Too complicated to be bugs : Chronicle 34

If you’re passionate, if you’re a thinker, there are two types of spouses. When you begin a lecture about something you found, with “this” tone and sparks in eyes :

  1. Rolling eyes “Here we go again!”.
  2. Asking questions, loving it, helping you, smiling “I love your lectures, love!”.

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I’d love my blog to be not some food, but some stimulant.

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Someone who thinks only thoughts which (he thinks) are useful.

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To me : “One mistake at a time, will you?”.

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Criminy! Yesterday, someone took an article I wrote years ago, cut 95% of it and put it into the drafts section. That’s opening a few questions : who, how, why? Some occurrences are bugs, but some are too complicated to be bugs.

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Cinematographer Gregg Toland worked with such directors as John Ford on “The Grapes of Wrath”.

“Toland’s trademarks included sharp, deep focus pictures, black-and-white film, ceilinged sets, low-angle lighting, and touches of Germanic expressionism”.

After much success in his early career, Toland remarked, “I want to work with someone who’s never made a movie. That’s the only way to learn anything from someone who doesn’t know anything.” He got his chance in 1941 with Orson Welles and “Citizen Kane”.

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Exhausting : when people don’t hear you (and don’t understand) when you’re exhausted.

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How come you could be trapped AND unmoored? When?

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I reckon there’s a Meta-Talk Toxicity. When we communicate we sometimes have to talk about the ways and paths of… communicating. Sticking to it – and killing something. How and why? Develop.

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Ask for a map.

 

Have a nice day!

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How to ruin a picture on Instagram – on purpose

There are many ways to ruin a picture on Instagram. Of course you can be a pro and use a real cam. But on your phone…

Choose a wrong frame. Use the tunings to make it too dark, too bright. Exaggerate an effect. Use the autofocus in the wrong way (focus on your hand near you, move your phone quickly and trigger fast). In the night, move your phone to blur things. Choose a boring subject. Focus on the wrong level. Etc…

What could be this tool, to ruinspoil something to “see what you get”? It’s an easy risk you can take in pictures, but where else? Poetry? Movies? Ruin an element only to trigger something? Reactions?

Have fun! Bonne journée !

My Instagram, if interested : jprobocat

#chairs

#plastic

#symetry #station #abstraction #archilovers

#urbanart

#summersky for #horizontallovers

#cars #night #city #art #abstract #rain #road #lille #france #street #igers

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#blurry #home

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#white #abstract

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“More of the Same Thing”, when insisting is a failure #Watzlawick #Change

More of the same thing is what I call a “wrong tool”. It means : INSIST. Sometimes it’s good. Sometimes it’s stupid. Push push and push in a dead end. Seems easy, but we all do the same mistake.

The pattern is simple :

You have a problem. You think you have the solution. You act. It fails. So you think you have to insist, push, go stronger, “more of the same thing”. you fail.

The problem is “you think into the box”, and you are SURE you have the solution, and that if you insist enough, you will get it. And it’s wrong!

It’s an old classic, told by Palo Alto therapy searchers and Paul Watzlawick. If you want to save your couple, if you want to help someone, if you want to flirt, if you want to talk to someone who doesn’t want to talk : STOP. The solution? It’s at the end of this article!

The book? Paul Watzlawick : Change. Principles of Problem Formation and Problem Resolution.

The author gives an example (which I translated rapidly) :

A teacher in a class has a single kid “with problems”. She asks to meet the parents and learns that he has huge issues, comes from a broken family and is very lonely all the time. So she tries her best to take care of him and give the boy much more interest; but the solution is worse : his notes crash, he is more alone. She insists and it goes into a dead end. The therapist says that “the more of the same thing” she does, the worse it’ll go (what she does isolates the boy from the other kids, for example). She’s asked to ignore him. Only to compliment him if the notes are good. And it worked!

If a wife asks her husband to talk more to her, spontaneously, about his days or thoughts, he will tell little things as an effort, but he will feel more and more closed, which will… make the wife to be more focused on him, waiting, and “more of the same thing”, arguing continuously about why he doesn’t talk to her enough, which will embarrass him more and more, etc.

Chögyam Trungpa, who was a Buddhist Meditation Master, says that if someone answer “No” when you want to talk with him, you just have to disappear. If you don’t, if you insist, you just transform yourself into a nagging (oh, a new word!) Demon. He’s so right!

Of course you know the story of the bunch of guys flirting everyday with the beautiful lady in a bar, with no success. Only one guy understands the problem (“More of the same thing”). He just sits in the bar, no interest, showing his back to her. And paying her the most neutral way every night. And guess what? He become the only one who gets her interest…

The tool is also a dial :

It’s hard to detect when you insist “more of the same thing” stupidly, because you are SURE you’re about to succeed. Don’t be a demon. And think out of the box. Buy the book, by the way, it’s very good.

Thanks for reading!

#clown #lille3000

 

 

 

Riding the Tiger’s Back… and fall

This comes from a Chinese idiom : “Riding on the back of a tiger and finding it hard to get off” : someone is stuck in a difficult position and has no way out.

Once you start riding the tiger you can’t voluntarily get off or you will be eaten ! Let’s find it fascinating for many reasons…

  • It’s a tiger, dangerous and maybe powerful. So you can choose to STAY on the back of the tiger, and try to master it, or tame it (well, you can try…). You’ll fail, though, almost evidently.
  •  You probably chose to ride the tiger : why ? Are you crazy ? In despair ?
  •  There are colors on this picture : sarcasm probably, including auto-sarcasm (“haha, you’re stuck, you idiot”), fear, resignation, fatality !
  • Illusion of power, with the secret inconscient knowledge that it’s a fake power or a dangerous one.
  •  It’s maybe a story of destruction : choosing to climb the back of the tiger creates a situation which will force you to change something.
  •  Jump and be eaten OR Kill the tiger yourself OR “use it” until someone understands…
  •  When someone understands that you’re stuck, he can kill the tiger, or you, or both.
  •  When the tiger’s dead, this person will cuddle you in love and will forgive you for having invented this stupid tiger. “Why did you do that, silly !?”
  • Or not. So there.

This is linked to the concept of the Wrong Way Up – of course : it is often a wrong and dangerous solution to climb on the back of the tiger. But sometimes of course you have no choice (which, from the inside of you, is called nihilism).

If you have examples, write to me : jeanpascal@wanadoo.fr – love ? job ? military ?

Tool/Lever/Dial : Play with dynamite, smart little man, invent a tiger situation and climb on the back of it – you probably have to. Don’t lament you’re dead and eaten, as a consequence. Wrong way up is wrong. The idioms says : there’s no way back. Don’t expect forgiveness.

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