Discouraged

I talked with a lady in her sixties, a teacher for teens with special needs.

She has thirty kids, only two know how to read.

Others are deaf, or mentally handicapped, or both.

Birth problems, etc…

She works in little groups with them.

She was discouraged and angry, on every level I asked her :

  1. Other teachers saying “I couldn’t do what you do!”.
  2. No recognition of her work, she is never valued for what she does.
  3. All things, schemes, structures she invented will be lost when she’ll retire. Frustration.
  4. The whole system (school, parents, society) seems to say to her : “Keep all this with you behind this door and don’t make waves”.
  5. She contacted editors to make a book about everything she found, and got only answers like “The market is too little, no way”.
  6. Most of the kids she worked with for years have absolutely not a chance to progress.
  7. She could help them one by one but has no resources and no time to do that.
  8. Every political man she met tells : “Money in this field is for autism, and the minimum for other mental handicap”.

Thus, well : she waits four more years before retirement.

In this conversation, I tried every door : sharing what she learnt in a book, or in a web page, writing to editors to find a way to make a book, asking also about leverages she could activate which each kid (“Where’s the possible progress”), but I found discouragement, which is heartbreaking, right?

Biking home, I remembered the rules of human problems :

  1. You can go away.
  2. You can change the way things are.
  3. You can change your hopes.
  4. You can just shut up.

Well, I think she’ll wait a few years before resting home. I think the most difficult part of her job is… it’s not valued by anybody. And we all need recognition, right?

What are the lessons here? In this situation, what’s the answer? To let go? Why is it so hard to be “not valued”? Why do I alway focus on “How do you share your knowledge before it’s lost?”.

More : what can we expect from this level of despondency? Quitting? Explosion? Ways of withdrawal?

Thanks for reading!

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aykutmaykut

 

Possible Rule against Problems

The gap between the real and the hoped

The loss of the suffering

 

 

 

 

Paul Valéry : « A difficulty is a light. An insurmountable difficulty…

Paul Valéry : “A difficulty is a light. An insurmountable difficulty is a sun”.

Une difficulté est une lumière. Une difficulté insurmontable est un soleil.

Yessss you could say it like that : “Challenges are good”, but P. V. is a poet, right?

This quote itself is an example of why I love this thinker. Two short sentences and here you are, wondering. “A sun?”. And this guy does this all the time…

Valéry’s notebooks are exhausting, because you never stop navigating into clouds of great ideas, seeds, impulsions for the mind.

 

Hmmm what do I get?…

  1. A way to apply Amor Fati, “I love what happens to me”.
  2. If it’s difficult it’s entertaining, challenging.
  3. It’s a light : if you incorportate the difficulty to your process, it can be a purpose, a support, a help for life map drawing.
  4. Then it’s really a “light” : a difficulty in a process shows you something, a way, a path.
  5. You can’t touch the sun, nor contemplate it, but it can be a center, a warmth provider, a milestone.
  6. People will ask you why you do it; then they ask you how.
  7. Does the process change you (the light)? Forever (the sun)?
  8. Are diffculties surprises? What is a map? How do we find/draw it?
  9. What if the difficulty come from inside you?
  10. A fool fails because he doesn’t see what’s difficult. What is difficult forces you to think, therefore can make light bulbs appear in your head.
  11. How do YOU read it?

 

Let Jean de la Bruyère tell us the pre-final word :

Les miracles naissent des difficultés

Out of difficulties grow miracles

 

And Wittgenstein gives us a present for the end :

Nous attendons à tort une explication alors que c’est une description qui est la solution de la difficulté.

We are wrongly expecting an explanation, whereas the solution of the difficulty is a description.

 

Thanks for reading!

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Instagram : bodylanguage

To study your field & problems : use History or Geography?

History & Geography are cousins, right? Today I wondered about this : To study your field & problems : use History or Geography?

This is exactly the kind of stupid question I like to play with – sorry.

 

First you have to define what the problem is. You have ten minutes.

 

Then :

If you use History‘s tools, you will find elements, predictions (“where does it go?”), understandings from “where does it come from”, time (“when”)…

If you use Geography‘s tools, you’ll find things about the “wheres” : territories, movements, possibilities linked to them…

 

Oh! Wait a second!

What about other disciplines? Topology? Architecture? Literature? Of course, Psychology or Sociology – but one don’t need an article to think about it…

Inappropriate disciplines to study a problem, here it is.

 

Take your brain, pick up a random tool. Inappropriately dig in your problem. Find a surprising solution to it. Bingo.

 

You can also read :

The Extreme Upper Register of the Bassoon, story of the Wrong Tool

“Displacing Concepts” : from #Architecture to #Poetry ?

 

Thanks for reading!

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Instagram : omardarling22

 

The gap between the real and the hoped

“L’écart entre le réel et l’espéré” : The gap between the real and the hoped…

When the gap is too wide, what happens? We drift.

Drifting is boat vocabulary. You can say you’re out of gas. Or you’re stuck. Parked. You’re powerless. Whatever.

Drifting means you have no steam and you let go. Maybe you watch. Maybe you wait. Maybe you think. Drifting is interesting. Be angry. Or zen. You could get lost… That’s maybe cool!

If you know the 4 laws of action when you have a problem, when you have a gap between the real and the hoped :

  1. You can go away. No gap any more, because the hope has gone.
  2. You can change the way things are. New boat. New rivers…
  3. You can change your hopes. Invent new ones.
  4. You can just shut up – and accept the gap.

 

Meantime, drift. Wait. Quarrel. Drown. Insist. Watch. Endure. Actualize.

You have the right to say no to “Don’t forget to smile”. Drifting people who fakesmile on their boat look like lunatics!

Stand up, though. The horizons could signal.

 

OK. There’s always hope : Remember to smile back, one day!

Have a nice day!

 

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Possible Rule against Problems

A rule which stipulates that one should never set as a goal to solve totally and definitively a problem.

Une règle qui stipule que l’on ne doit jamais se fixer pour but de résoudre totalement et définitivement un problème.

 

Why?

Was it a “good” problem? What is a good problem after all?

It kept you busy? It makes you think, and evolve?

Problem as a chance?

Solving problem as an exhausting (and idiot) goal? Because it’s impossible?

Accepting and confine the problem? Having enough strength to transform the problem into an ally?

I let you play with this concept a little more. THEN, you can apply the little tool to a real problem : an enemy, a relationship, the evil, something inside you, stupidity, a goal too hard to reach?

Thanks for reading!

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Instagram : littlebohoblog

 

Books to awestruckheal your worries?

We all have worries and overthinking hours. We often superthink about “what will happen”, and… OK, there’s a concept here I’d like to present to you :

Affective Forecasting : which is “to predict your future emotional state”. You worry about what you WILL feel, your future emotions, their duration, and their intensity. Ohlalaaaa !

Your mind, like mine, has more superpowers : the capacity to overthink the past. It’s a whole mess, right? You do and redo what happened, and you imagine what you could or should have said or done, etc. You have hours in the night to to that, right?

What to do, que faire ?

Books. You can easily find novels and accounts about betrayals and despair and divorce if you’re in a break-up, about illness if you have some health problems, about crazy job stories if your manager hates you. It’s about understanding. You’d be amazed by what people go through. “We’re not alone”, “you’ll learn from that”, etc.

But there are books about worse situations, which can put your story in perspective and detach yourself from your mess. It’s not about understanding yourself, but about awestruck (waow, THIS is a frightening word!). The OMG books, if you want.

Personally I’d choose something real about WWII or these terrible stories about USSR and gulag. Yes it’s a little awkward, to breathe differently and watch the sky when you think about “worse”, earthquakes, burning cities, epidemics or working class centuries ago. Shit happens and can hit the fan, but there you’ll see that there are BIGGER FANS, much bigger. For gulag, I suggest Shalamov.

Until…

Thanks for reading!

Russian trio to begin :
Shalamov : Kolyma Tales
Grossman : A Writer at War
Alexievich : Secondhand Time

 

#sadness #tears #train #carol

Overthinking Ways

The memory is cursed with what hasn’t happened, says Marguerite Duras, and that’s a good example of overthinking. In fact, it’s the seed of a whole tree!

What are ways of overthinking? What are the subjects? The past (what it’s been, what it could have been). The future(s). About what you did or will do (or say). And I’ll stop it here : you perfectly know your ways of overthinking!

What are the ways OUT of this curse (which it is, right?). Most books show these paths :

  1. Mindfulness
  2. Dare and do something

Voilà! You just saved a bunch of money! Put these books back in the shelves!

1 Mindfulness is a way to focus on the now (let the past sleep/just enable the future) – well, you can try!

2 Acting-Doing has many good effects, from “keeping you busy” to “stop thinking a bit”, by way of “changing what I can”… instead of thinking about it.

Tool :

Of course you can use another path, which could be “smart overthinking”, taking a wheel (if you find it) to drive it somewhere else, to tame it, to use it, to link it with others – or with books (which is the same), to divide it up like a sheaf, to make it a dance, to fight it, to… What about you?

You go girl! Merci et bonne route! Thanks for reading.

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“Axe for the Tree?” – 4 Ways to deal with problems

I’m blogging about tools for the brain, you know, little things your can apply. Aujourd’hui : la hache !

The Axe is one of them. It’s a radical one. The symbol of : I chop it.

So when you have a problem as a painter, a composer, a company CEO, a friend, a car pilot, a wife, a singer, a blogger, a gardener : examine your problem and you will find that there are only a few ways to deal with it.

  • You can try to fix it (take your toolbox)
  • You can welcome it and use it to invent a better thing (the problem seen as luck)
  • You can chop it (take your axe)
  • You can adapt (accept that there’s a problem : nobody’s perfect)

 

The painter made a pink mistake. He can paint over it. He can use the mistake to add an interesting element to the picture. He can trash the painting. He can keep the flaw and call his painting : “The Pink Problem”.

The composer got mixed up with tracks on his computer and a trumpet played the piano, how wrong! He can fix and put it back to piano, compose a new track full of new ideas lead by the error, he can trash the whole piece of music, he can keep the trumpet mistake and bend the music into an awkward dance.

The CEO hired a guy who’s a bit crazy at times. He can straighten him out in his office. He can put him into a creative team of brainstormers. He can fire him. He can… warn the other employees.

You have a friend, but he made a mistake, or hurt you one day. You can try to talk, make peace, forgive and go on “like before”. You can try to understand what happened, and invent a new way to be friends. You can use your axe and never talk to him/her again, ever. You can change the way you see this person, who is now more “complete”, more fragile, more human : you know his/her dark side.

Tool :

  • The Axe is a powerful tool which just “shuts the door” to a problem. It’s very solemn, but we sometimes have to use it!

We know that other solutions exists, though :

  • you can work on you and adapt, and get richer of experience.
  • you can work on the source of the problem to understand and fix it.
  • you can also tango with reality and understand its imperfections…

Well, you could throw your axe and mix the 3 others, no?

  • Your marriage is drowning in silence : divorce, or change, dialog, make it grow again, find a new, a richer way to live with your spouse?
  • Your blog has no readers : shut it down, or find new ways to get readers, change your way to write, to present it, or just be more patient?
  • This little sick tree in your garden, you ravage it, or you take care of it and accept he won’t be as tall as you thought?

What will you choose?

Thanks for reading!

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Bag of Knots

One day you realise that there’s a day behind you, which you don’t understand at all. A day full of arguments or misunderstanding or bad behaviour or errors. It’s a Bag of Knots. Un “Sac de Nœuds”, voilà. You, with your ability of thinking and deconstructing and put things in order, you dream or you think that you maybe could open the Bag of Knots and watch the knots inside and pick one or two of them. There are strings, visible strings. Knots. Dark places and cores in the middle of the knots. You could fix that, after all. Deknotting by deknitting. Getting things better, and straight. With enough time and method, you could do it. But you don’t, because it’s a Bag of Knots. Let it be. Sitting here in the shadow. Full of misunderstandings. Give up. It’s too much, too complicated. You could fix it, but you won’t. It is what it is. You don’t have the steam. You want to watch in front of you. You don’t want to deknot. Let the bag closed. There’s no deknotting.

(OK, it’s “unknot”, I’m french, sorry 🙂

Tool : Some problems can not be “fixed”. Stop examining. Just draw a black circle on your map. You’ve been there and you failed. What doesn’t kill you…

#oldchairs #chairs #chaises
#oldchairs #chairs #chaises