the job, of course, but the number one factor was“to be valued”. Really valued.

It’s not about a bonus or a “best employee of the month” challenge. It’s really something like :

“I see what you do and I appreciate what you do”.

People often do the best they can with what they got. And they wait, they need to be seen

N/N-1 Business Bullshittery is a good example of how the managers who have “numbers” don’t understand half an ounce of what’s happening on the ground.

Raise your eyes heavenward – but inside your head only, because illusion of mastery is funny to watch, after all. Let them “evaluate”. And do your job properly, that’s all.

And if you expect to be valued to be motivated, you have to expect… not to be. Na! So there!

Your manager doesn’t know you’re doing a good job? So what? You thus can :

  1. Know what you’re doing nevertheless, value yourself, determine your own good goals, be strong and try not to “need” to feel valued to be efficient and motivated.
  2. Cherry-pick little ounces of compliments or happiness where you can : colleagues who can see what you do and wink at you, or customers, or even people passing by, who can see your work and appreciate it. In French, we call it : “Grappiller” (it could be : “To make a little-bunch” of something).

Have a nice day!

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Exhausted Rich or Happy Rich?

ONE

Talking yesterday with a father, about jobs & choices – high valued big jobs like doctor, lawyer or financial jobs, and workers, like electricians and plumbers. With this observation in mind : good workers make big money, yeyyyy.

Then a category split appeared with a few examples we saw :

  1. This electrician he knows, who says he never stops working, he never takes holidays, because he is “very much in demand”, all the time.
  2. This lawyer I knew who worked half a month before traveling everywhere in the world with his wife – I used to see him biking with his briefcase!

 

TWO

There, I have to put what a banker told me one day (which seams almost a law) :

most people live just a little OVER what they earn

I think it’s true!

 

THREE

Now there’s a huge difference between the US and other modern countries : health. In Europa you don’t need to have millions of dollars in bank to pay all the treatments and cares needed after an accident. Everybody pays a little, every month. It’s not made for poors and olds, but for everyone. It’s NOT socialism. It’s Left and Right. You won’t ever hear about a personal bankruptcy because of health, in France!

 

FOUR

OK let’s imagine we’re in Europa. You can :

  1. Pile up money into bank accounts. You work all the time, then you’re dead. Rich.
  2. Pile up money to buy things, cars and big houses.
  3. Pile up money to buy free time and experiences.

So we talked about this guy, who works three weeks and takes 10 days off : holidays. Every fucking month.

He could make much more money, but what for? To have much more money?

 

…most people live just a little OVER what they earn.

What’s smart, then?

Exhausted Rich or Happy Rich?

 

Thanks for reading!

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An embarrassing rigmaroling douchebag : the ambitious

Y’all workers know the type : bossy boots, low level managers and tinpot dictators. They are proud to have their cap. They are useless and painful, and voilà. There are many ways of dealing with these donkeys, from murder to indifference by way of traps and other methodical counter-attacks. Weapon of choice!

As pronounced the wise man : one can take everything, but they won’t have my soul, EVER.

 

Nope, the douchebag of the day is the ambitious. It’s another type (though they’re cousins, right?).

The ambitious is at the bottom, but he wants to climb in the hierarchy. The ambitious has plenty of self-confidence, and a big, wooden, stubborn, strongly nutty stupid head. Watch him :

  • He lies. He reports and denounces. He has/fakes seriousness. He always seems “busy”. He is a bit agitated, like a hen, when a manager is around. He has “ideas” : the ambitious he is, and he has :

…the whole rigmarole, the whole panoply, the whole outfit and the whole shebang!

 

We ALL know the type, right?

What do they want, each of them?

The cap, silly! A little power that would make them important.

There’s no need to analyze further. It’s just another “bad sign”. Watch them move and talk like a living donkeypoo, but not too long. It’s too… embarrassing and somewhat gross, like a infirm hirsute farting dirty spider

 

Have a nice day!

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Toltecking a crying colleague

Many people smile when they open this book, the Toltec Agreements. One does not understand why it’s such a hit, constantly and in many countries. “Always do your best, hahaha I don’t need a book to know this, right?”.

Well, they are printed and pinned on the wall in my apartement. Little by little they probably impregnate the guy…

A few months ago I toltecked a colleague, a young woman bawling her eyes out walking out a meeting with a rude manager. She needed to talk, obviously. What I told her followed the book by the book… but unthinkingly.

Of course there are many ways to deal with managers who manage nothing and then yell once in a while. You can fight back (man to man or with union), you can protect-mute, you can don’t-give-a-shit or quit, choose your way). My way is to deal with these like with the weather (I wrote about it here : Marcus Aurelius VS bad management).

 

  1. It’s useless to comment, you can’t fix anybody. Let go and inner erase what bothers you. Focus on good people.
  2. People deal with their strange patterns, their dispositions (from culture, childhood, etc). It’s interesting.
  3. Trying to guess what’s happening and “why is this” is losing time. Sometimes it rains.
  4. Focus on what’s important in your job, and do it well for colleagues or clients.

 

Have a nice day!

 

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The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

 

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Bertrand Russell’s Quote : “One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown…

“One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important”

Bertrand Russell

 

 

“L’un des symptômes d’une proche dépression nerveuse est de croire que le travail que l’on fait est terriblement important”

 

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Instagram : meghanhowland

Entering Business Schools Duplicity

Hi everyone,

I talked a long time yesterday with a mother, whose daughter was preparing prestigious Business Schools competitive exams

…and interviews

…and tests

We agreed on this :

Out of the “knowledge” part, the whole thing is rotten. Most of these 19 years old kids are not ready to be big managers and negotiators. Therefore they have to train to FAKE.

 

I had conversations before, with guys who organize this kind of stuff.

Logic tests, they say, are so tricky that they’re not used to pick out “logical persons” AT ALL, but to handpick the… guys who are able to train themselves to do stupid logical exercises.

Or with this teacher in a big institute, saying that what, in fact, they train students to look the part – nothing more – for at least 10 minutes, in front of any specialist in the world. You know a little of everything, a surface.

 

Well, in a way that’s common sense. You swallow knowledge, but in fact you know nothing when you begin 1/ your curriculum 2/ your career. That’s not really a problem, and we all know that we mostly learn on the job, as you go along, with time and meeting people.

 

At the end we agreed on the fact that all this system will have the tendency to move aside and rule out a whole part of people who could probably be good (or great) for the courses, for the jobs.

Those who don’t like to fake.

 

Thanks for reading!

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Marcus Aurelius VS bad management

“If only the bird with the loveliest song sang,
the forest would be a lonely place.”
John James Audubon

Ahh… “If only…”.

In France we say “Avec des si on mettrait Paris en bouteille” : “With “ifs” one could put Paris into a bottle”. Makes sense, I suppose…

Bad management is pretty common. If it’s too bad you have to quit, right? It you don’t, you have to deal with it. That simple!

Some managers are lazy, or weak, or just plain stupid. Some are violent, unsteady, irrelevant or beyond understanding.

You can’t fix people, but you can fight, say “It’s enough”, etc. It’s a path, you can go N+1, or use the Union, or make a team with colleagues : I’m not talking about that today.

In front of bad management, you can choose 4 paths :

  1. Have a good ulcer. Or a breakdown.
  2. Find a way to deal with it.
  3. Fight back.
  4. Quit.

Here, Marcus Aurelius is useful :

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

OK, here’s my tool :

  1. Focus for a few minutes and think about what is your job really about.
  2. You’re paid for that, therefore do your job, the best you can.
  3. Consider management as the weather.

That’s all.

  • If you sell things, your shelf displays must be clean and interesting. Vegetable, flowers or books. Great displays. Focus!
  • If you teach, your students must listen and understand, and if they love you, you’re good. Invent tricks and watch them.
  • If you’re a journalist, write great articles, captivate your audience and do your best. Blossom smiles!
  • If you’re a truck driver, drive well and pay attention. Do your job and listen to some good music.
  • Etc. Etc.

Management?

WEATHER

It’s sunny? Good! It’s a storm, it rains, it’s cold, windy? Whatever! GOOD!

You can’t fix people. You can’t fix the weather. Focus.

Do your job, JtfC!

Have a nice day!

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Hicks lunch-mosquitoezing at work : What to do?

It’s lunch break.

You Introvert, I know you! You have your quiet spot to eat, right?…

Suddenly you hear what seems to be a one-man band screaming his joy, yelling in laughter, bringing a small group into noisy happiness. Hahaha!

Hicks.

  1. They are happy
  2. They are noisy
  3. They like pranks
  4. Rib-tickling funny stories they love
  5. They speak like “He said this – then I said that”, in loops
  6. They have big voices
  7. They love TV
  8. Laughing hard

You inner-facepalm while you have to eat, then you need strategies.

  1. Go out for a walk under the trees.
  2. Choose weird hours to eat in quiet.
  3. Read
  4. Mentally train yourself to close your ears
  5. Find another human-being to conversation with
  6. Earphones
  7. Acceptance Amor-Fati driven
  8. Wait for coffee breaks : they smoke (they always smoke)

You can quit, but that’s silly. Hicks are like mosquitoes. Everywhere.

Have a nice day!

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The “Let’s make it a dance” tool

Hefez : La Danse du Couple (really need a translation?) is a book written by a couples therapist. He says that a couple is an impossible thing to build and to live – the other one never “fits”.

Therefore, we all have to think, watch the other and our alliance, and realize that there are stairs to climb, paths to invent, that we have to think and “find a way”. All this gestures-mess is a DANCE.

“Let’s make it a dance” is a tool which says :

“When it’s difficult somewhere but you have to insist and you have to stay in the system, just accept and absorb the difficulties – and invent a dance. Your dance. It’s a mess, but you can dance it, smile, and climb the stairs”. And ignore the others. Nobody can understand your own dance. It’s a secret.

Thanks for reading!

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Instagram : tammygucci

Ohmylanta ! Bad #management ideas

Here are a few bad management ideas to apply if you want your team exhausted, potatosad, ineffective or bored :

  • Bossy Tinpot Dictators are the worst pain in the ass ever. One could wonder how they just find the drive to “be” that Type.
  • Delation based reports is a plague. You just pick up the worse idiots in your team and give them a little cap. Have your favorites to do this.
  • Micromanagement is exhausting. Just keep check on people and give little orders about their job (where they don’t need you at all).
  • Incompetence or cruelty? Make you team wonder if your strategy is based on one or the other…
  • Give orders without explanations, even if you know that your employees will wonder why you need this.
  • Don’t ask your team what they think how things should be done.
  • Make your team lose their time (for example to fix your mistakes).
  • Give paradoxal orders (a command that would undo the other one).
  • Suspicion : just show your team you mistrust everything they do for the job.
  • Procrastination is great. Just hope the problems will be fixed by magic. Answer it’s “not the moment to talk about it”.
  • Invent useless rules. Watch people struggle.
  • Be unreliable. Say A to Bill and B to Bob. Decide randomly in the end.

 

Tool : 

A team is a clock, an engine. There are two types of managers. You can put a little oil here and there, from time to time, and let people work. They all know their job. Or you can add sand.

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Instagram : marisharasikoskinen

 

Managing Layers, Empathy Ways & Adaptation Paths

Wandering into this…

I work in a store. I have to deal with : managers, colleagues, customers. If you’re a principal in a school, you deal with : teachers & special educators, students, parents (a gardener deals with flowers – a client from time to time. Some days, I’d like to be this guy)…

I talked with a speech therapist one day, and we agreed on this : when you work with a lot of humans, you acquire an instinct, a very fast ability to adapt and adjust your communication ways to the others, your interlocutors.

Thus I really feel I have the head up display like in the Terminator red screen : when the robot meets someone, he’s computing, sorting, labelling what he sees, in real time. Tut criip tut tuuut!…

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If today, at work, you meet someone you already know (a kid, a colleague, a chief), you’re fast inside because you have your labels ready, a bunch of stickers, it is. Then your sensors refines and adapts : what’s the mood here and is there something new to know? All this while your talking about the weather – right?

The purpose is not to terminate the person, but to adapt. It leads to a question about empathy : you empath, do you think or do you feel? Both? Of course both!

I posted an article about INTJ or INFJ in a forum, asking if the T (thinking) and F (feeling) are not, in fact, a braid, and I got attacked there by people who REALLY like their boxes and said I “did not understand”. Like in USSR in the old time, I probably needed to be re-educated.

So we work with groups (students/teachers/parents), we connect with individuals, we juggle with labels and realness, reality, we tango between instincts and analysis. Computing big data inside!

One day we are skilled enough to laugh when we learn that there are books about mentalism or “gestures analysis”. “Methods”. As if when someone crosses his legs to feel comfortable was a “sign of closure”! OMG.

Of course there’s a need of books! A few hundreds could be a beginning. Anthropology, Philosophy, Psychology…

And years of life.

Then, when you talk with your lover, you know he/she has an idea in her mind, a worry, a concern, anything. There, it’s not analysis, it’s instinct. And you effing WATCH your partner, from the inside, not as a pilot (you don’t decide this), you just notice anything : her eyes, a way of breathing, a microseconding hesitation in a phrase. You say : “What’s happening, dear?”. She’ll maybe answer :

– Aweee… How do you know?

OK. INFJ. Maybe…

 

Thanks for reading! Comment if you feel like you want to add something…

Have a nice day!

 

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Instagram : _bodylanguage_

 

 

 

 

Your Field : Topology & Radars

What’s your field? You’re a CEO? A poet? A photographer? A blogger? A cook? What do you do, what do you explore, what is your field, your… territory?

You probably like to “Think about your art”, where things are not that obvious. A map is not the territory, but it helps you : “A model is a lie that helps you see the truth”. Why would you study your own field? Make progress? Extend your possibilities? Detect dangers or mistakes? You feel stuck? Going too fast? Other reasons?

Do you think about your art when you’re working on it, or after? Alone or with another person? What happens?

You can also read :

When you work, what radars should you use? What model? Do you draw? Do you imagine? In fact, it’s a good opportunity to use topologic or other fields vocabulary, and tools…

  • If you dig, what is a lode? How do you find it? What do you do with it?
  • What if you were stuck in the narrow neck of an hourglass? What does that mean? Do you have to wait? To push?
  • If you find grains and rocks, are there a pain, a chance, a luck?
  • What could be a compass, in your field? A magnifying glass?

Other ideas of tools to use to study your own activity?

Take these jobs : clockmaker, a topology specialist, a miner, a gold digger, an entomologist. List their tools, their concepts. Then apply on your field. How do they use it? What happens? A nugget? A change? A new map? Vectors? Paths?

 

Thanks for reading!

 

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Half a teaspoon of a phoneysham Russian eloping : Chronicle 7

Today I don’t work, I have a “disciplinary layoff”. This is the second time in a few months, which means I’ll probably lose my job before the end of the year.

So today I read my big Nabokov book on my balcony, like 1200 pages of classes about literature. I read a big part about his compatriot Dostoyevsky, an authors he hates for is “sentimentality” (though he deeply studied his work).

As he says, disliking a book can be a great thing – one of the advantages is to put your brain in movement, trying to find what’s wrong, what it “could be”, etc. I have to admit that you need to have that happy “trait” in front of Art : dissection, study, analyze.

Nabokov never says he hates Dostoyevsky, he says his own position is “curious and uncomfortable” (incommode). He’s fascinated… and wrote lectures about his work.

What Nabokov calls sentimentality is the tendency, in novels, to talk about nervous imbeciles, monotonous overdramatic characters and other degeneration weavers.

Drama!

 

So imagine now : your marriage exploded and you’re alone, or the person you love turns away from you, or you’re going to lose your job. Some days, the usual injunctions (“Find happiness inside you”, “Move forward”) don’t work very well : it’s not a good reason to commit suicide! After all, you are healthy, right, for now?

Every woman has a “last man” – and it works the other way round! Just watch around you… That’s for another article, though…

There’s a quiet grey path you are tempted to walk on, some days. You don’t kill yourself but you gather information about it. You drink a little too much. You overthink like an idiot. Phoneysham, it is! It’s your cheap depression day. Your burden is there, but you have probably a few happy days left in front of you.

Try these if you want more about this :

  • Just wait, before you act.
  • Sometimes, insisting makes things worse.
  • Watch how you’re stuck, watch it closely.

 

So again, today I stood up because I have found words related to Art telling things about my questions, and because I write here about that. Nabokov is very intelligent and very sweet : you read his class with a big smile (see?). You clearly own up there’s no murder nor alcoholism, no incest or no gothic disaster in your life (at least, for now). Let’s call this grey path an oblique way to give a kick to the pool bottom. Eloping moods towards the surface!

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As I was reading, a maybug, a cockchafer landed on my shoulder. Ohhhh! I said hello, he walked along my arm towards my hand, then he flew away. Yes it’s harmless. We call this little brown jewel : Un hanneton.

 

OK, now listen to this :

And here’s now a little song by Eden Ahbez

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=339UrDjHDio

There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he

And then one day
A magic day he passed my way
And while we spoke of many things
Fools and kings
This he said to me
“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return”

Voilà !

 

Incompetence or Cruelty?

When you have to work with people, groups, companies, you encounter…  failure. Something went wrong somewhere, from your manager, or during a delivery, or in whole projects. This is a mess. You got the wrong thing, you’re under a stupid decision, you have not enough, or too much, etc.

This moment when you fall on your ass, saying :

“Are they really stupid or they’re doing it on purpose?”

…is interesting. Because from there you can do many things. You can act, you can try to fix, you can report and feedback,  you can become sarcastic, you can realize it’s too late, you can laugh, or cry, or lament, or have revenge, or to be in rage, or resign…

What I say in this case is :

Incompetence or Cruelty?

And sometimes, we REALLY wonder, right?

Thanks for reading!

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