Overtaking Fatherness’s Inevitable Bullshittery

Here’s some cheap psychoanalysis, to game.

Girls & boys have to fight their father & mother, but in a different way.

  1. Girls have to fight their mother. They say “I won’t be like her”.
  2. Boys have to kill their father. They say “I’ll beat him, I’ll be better”.

The crossed thing is all about love. Boys love their mother and girls love their dad, that’s it. Boys are weak, they just love. Girls find a husband like dad (in order to repair him), or the opposite of him (to feel secure at least – or challenged?).

 

My dad was great. He lost his father and grand-father at war. He was a sensitive person, and as a young man he was an actor and a singer. I thank him because of his curiosity, and because he built up a great pack of shelves : books. A treasure for me!

I think he’s been strongly affected by disillusions of life, and depression hit him deeply, for years. He died two years ago.

In a way he made me : I am a curious person, am interested in classic cinema, psychology, philosophy, literature and arts, and I’ve even been a musician once, for theater and dance.

 

In a way I prolonged what he began but in other ways. I have many more books and I never really stopped exploring culture. I made 2 CDs for dancers – but I stopped composing music. I let go things without bitterness. I just kept this : I stayed a romantic, I suppose… I believed in things…

 

At one moment, though, you feel, you have to feel the fight, the fatherness (I know it’s fatherhood, but I choose fatherness) becomes toxic. You watch him and his tastes and you’re like : OMG, NO.

It’s a whole story, and there are many ways to live it : you can cut all bonds (or your parents can do it for you if your family’s cursed), you can do “as if” and see them the less possible, you can just argue, etc… All of it, almost, becomes impossible. You have to overtake something, right?

 

At one moment, YOU become a father, a mother :

  1. If you’re a normal person, you won’t even notice that your child is now a teenager then an adult judging you. You’re strong, and sure, and you play the “Bahhh the younglings they understand nothing”.
  2. If you’re aware, that’s terrible : you see this in their eyes. Now, you ARE uncool and unfashionable. Then they begin to despise you, to fight, to hate your terrible music tastes, and your movies stink. Good to you : that’s how it goes!

Their turn, soon.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

Yes it’s me on the left. And I’m on the left of the first photography and in yellow on the last…

xtr0007

 

 

 

JPFam

 

 

 

Bifaceted Mary Poppins

#together #silver #metal #couple #braderieddelille2015
#together #silver #metal #couple #braderieddelille2015

OK I’m french. My english is a frenglish, it’s rusty and wobbly, et voilà. Try me, though. I’ll do my best. I promise. If sometimes it’s too bad, just laugh at me or roll your eyes.

Each time I try to understand Mary Poppins, I take my magnifying glass (ma loupe, quoi !) and I see a bunch of paradoxes.

She comes as a nanny, but she saves “Mr. Banks” (the father, of course – it’s funny, in fact, to watch the other movie, you knowwww, Saving Mr. Banks, after Mary Poppins). Her mission is hidden, never really told. Father lost in job, cut from children, relinked : check.

Mary will “save” the father, but the mother, she won’t. The mom’s too busy for that. This situation is a complete unresolved knot : This mom is on a good way on a woman path (suffragette, remember ?) but she seems an innocent forgetful funny mother who does not care that much…

Mary is magic, but she likes organisation : cleaning the room is the first thing to do, and she’s the last to laugh at the ceiling in the tea scene, after many “You shouldn’t”. Is she a Virgo ? Look at the way she’s dressed : poor, but strict. Tight, almost. But magic, graceful, of course. And a smile…

Her employer is Mr Banks, but she has her own way to “listen to orders and do her own way” (letting the poor Banks in perplexity).

It’s a movie, but there are animated parts. Dick van Dyke is Bert, Mary’s friend, but also Mr. Dawes Sr, the old director of the Bank.

Spit, but spot, too : Spit-Spot !

This character is an Archetype. The Intruder coming from outside, and revealer of things, trigger of changes. Is she an Intercessor ? An Angel ?

Levers :

Find your own levers, come on ! Archetypes are seeds. Think : revealer, bifacets, hidden missions, wrong ways up, intruders, reconnections and paradoxes…

After all, maybe you need to be saved, too ?

Think about how lucky you are, the day you find your Mary…

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