Everything that goes wrong…

Hi everybody!

I heard about a Tai Chi teacher, an old Chinese woman living in France, who used to say a mysterious sentence to the students.

“C’est ce qui ne va pas qui va”

…which sounds like a typical Oriental brain-teaser riddle like “Everything is in everything and reciprocally”.

What does that mean? How to translate it?

  • Everything that goes wrong goes right
  • This is what does not go that goes
  • Only wrong things are moving forward
  • What goes wrong goes right
  • What doesn’t go goes

 

This sentence is a bit like the Toltec thing. A few words compacted in a seed.

 

The first Toltec agreement says : “Don’t make assumptions”, and the fifth : “Be skeptical (use the power of doubt to question everything you hear)”.

I love that because it’s a loop, and it’s incoherent (to question everything is to make infinite assumptions). And in a way that’s life!

Also this : Ruiz’s agreements are injunctions, orders : Do this/Don’t do this. It’s very Occidental (we all this like this, right? : If this then that (consequences)).

“What doesn’t go… goes” is more Oriental. It’s an assessment, a fact, almost a report. An observation!

 

OK. When you think about it, it works! The perfect image of the grain of sand in the oyster : this makes a pearl.

Nietzsche is more lyrical : “One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.”

And also, in a way, it’s the Amor Fati wisdom, the love of fate. You can (and have to) decide that what happens… happens. It’s better to accept it. If it’s wrong, we can maybe decide it’s right :

…it’ll make you stronger, it’ll make you think, it’ll show you new path.

On our need to be disturbed…

“What goes wrong goes right”, hey, it’s the title of my future book, OK? Don’t steal it, please!

Have a nice day!

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Toltecking a crying colleague

Many people smile when they open this book, the Toltec Agreements. One does not understand why it’s such a hit, constantly and in many countries. “Always do your best, hahaha I don’t need a book to know this, right?”.

Well, they are printed and pinned on the wall in my apartement. Little by little they probably impregnate the guy…

A few months ago I toltecked a colleague, a young woman bawling her eyes out walking out a meeting with a rude manager. She needed to talk, obviously. What I told her followed the book by the book… but unthinkingly.

Of course there are many ways to deal with managers who manage nothing and then yell once in a while. You can fight back (man to man or with union), you can protect-mute, you can don’t-give-a-shit or quit, choose your way). My way is to deal with these like with the weather (I wrote about it here : Marcus Aurelius VS bad management).

 

  1. It’s useless to comment, you can’t fix anybody. Let go and inner erase what bothers you. Focus on good people.
  2. People deal with their strange patterns, their dispositions (from culture, childhood, etc). It’s interesting.
  3. Trying to guess what’s happening and “why is this” is losing time. Sometimes it rains.
  4. Focus on what’s important in your job, and do it well for colleagues or clients.

 

Have a nice day!

 

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The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

 

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Irrelevant Fishes & Tetris Moods : Humans as Problems to Solve?

My previous article quoted S. Shore about photography :

“A photographer solves a picture, more than composes one.”

 

At first you want to think that it’s wrong – or at least “too easy”, but you have to admit there’s something intriguing here. To “solve” a picture… To find its balance, maybe? It’s stayed as a seed in my brain.

 

In the eighties I was in University and a friend of mine told me this story :

“I played so much Tetris these last days that this morning, as I was interviewed by a guy for a job, I saw all of his questions like Tetris tetrapods : I just had to move them, rotate them until they fit into my brain”.

 

OK, this is a puzzle. Here are some pieces :

  1. The idea of “solving” a photography
  2. Communication from another human being seen as a Tetris game (four square blocks geometric tiles moved sideways and rotated until it fits with no “gaps”)
  3. Marcus Aurelius’ constant pattern telling that the problem is not reality (therefore “the others”) but the way we react or not – which depends on us only
  4. The third Toltec Agreement : “Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering…”

 

See my workshop table? Some of you will get me, will see me coming. Recenter. You decide. Logic against feelings. The limits of all this. Watching/listening to others. Empathy. Etc.

I’ll have to write a bit more to sort all of it.

Some say that to blog is a way to learn things, right?

The 3rd Agreement risk is to consider others like irrelevant fishes in an aquarium, or something like “the weather” – but it can be an asset. Could be.

(to be continued)

 

Have a nice day!

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