“What am I gonna do with you?”

Tonight is a good evening. I watched a terribly bad B-Movie (in France we call these “Film Z”, a Z-movie – makes sense?), called Beyond Skyline.

There are two types of low budget Sci-Fi movies. This one is bad. Dialogs like “Move Move Move!”, or “It’s OK! Ok? Okey…”.

But I liked this one, in a way, because there’s a really genuine will to do good. And it’s so bad! Poor guys!

The other type is the Monsters type ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1470827/ ) by Gareth Edwards, who directed since : Godzilla and Rogue One. Monsters was penniless but fantastic, great, inventive, gorgeous, magic!

 

In the beginning of Beyond Skyline I found this article idea :

A father (a cop) tries to talk to his son (a rebel) in the tube (before the ETs attack the Earth, OK?), and he says him :

“What am I gonna do with you?”

 

Oh I love that sentence!!!

And well, this is the subject of this article.

“What am I gonna do with you?” means a lot.

It says something about “a link, but”. About the complexity of life. About love. About something positive (I talk to you) but negative (you’re a mess, man!). This dance of love and bond and difficulties is one of the cores of life…

“What am I gonna do with you?”

What does it mean? What kind of smile dances around it? Why? What is it to be a mess (but I need you around)? Isn’t it the REASON why we like the person, though?

 

Thanks for reading! (it’s my 800th article!)

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Conversation, Essays, Eyes

You’re alone in the quiet, at home. You grab a book.

If it’s a novel, it’s perfect : you get into a dream. You see things…

Tonight I wanted a conversation instead. So I picked a book from Siri Hustvedt (The Shaking Woman) and a glass of Chardonnay.

I opened the book in the middle of random (it’s something I love to do) and read great pages about how a new born baby and his mother stare at each other. This deep each other’s look means so much, so many things happen. A bond is building. An intelligence is blooming…

(I remember I did this, with Lili and Eliette, my daughters)

Hustvedt explains that if a mother talks to a baby and waits a little, the baby answers – in his own… voice.

An essay is like having a part of a conversation. The part where you just listen. Just choose your partner well! It’s OK – even if you miss the partner’s questions, the slow ping-pong of spirits.

And the eyes…

I wrote this. Now I’m back to my chair. Bidou the cat on me knees. Hi Siri!

Conversation.

Thanks for reading!

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Drawn up Ping Pong : Slow Motion Conversation

Wrong way up for children : Tablets & TV

Parents think that their child is a genius, or at least, “is on advanced for his age”.

Thus, a computer tablet looks like perfection : with letters, words, multiplications, that’s very cool!

But many studies showed something : there shouldn’t be a single minutes of “screens” time before the age of 3. And no tablet before 6.

Child development is a big thing. They have to grow so many aspects! TV before 3 and tablets before 6 is messing with motor and language development, socialization skills and empathy.

I talked many times with speech pathologists who say that screens (TV all the time, tablets for preschooler) are a disaster. And they told me it’s becoming a real problem today…

And also this : “High exposure to background TV has been found to negatively affect language use and acquisition, attention, cognitive development and executive function in children younger than 5 years”

In France, one man (Serge Tisseron) studied that for years. He talks about the rule of 3-6-9-12

  1. No screen before 3. Not a minute.
  2. TV OK, but no video game or tablet before 6.
  3. They’re OK, but no Internet before 9, with a parent.
  4. Internet OK after 12, with care.

Before 5 years old, never more than an hour a day.

Google : “screen time children development”

What do you think?

 

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Surprising Reversibilities

– I owe you so much!
– No no no, it’s I who owe you…

 

  1. A therapist takes care of his patient.
  2. Stravinsky or Hindemith were influenced by Bach.
  3. Someone is watching and analyzing a painting.

All these three examples are simple and clear. You can draw the arrow, right?

We thinkers like to go deeper, though. To find nuances, subtleties :

  1. There are many ways of listening, of helping someone…
  2. What are the elements which makes us notice the influence?
  3. What do we seek – and find in Arts? An emotion? Links?

You can spend months on each, reading books. Refining concepts is a bliss, right? Good!

 

Today I study one thing : reversibility. It’s meeting a surprise “the other way around”, and it’s charged with intensity :

  1. A therapist suddenly talks about himself. Instead of listening, he tells his own story. The patient is suddenly captivated. This is a well known trick in this field! Psychotherapists say it gives a stronger link (therefore a power) on a patient. Adding humanity in the bond is a strange and powerful idea…
  2. Many specialists come to a point where they see where is Bach in Hindemith, but also that there is some Hindemith (1895-1963) in Bach (1665-1750). Two centuries before, OK, but you can study this the other way around – even if you think it’s “not OK”. It’s a game for spirits, to study how the now can be seen as an influence for the past.
  3. An Art lover studies a painting, a music, and he realizes it works in the other way : the piece of work moves him, changes him, teaches him, overwhelms him. You explore yourself through another person’s work. You are amazed by unconscious and historical forces at stake. Your skin (or your guts) are activated. Astonishment is a trigger for your brain. Then, maybe, you’re… slaked (and this can be in MANY ways), right?

 

A child comes from a mother, a father. But parents are also transformed by the coming. In the end, the person who is a child gives parents… motherhood and fatherhood.

Mhhh I like that. You feel that I touch something here, oui? Where, in what other examples can you imagine this reversibility process? Business? Couple? Creativity? Ads? Poetry? Where, when it’s obvious “things are going this way”, could you reverse something? Therefore what?

Thanks for reading!

 

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Nipplet Cork Pacifier Drama

In French, we call a nipple “un téton”. And a pacifier is called “une tétine”.

Therefore, you can imagine that we almost say “a nipplet” instead of “a pacifier”. Une tétine.

Makes sense, oui?

I have two daughters, they are 16 and 19, and they never had a “pacifier”.

The reason is : I am sure a pacifier is useless, and vulgar, even harmful.

A pacifier is a cork. Baby’s crying, cork him! Shut him off!

And more : A pacifier, for a baby, is an external solution. Therefore this future human being will never find a way to cope – out of a “thing”.

Later, as an adult, it’ll stay the same. Something else – or someone else – will be the fix. He’ll need a cigarette, or a bigger car, or to buy things, to try to get better. Or eating. Or pills.

A cigarette is a pacifier. Bulimia is a pacifier. Etc.

I stop here. All this cork thing is overboring. Almost as boring as paying someone to drill your nose to put a ring into it – and then you do look like a cow. Feel better now you have one? Happy? Corked?

Sucking to feel safe, it is insane. It’s deep inner drama. It creates a disastrous brain : “I need something to calm down”. Drama, problems, money, intoxications. No pacifier, it’s better. They’ll survive… You’ll survive, and find solutions from the inside of you. Knowledge.

And realizing this : there is no “solution”, eventually.

This is wisdom!

 

Dial : You had one as a kid? Thus now what is your pacifier made of?

 

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Instagram : _bodylanguage_

The courage to shatterbreak what’s crackweakening : Chronicle 19

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

H. L. Mencken

 

Le courage de briser ce qui commence à se fêler : The courage to shatterbreak what’s crackweakening.

 

We have a French word between to break and to shatter : briser. So I’ll say shatterbreak, voilà. Briser is often used for glass, but also for the silence : We don’t say “casser le silence” (to break the silence), but “briser le silence”. More : “des bris de verre” are little pieces of broken glass. It seems that in English, “broken glass” contains “little pieces” of broken glass.

I know, split hairs… in four.

 

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There are two types of spouse : those who say nice things about their spouse in public, and those who denigrate him/her there.

 

It’s a clear splendid day of November and you have two kids. Do you go downtown in toy stores to hear your kids screaming asking and yelling at you to buy this and that, or do you go playing in the sun, watch them running under trees and hitting piles of dead leaves?

 

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Idea for a story beginning : a TV star meets someone who NEVER watches TV (he doesn’t even own one), who therefore doesn’t recognize him/her.

 

Lures. What kind? What for? Made by who? Oneself?

 

Have a nice week end!

 

JP

 

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It’s fall! Listen to Brahms! Or Takemitsu…

 

Dare to listen to this really?