Overreacting as a seed for dialog

When you see in a friend, a lover, a parent, overreacting like crazy, you’re stunned, and floored, your mouth stays open, you look like a ridiculous dead frog.

“What the f… is happening here ?”

You can try to dialog but you quickly find out, as a rule, that it’s impossible. Run !

Your first reaction, you embarrassing silly fool, by the way, is try to weave back a conversation. If you find this person is overreacting, don’t say “You overreacting, no ?”.

It does not work, obviously.

OK. Go away. Shut up. Think.

If someone reacts this way, to “something” you just find different, funny or just pleasantly challenging, you have to understand that you touched a nerve, you struck a chord, you hit a heartstring, whatever (HOW do I say this in english, good people ? – in France we say “Toucher une corde sensible”, to touch a sensitive rope).

If you like this person, his or her overreaction should activate your empathy. It’s a good thing. Watch, listen, remember, try to understand. Your cultural standards are different, the “other” doesn’t always fit. That’s life and that’s a dance. Learn.

You need time, then you can cautiously try to dialog. Find the nerve. Hug (this friendship is precious, right ?). Hug again. Smile. You also have your own shit to deal with.

Dial/Tool :

Seeing a good person overreacting is a seed for empathy and dialog. You’ll know your friend better, strengths and flaws included. We all have to learn how to navigate around the people we love. What you find “innocent” can be a big, a HUGE deal for this one. Learn. And work to find out and understand what happened. It’s worth it. It is !

Do you know your own chords ? Where should people NOT tickle you ?


Strangeization Tool & Eyebrow Criteria

When in front of a piece of art, some music, a photograph, a painting or a movie, some might want to feel pleasure, or emotion, or simply “find it beautiful”, or feel nostalgic, or energy-moved, whatever.

My triggering thing is the Eyebrow Criteria. I want to feel one eyebrow (or more : my two eyebrows) coming up. Up up up !

Does it mean I want to be surprised ? Yes.

Because THEN my little analysis-brain begins to work with a question : “What is happening here ?”. Ohhh this is SO good !

The artist is playing with us. He has many possibilities to do this. One of my favorites is :


Strangeization is a concept invented by the Russians (well, in Wiki they call it Defamiliarization), saying simply that you can avoid the boring “I’ve seen this” elements in art… by adding strange things. A way to disturb the lukewarmness of our perspective.

I found this painting on Instagram in the middle of dozens of pictures, I suddenly stopped, both of my eyebrows went up : OK, the light and the colors are cool but mainly, this picture is flooding me with surprises. Flying roses. The angle of view. The body attitudes of both the characters. The white rose. Is it drama ? What is happening here ? Is it a dream ?

This a good strange. Thank you !

Dials : The dials are your eyebrows. You should pay attention to them.

Levers : Well, you got it. Adding strange elements to your art or to your product can be useful to re-catch an audience, lost into familiarity…

Really ? How ? Why ?

#Repost @aykutmaykut with @repostapp・・・ all roses are red
#Repost @aykutmaykut – “all roses are red”


The weirdelicious shame of loving a part of vulgaire…

OK I’m french. My english is a frenglish, it’s rusty and wobbly, et voilà. Try me, though. I’ll do my best. I promise. If sometimes it’s too bad, just laugh at me or roll you eyes.


Today I bought a bad painting, secondhand, in the street. It’s just… ordinaire. Nothing really surprising in the colors, the texture, the light, nothing. The flowers : no. I just saw it and wanted to take a picture, in the street, for Instagram, when I saw something. My eyebrows moved upstairs, haha. Up.

Climbing Eyebrows Criteria…

Well, I bought it ! 3 € only. Let’s say $3.40. I brought it home and wondered about her expression (Thoughtful because of the past, the future ? Tea’s cold ? A decision to make ?) and the source of the cold expression I find (eyebrows ?) for a long moment.

Since this I wonder. In the different worlds of Art : la musique, les films, l’architecture, what’s happening when we are touched and moved by a single, a tiny element of a bothering piece of… ok, Art ? A phrase in a mendelssohn sonata ? A ray of light in an ugly church ? A miracle scene in a B-movie ? A few words of magic in a bad poem ?

Lever : What is the surprise here ? How does it work in our brain ? What kind of struggle do we fight ?

Tool : What if we choose méthodiquement to DIG into a hangar of pigshit (well, with good protection), just to find gold nuggets ?

Well, in fact : it’s a NO from me. Let’s keep it random. Let’s find gold nuggets without digging into dirt. Mental health’s important. Bim.