The wish for mentor

Mentor sounds good. It’s not a guru – where you feel it’s toxic, too much, manipulation. It’s not a guide. It’s maybe in the middle…

It’s not a muse, nor an authority, it’s not a coach, not your parents, or disturbers.

I’m reading Irving Yalom‘s autobiography, where he tells his constant need, during his growing life, for a mentor. An adult person who would have “detected” his uniqueness, his talents, his whatever makes one special…

Then, this person would guide you a little, would show you things you should know, and would probably tell your parents (who aren’t aware, of course).

It’s a cousin-pattern of many things, linked to Types,

  • like the teacher who unblocks you with a single phrase,
  • the uncle who offers you a magnifier (or a telescope),
  • the best friend who marks/scars you forever with a single innocent observation,
  • the soul-mate lover who disturbed you so much you’re reconfigured in the whole of you, or almost.

Wishing you had a mentor is almost a Type in itself : overthinkers, introverts, shy people, book lovers, quiet seekers.

Everybody needs attention and understanders (and I think it’s why some love stories are so intense), good conversation lovers, listeners, good askers. Here, it’s something else, right? Not sure…

Every other helper I listed here can embody the role of the Mentor… one needs. Someone who gets you, even in a 2 seconds sentence,

  1. points you out to others
  2. shows you possible paths (doors, windows)

 

Well, we should NOT need that, but… we do what we can!

Have you met a mentor? Have you been a mentor to a kid? Should you? How?

 

Thanks for reading!

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The Inside Idea of North

Had a good laugh this morning, having coffee on the bed and imagining a tropical happy flowery trumpets ambiance…

Which would be like being in hell, right?

I can’t talk much before my coffee, I don’t want a crazy happy dog (who wanna jog with me) at breakfast, and I don’t want a Cuban/Mexican brass band near my bed…

I need quietness – maybe a little Satie piano music if you want. I’m happy to see the cat lounging on the bed, and a few triangles of sun on the wooden floor. Basking silence…

 

I live in the North of France, it’s 34°F this morning, with a perfect cold wintery sun outside leaving bright still frames everywhere in the room. I talked yesterday with a guy who lived a few years in the South of France, who told me he was depressed by the solid blue skyed “great weather” of Nice or Toulouse : “Give me passing clouds, mist, showers and snow, give me low angle lights and pale blue skies…”.

It’s relative, because North of France is the very South of Norway, for example, right? Do people in North California have the same feeling, the “comfort of being from the North” (even if the State is only 170 years old)? Then, what about Oregon? what’s the North, for Morocco or Tunisia?

Is Autumn comforting to you? Like “Ahhh we’re home!”? Do you prefer Sibelius (Finland) or Villa Lobos (Brazil)? Cat or Dog? North or South? Have a walk in a forest, or party in Cuban bar?

Have a nice sunday!

BooksTeaCat, SportsBeerDog & their Social Interactions

 

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Soil Festivities (or taming)

That’s an old tale : watch inside a home, or even a bedroom, and you’ll guess a lot about the owner.

Then the contrary : hear the “judge” know-it-alling about it, and you’ll guess a lot about his mind…

  1. If it’s a mess, you too much easily could tell about a messy brain – maybe the owner’s mind is not completely orderly. Maybe he suffers, or maybe he’s a genius artist, maybe he’s silly. See? You can say everything thus nothing, in fact.
  2. If the bed’s done like a funeral one, and the pajamas are perfectly daily folded on “this” chair (and not another one), THEN you can tell…

Today with you, my reader, let’s gossip the same way about a garden.

When I think about a garden, I think about peace and silence, butterflies and dragonflies, about the grass I could walk on post commuting evenings. I think flowers, curiosity, trying to plant and take care about unknown species, watering, welcoming birds, combining these green/colored friends together for harmony, I think breathing little winds and smelling roses (and the earth, the soil).

Soil Festivities is the title of a great album of Vangelis.

Then I hear some people about their garden. All they talk about is invasion of spiders and nasty caterpillars, chaos to be contained, trimming everything around and cutting/pruning trees. Everything’s a enemy. They want order, taming, obedience, snapping scissors on short grass.

Tonight I realized they maybe want to repair, to fix, to contain nature, instead of repairing, fixing, containing events of their now life or past life, probably… right?

 

(Crummy psychology, I know. I’m sorry. I wish I had a garden to wander in. I’m jealous, that’s it!)

 

Today I took this picture. I offer it to you. Thank you for reading!

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Essays & Acknowledgments (& Types)

I read much more essays than novels, therefore I read introductions, prefaces, and… acknowledgments. I read them, because the list – and the way the author presents the list – tells something.

There are Types :

  1. The assistant (who helped to gather or organize informations)
  2. The editor (who brought energy and I-believe-in-yous)
  3. The colleague (who pointed out problems in the text or provided ideas for chapters)
  4. The spouse (for his/her unfailing support)
  5. The friend (who helped blossoming with his/her constant questions)
  6. The friend (and his/her potential enthusiasm)
  7. The influencer
  8. The predecessor (“this essay takes over from…”)
  9. The ignorant (towards whom (oh crap, is this even English?) the author had to explain, therefore helped to think “readers”)
  10. The collaborator (who provided elements or parts of the essay)
  11. The spellchecker (can be the friend or the spouse, ha)
  12. The leader (who asked the author to write for a bigger project, for example)
  13. The muse (just being him/her – radioactive influence)
  14. The Obi Wan Kenobi figure (a master who can propel you with a single sentence)

 

Who else?

 

Do you have any of these for your… blog? Would you need one? Why?

 

Have a nice day!

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BooksTeaCat, SportsBeerDog & their Social Interactions Necessities – #INTJ

ONE

Introverts. We’re all a tribe.

There are labels we tend to like to read about us. INTJ, Empaths, Introverts, Thinkers…

We read memes about us with a smile.

Responsibilities and social interactions needs cursors at the minimum : we prefer to think alone, in front of beautiful nature, or with our saint trilogy (a book a tea a cat), under a blanket, watching the rain by the window. We love conversations… one to one.

TWO

And then, the other side. Extroverts, Go-ahead people, Fast people, Managers, people who like groups, parties, responsibilities, goals, etc…

THREE

When an introvert is bored, it’s sort of OK. She (I call her a she in this article, OK?) dreams, she opens a book, goes for a walk – or opens a bottle of French wine before writing a poem.

When an extrovert is bored, he’s (I call him a he, OK?) depressed. Something’s wrong. Routine is not OK at all. He becomes grey, and looks for “things to do” – which are often displacing his body (hunting, running, biking, driving, whatever) or finding goals (or anything that can bring a sense of success).

FOUR

But in the end, we all need social interactions. All this is pretty well told by the Hedgehog’s Dilemma :

The hedgehog’s dilemma, or sometimes the porcupine dilemma, is a metaphor about the challenges of human intimacy. It describes a situation in which a group of hedgehogs seek to move close to one another to share heat during cold weather. They must remain apart, however, as they cannot avoid hurting one another with their sharp spines. Though they all share the intention of a close reciprocal relationship, this may not occur, for reasons they cannot avoid.

The hedgehog’s dilemma suggests that despite goodwill, human intimacy cannot occur without substantial mutual harm, and what results is cautious behavior and weak relationships. The hedgehog’s dilemma is used to explain introversion and isolationism.

(Wikipedia)

FIVE

A new job, a project, a success. We met new people, we’ve been in groups, yeyyy!

The Extrovert got oxygen. He feels happy, and alive. Grey’s gone, he’s like a clean engine in the sun! He goes running with his dog! He smiles back and his wife is proud.

The Introvert got oxygen too. She feels happy… to be back home. She has new ideas of musics and books, seeds for conversations. Look at her, now : she’s reading, petting her cat’s head. Both are purring…

Her husband cuddles her, smiling, or… runs with the dogs. Depends of the type!

 

Thanks for reading!

 

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