Under a mask, no one can lie…

“Under a mask, no one can lie…”

I found this fascinating idea in an interview of a French director, who used masks in a film about WWI. Years before, Ariane Mnouchkine, a theater director, said to him that under a mask, no one can lie…

I remembered that Christopher Nolan talked about masks, and he chose Tom Hardy to play Bane (with a mask) in Batman The Dark Knight Rises, then to play the aviator (with a mask) in Dunkirk.

Nolan said :

“I was pretty thrilled with what he did in The Dark Knight Rises with two eyes and couple of eyebrows and a bit of forehead so I thought let’s see what he can do with no forehead, no real eyebrows, maybe one eye.

“Of course Tom, being Tom, what he does with single eye acting is far beyond what anyone else can do with their whole body, that is just the unique talent of the man, he’s extraordinary.”

 

It’s something like a paradox. You smile, but you don’t : we all know that there’s something true here. But where?

Example : you talk with someone. You know that this someone is lying to you. But you don’t tell you know. You let this person lie. Just to see. You know there’s a mask, and your interlocutor does not know you know. What happens?

Exercise : Google “mask quotes” and find things like : “When you wear a mask, the mask becomes you”, or “Do they love you, or the mask you put on everyday?”, or “Give a man a mask, and he will show you his true face”. Why are all these quotes interesting? Can you undbuild them, prove the contrary? Why? How?

Is a mask a protection, a tool, a cowardice?

Under a mask, everybody lies. So what does this title mean?

 

Indecipherable Harlekeen & Quick-Eyed Happy Centaur

Je porte un manteau d’Arlequin : I wear a coat of Harlequin.

“…is characterized by his chequered costume. His role is that of a light-hearted, nimble and astute servant, often acting to thwart the plans of his master, and pursuing his own love interest, Columbina, with wit and resourcefulness”, says Wikipedia.

Yes it’s about facets, but I do think this pattern is effective to describe different levels of some personalities, from the deep to the surface.

Harlequin, Harlekeen on :

• Changing
• Never being sure of
• Aware that things change all the time
• And that people evolve and change along the day
• Being curious
• Being unsteady (which is “to be alive”)
• Fast, Slow : Changing speed/gear in a second
• Indecipherable at times
• Masked. Disguised.
• Being two things at the same time
• Complexity as a skill
• Positive
• Keensharp, vivacious
• Backhanded if necessery

 

It’s Sunday! Fall! Then pick yourself up…

Don’t be that serious, Harlequin is in you. And you know it, quick-eyed happy you!

 

“Faire bonne figure” is the French “Put a brave face on it”

Look contented, look happy, when you’re pretty disturbed inside, that’s “Faire bonne figure”, you put a brave face on your face. Watching this concept gives you a dashboard, an instrument panel :

• It’s a matter of politeness, first.
• You don’t want to embarrass the others.
• You don’t want to appear as a fool, either!
• Yes, it’s a mask.
• Somewhere inside of you, there’s a pilot.
• Trying to look natural is awkward.
• Therefore you can speak too much, too loud, or be too quiet, etc.
• Somewhere inside of you, you HOPE that the other side will guess.
• Somewhere inside of you, you HOPE that the other side will stop.
• Somewhere inside of you, you HOPE that the other side did not make on purpose to put you into this merdy situation.
• Amor Fati!

 

Putting a brave face on you is exhausting. It charges you in dark energy : Don’t mess too much with someone who’s been in this state…

 

Thanks for reading!

I’m perfectly OK

Instagram : itspeteski

 

“Be Spontaneous, please” (Can you see my mask?)

“I’m taking a picture of you. Please smile. Nooo not like that! A big, natural, spontaneous smile”.

Everyone understands this example, right? When someone asks you to act… spontaneously, you’re stuck in an awkward grey nauseous mood. It’s called “the be spontaneous paradox”. It can happen anywhere, in a couple, a family, at work : one person requests something that can only be given spontaneously – love, interest, appreciation, desire, tenderness… You’re now stuck in a Double Bind.

Here’s a good dialog from the 2006 movie “The Break-Up” :

• I busted my ass all day cleaning this house and then cooking that meal! And I worked today. It would be nice if you said “thank you” and helped me with the dishes.
• Fine. I’ll help you do the damn dishes.
• That’s not what I want.
• You just said that you want me to help you do the dishes!
• I want you to want to do the dishes.
• Why would I want to do dishes?
• Why? See, that’s my whole point.
• Let me see if I’m following this, okay? Are you telling me that you’re upset
  because I don’t have a strong desire to clean dishes?
• No. I’m upset because you don’t have a strong desire to offer to do the dishes.
• I just did.
• After I asked you!

MMMmhh?

Imagine a club, a private club with big mellow armchairs. The boss enters the room and solemnly criticize the atmosphere, and then asks everyone to be a little more gay and happy, “a few more laughs would be perfect!” – Imagine the disaster!… (I saw this one day from a web forum administrator. I tried to explain him, but without any effect).

Tool 1 : Learn how to detect when someone asks you to “act spontaneously”. And beware of this when it’s meant but unsaid, perversely implicit : it’s worse ! Your answer can be multiple.

• If you try, you just have to put a mask. But it’s not you, it’s theater. Maybe you will have to wear it!
• You can just say no, of course.
• Go meta-communication : talk about this, explain the paradox and that you will not stay stuck into this.

Tool 2 : Do you do it? Putting other people into these “Please change and act spontaneously like this and like that“? If you did, can you detect the desperate unease and awkwardness you put in the other’s brain? Can you see the mask?

I will always remember this example I got from Watzlawick, a father punishing his kid telling him “Go to your room, and come back when you smile”. Horror!