You’ve been there before, I’m sure : you meet someone who listens, or seems to understand your preoccupations, and you realize you can maybe really talk with this person… and then you scare this person with your intensity (or your long emails).
I found this paragraph in a 1903 letter from Rainer Maria Rilke to Lou Andreas-Salomé. I did my best and tried a poor English translation :
… I always fall straightway, with all the weight of my passion, at the bottom, and I scare people, as would make a premature (almost unseemly) familiarity, by approaching at once the most secret and deepest layers; It is a fault, not to say a coarseness, of which they wonder, and to me a fault, a mania which excludes all real contact (that is to say, useful and fertile) with them;
So I decided to call this the Rilke Syndrome.
It triggers questions, right?
- What happens when you realize that? Embarrassment?
- How to avoid it without becoming a “thinker on an island”?
- What happens when the other person clicks?
- How to link this syndrome to sapiosexuality? (Sapiosexual : a person who is sexually attracted to intelligence or the human mind before appearance.)
- What are the signs you are doing it?
- You INTJ or Enneagram 5, should you ask about your partner before deep talking, before revealing yourself as a fool?
- What energy pushes you to think-vent like that in front of someone? A kind of relief? Why?