Beware! Bigwigs are visiting!

CEOs and other bigwigs visit one local office, a local store.

They are surrounded by the local chiefs and managers, like butterflies around a lamp in the night, who laugh too hard to the Big Chieves jokes…

Right? See it?

But of course, the bigwigs warned they will make an appearance. The “important visit by the important heads” was scheduled weeks before!

Thus, for and since days, everything has been hidden, fixed, changed, modelled… to please the elephants.

Finally, the place visited by the pointy shoed top managers and their staff has NOTHING to see with the “real place”. It’s now like a decor.

More : bigwigs talk only with local bigwigs. It’s almost a rule. Emperor not talk to proles and plebs!

 

TOOL :

If you were a smart BigWig, you would/should :

  1. NEVER warn you’ll visit your stores and offices – Surprise!
  2. TALK to common people, longly, in private, without any managers around

 

That’s all, folks! That simple! This is a double simple way to know what’s really happening there…

But do you want to know? Or do you like the fake “as if” masked game everybody’s playing around you?

 

Thanks for reading!

 

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Instagram : _bodylanguage_

 

 

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Understaffing Bullshittery

Well, we all know this “trend”. Nowadays, all bosses understaff.

Imagine you have a pretty diner, you work with 6 employees, including a cook, waitresses, etc… It’s a good business, and you make good money.

As you’re a capitalist, you want MORE money, right? Thus you fire 2 employees for no good reason. More money for you!  You’re rich!

But you’re not : your reduced team is stressed out, it’s too much work, now. Clients have to wait more, the quality of service collapses. Clients abandons this diner. They go in another one. You close, you fire everyone. Good to you. Hang yourself, Billy, because it’s too late!

OK I’m not stupid. I know the trend. Less employees. OK. Why not? It’s crisis time, right?

But don’t expect the work to be done properly, silly!

If you need 50 persons to do the job and you use 40, that’s OK. You’re the boss, after all. But please don’t mimic surprise and stupefaction when everything falls apart : quality of service, stock, whatever you want to “measure”. You put people in a mess, and they are NOT idiots. People on in the field know exactly what’s happening.

 

I know, I’m a dreamer. I dream of intelligence.

  1. If you expected the job to be done correctly understaffed, you’re an idiot.
  2. If you know that it’d be a total mess and you rebuke them in a fake surprise, your an asshole.

 

There’s a way out, manager!

HIRE some guys! Let’s do it properly, OK?

 

Thanks for reading!

 

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Entering Business Schools Duplicity

Hi everyone,

I talked a long time yesterday with a mother, whose daughter was preparing prestigious Business Schools competitive exams

…and interviews

…and tests

We agreed on this :

Out of the “knowledge” part, the whole thing is rotten. Most of these 19 years old kids are not ready to be big managers and negotiators. Therefore they have to train to FAKE.

 

I had conversations before, with guys who organize this kind of stuff.

Logic tests, they say, are so tricky that they’re not used to pick out “logical persons” AT ALL, but to handpick the… guys who are able to train themselves to do stupid logical exercises.

Or with this teacher in a big institute, saying that what, in fact, they train students to look the part – nothing more – for at least 10 minutes, in front of any specialist in the world. You know a little of everything, a surface.

 

Well, in a way that’s common sense. You swallow knowledge, but in fact you know nothing when you begin 1/ your curriculum 2/ your career. That’s not really a problem, and we all know that we mostly learn on the job, as you go along, with time and meeting people.

 

At the end we agreed on the fact that all this system will have the tendency to move aside and rule out a whole part of people who could probably be good (or great) for the courses, for the jobs.

Those who don’t like to fake.

 

Thanks for reading!

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Marcus Aurelius VS bad management

“If only the bird with the loveliest song sang,
the forest would be a lonely place.”
John James Audubon

Ahh… “If only…”.

In France we say “Avec des si on mettrait Paris en bouteille” : “With “ifs” one could put Paris into a bottle”. Makes sense, I suppose…

Bad management is pretty common. If it’s too bad you have to quit, right? It you don’t, you have to deal with it. That simple!

Some managers are lazy, or weak, or just plain stupid. Some are violent, unsteady, irrelevant or beyond understanding.

You can’t fix people, but you can fight, say “It’s enough”, etc. It’s a path, you can go N+1, or use the Union, or make a team with colleagues : I’m not talking about that today.

In front of bad management, you can choose 4 paths :

  1. Have a good ulcer. Or a breakdown.
  2. Find a way to deal with it.
  3. Fight back.
  4. Quit.

Here, Marcus Aurelius is useful :

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

OK, here’s my tool :

  1. Focus for a few minutes and think about what is your job really about.
  2. You’re paid for that, therefore do your job, the best you can.
  3. Consider management as the weather.

That’s all.

  • If you sell things, your shelf displays must be clean and interesting. Vegetable, flowers or books. Great displays. Focus!
  • If you teach, your students must listen and understand, and if they love you, you’re good. Invent tricks and watch them.
  • If you’re a journalist, write great articles, captivate your audience and do your best. Blossom smiles!
  • If you’re a truck driver, drive well and pay attention. Do your job and listen to some good music.
  • Etc. Etc.

Management?

WEATHER

It’s sunny? Good! It’s a storm, it rains, it’s cold, windy? Whatever! GOOD!

You can’t fix people. You can’t fix the weather. Focus.

Do your job, JtfC!

Have a nice day!

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Tricks & Ropes : Two Apprentices

ONE

A Method is ideal, it’s a model, it’s abstract, transmissible and transferable, you can teach it. It’s logical, manageable, and you start from yourself to apply it.

TWO

There’s this new apprentice. He’s young, fast, has instinct, he’s casual, but clever. He’s doing pretty well!

But :

THREE

Of course, as soon as you work with life & its pertained complexities, things begin to hurt, to squeak, to skid and to run out of control eventually. One gets stuck. Two… crashes. Both are surprised!

FOUR

If you’re the person in charge, you have to deal with these apprentices. One has to learn suppleness and how to find colors. Two has to learn methods, to canalize.

FIVE

In French we say “Avoir du métier“, “To have some skills from working experience”.

  • Methods are effective quickly if you work on algorithms, on computer programming.
  • Instinct is great if you draw, take pictures or write poems. You go girl!

But :

There’s always this “stuck moment” where they understand (I hope so) that they have to learn the other skillside, THEN to learn how to build their own engine with both.

Both have to learn the ropes, the magical ones and the logical ones. One has to learn how to be like water, how to adapt quickly. Two has to learn rules (even to bend’em), to find where the levers are…

 

A diplomat, a teacher, a therapist,

 

This Patterntool can be used to study : Diplomacy, Teaching, Photography, Marriage, Poetry, Writing, Architecture, therapy : in every job involving humans or creativity, your skill is made of strict methods AND the fast ability to watch and adapt to the situation.

 

One question : in your field, on what platform of the scale are you?

 

Thanks for reading!

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Backwards Propaganda

I have a good example : advertising of radio. It’s so bad, so wrong, so ridiculous that you facepalm and promise yourself to never buy it. EVER.

You’re in a big store and there’s a “commercial announcement” in the loudspeakers. But the voice hesitates and makes mistakes : a disaster. And it goes on, for days, weeks and months. Flee!

It’s almost all the same for propaganda. When the audience is aware (and that’s not too difficult with this mess : big statements, systematic criticism of the “enemy”, exaggeration of successes), all you reap is inner sarcasms, facepalms and rolling eyes.

So yes, the audience is this “You can’t be THAT stupid, right?” state.

There are entire books of jokes “under communism”, and they are hilarious.

Where else are we confronted today to this overboring crap? Companies slogan? Ads?

Propaganda SAYS something about the propagandist. What is it? What do you do about that? Run away? Indifference? As if enthusiasm if you have to? Inner LOLs?

 

Thanks for reading!

 

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Miles & Pina : Enigmas and what their message addressees make of them

Wandering into a book about Miles Davis, I found one entry : Enigmas. As a director, he indeed oftenly told strange phrases to the musicians he was playing with.

He quickly told, during a concert, “Don’t play the butter notes” to Herbie Hancock, who had to guess what it was about. To forget the fat, the obvious notes, play dry?…

But also “Implicit in Davis’s advice is the counterintuitive idea that having fewer options actually expands the creative possibilities available to a musician, because you have to work extra hard to make up for the absent notes.”

Therefore : a more aerial game AND creativity triggering, from and after a five words injunction!

 

So I think about Pina Bausch telling “I chose you for your weaknesses” to a tough dancer, as an enigma, which totally unblocked the dancer.

 

There’s one tool here, for team managers, who need :

  1. The sense of timing (when to aim, and how)
  2. The sense of immediacy
  3. The will to disturb someone “in a good way”
  4. The Koan talent (find the good phrase to unblock a frustrated collaborator)
  5. The director skills (how to opportunely address a whole team or one of its elements)

Analysis or Vision? Logic or Instinct? It’s up to you…

 

This leads me to an end : Message Addressees.

 

To click on enigmatic messages, to understand a koan, to dismantle a manipulator‘s discourse, you have to think, you need to be trained.

If you’re a fast thinker like Herbie Hancock, you accept the good idea, you understand it and apply it with your possibilities and your will. As if someone showed you a window. Let’s jump through it!

Negatively? Toxic communicators and bad managers will often try to define you, to put you down, to trick you with paradoxes, injunctions or enigmatic assertions. If you’re aware of it, you’ll have fun dismantling all these processes at fast pace, clipping along the suite of sentences and putting the dead bones on your wooden desk : Ok this, then that, and oh this too…

Then you do what you have to do.

 

Now I think about strange movies like Fight Club (Fincher) or Eyes Wide Shut (Kubrick), which have the capacity to bore the bored, and to activate some others…

 

Conclusion : Enigmas, good or bad, are good for thinkers!

 

Have a nice day!

 

 

“The very activity of seeking an answer”

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Instagram : hornsarahberlin

 

 

KOAN : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C5%8Dan

“A kōan is a story, dialogue, question, or statement, which is used in Zen practice to provoke the “great doubt” and test a student’s progress in Zen practice”.