Bosses of anything

Who’s in charge? The bosses, the top managers, the principals, the directors!

The boss of anything (military unit, school, store, hotel, museum, company) has to deal daily with plenty of poos : managing the managers, financial movements, meetings and decisions. Hard work!

Some are good, some are bad, but today I draw a line between two other categories, the line is a question :

Do they know the field they’re working in?

It’s a real question, because of course we all know plenty of ignorant bosses. They are maybe good in certain places of their position, after all!

But you knowwww, you see where I’m going : can you be a good army general if you know nothing about warfare? Is this school principal a good manager and decisions maker if he’s never been a teacher? How to you pilot a bookstore if you don’t like books? And what about politics?

They CAN, proof is there are plenty of these dumb fishes in our funny world! They have to make terrible things : make decisions, knowing nothing.

Happily, there are forces which can counter attack these :

  1. Some of them ignorants are smart enough to listen to those who work.
  2. Workers have the possibility to slow down stupid decisions.
  3. They can also hide the proper things to do.
  4. What else?

If you’re in charge, and you know not a spoon about the field you’re working in, be proud, you’ve come to a good position – and don’t expect respect from the guys on the ground! Do your job, get paid, try to limit your capacity of pain and nuisance. That’s already good. Let people work…

You could of course find a more logical position (where are you good at?), but if the money’s good, you’re good. Right?

Thanks for reading!

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N/N-1 Business Bullshittery

ONE

Evaluation based on numbers is a bullshite minefield. Each steps spurts numbers, statistics, calculations.

Which mean nothing but bring managers the illusion of mastery.

Digits Masters Detrimentors

TWO

The N-1 bullshite is one of most simple bullshite poo of the business world.

“Last year you made 100 – this year you make 90 : you have obviously a problem, come to my office”

But :

  1. Contingency : Maybe last year you got an unexpected big order from another company, and without this order you would have made 60, therefore you’re doing great today, but it’s hidden in numbers
  2. Market’s vagary : Maybe the “hit” you got last year is postponed this year for the month after, therefore you’ll hit the roof in a month
  3. Thus, prepare to have a “problem” next year, because of the N-1 bullshite
  4. Non significant : Maybe the “analyzed” field is too little : for example you sold 4 staplers in August 1976 and 3 in August 1977 so you’re at -25% – maybe you’ll sell 5 in a year and you’ll be great (and you become an “erratic employee”)
  5. Events : “Your stock is too high this year (+35%!)” but there’s a reason your manager ignore (there’s a big event in two weeks and you’ll sell every single piece)
  6. Not mastering the whole world : Maybe you’re at +135% but there was a shortage last year and it did not depend on you
  7. Purpose : You have a shitty manager, so you make everything possible to get him bad number-indicators… but do a great job out of numbers.
  8. Lazy colleagues : you’re alone mixed up with a team.
  9. Reality hidden by numbers : a lazy guy on a trendy field has good N/N-1 with a lousy attitude which spoils the company’s reputation (get +35% but could have made +60% with a better work), and a great team on a transitioning market gets lukewarm N/N-1 but does a great job for the company, and prepares a bright future for business.

 

Do you have any ideas I could add to this list?

THREE

Numbers are an illusion. They “show” a simple reality, most of the time completely out of the real world, which is moving, multiplugged, complex, and human. Numbers and percentages hide things. They lower your comprehension of what happens.

Talking to people is better. Being smart too. Let % flow around idiots. Have fun.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

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Instagram : mariakdolores

 

Digits Masters Detrimentors

Example 1

A film distributor hesitates about what to do with a foreign movie, thus it puts it in a few avant-garde theaters in three big cities of the USA, and makes big money, and is very happy about it, then pulls it out.

The distributor doesn’t realize the movie fiercely agitated social medias and could have made 20 times more money with a larger proposition across the country, and much much more if it let is spread by word of mouth.

Example 2

His job is to sell concert tickets 8 hours a day, he’s asked to also sale an insurance fee with each ticket. He sells 3000 tickets a day, 35% insured – which is pretty good.

While he takes a 15 minutes afternoon break, someone takes his place for cover, sells 10 tickets, 5 of them insured – 50%.

The cover guy gets big congratulations by the boss : 50% is better than 35%, right?

Example 3

Google “spurious correlations” to find hilarious graphs that “proves” that there’s a link between “Per capita consumption of cheese (US) correlates with number of people who died by becoming tangled in their bedsheets” or “German passenger cars sold in the US correlates with Suicides by crashing of motor vehicle”.

Then be afraid, because it happens all the time in your company.

Example 4

In a medium size city, a DIY and artists store’s boss puts a book & stationery corner. It’s pretty rare, and people come from the everywhere around to buy a magazine or a book. Each of both activities enriches the other.

A new boss arrives, watches the turnover, assures that it’s not that much, then closes the corner. Then complains the whole store revenue slowly decreases…

 

TOOL/DIAL :

Evaluation. What is it? If in one’s job one has to analyse numbers, one has all the chances to understand NOTHING.

Digits give the great illusion of mastering things. And it’s just wrong.

When a “manager” watches bunch of numbers without meeting, asking, listening to the people involved, he’s just a happy jumping goat, an ignorant.

Therefore he’s ridiculous, embarrassing, and detrimental.

What is important is not measurable with numbers.

 

Thanks for reading! (sorry for my English…)

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Entering Business Schools Duplicity

Hi everyone,

I talked a long time yesterday with a mother, whose daughter was preparing prestigious Business Schools competitive exams

…and interviews

…and tests

We agreed on this :

Out of the “knowledge” part, the whole thing is rotten. Most of these 19 years old kids are not ready to be big managers and negotiators. Therefore they have to train to FAKE.

 

I had conversations before, with guys who organize this kind of stuff.

Logic tests, they say, are so tricky that they’re not used to pick out “logical persons” AT ALL, but to handpick the… guys who are able to train themselves to do stupid logical exercises.

Or with this teacher in a big institute, saying that what, in fact, they train students to look the part – nothing more – for at least 10 minutes, in front of any specialist in the world. You know a little of everything, a surface.

 

Well, in a way that’s common sense. You swallow knowledge, but in fact you know nothing when you begin 1/ your curriculum 2/ your career. That’s not really a problem, and we all know that we mostly learn on the job, as you go along, with time and meeting people.

 

At the end we agreed on the fact that all this system will have the tendency to move aside and rule out a whole part of people who could probably be good (or great) for the courses, for the jobs.

Those who don’t like to fake.

 

Thanks for reading!

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Marcus Aurelius VS bad management

“If only the bird with the loveliest song sang,
the forest would be a lonely place.”
John James Audubon

Ahh… “If only…”.

In France we say “Avec des si on mettrait Paris en bouteille” : “With “ifs” one could put Paris into a bottle”. Makes sense, I suppose…

Bad management is pretty common. If it’s too bad you have to quit, right? It you don’t, you have to deal with it. That simple!

Some managers are lazy, or weak, or just plain stupid. Some are violent, unsteady, irrelevant or beyond understanding.

You can’t fix people, but you can fight, say “It’s enough”, etc. It’s a path, you can go N+1, or use the Union, or make a team with colleagues : I’m not talking about that today.

In front of bad management, you can choose 4 paths :

  1. Have a good ulcer. Or a breakdown.
  2. Find a way to deal with it.
  3. Fight back.
  4. Quit.

Here, Marcus Aurelius is useful :

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

OK, here’s my tool :

  1. Focus for a few minutes and think about what is your job really about.
  2. You’re paid for that, therefore do your job, the best you can.
  3. Consider management as the weather.

That’s all.

  • If you sell things, your shelf displays must be clean and interesting. Vegetable, flowers or books. Great displays. Focus!
  • If you teach, your students must listen and understand, and if they love you, you’re good. Invent tricks and watch them.
  • If you’re a journalist, write great articles, captivate your audience and do your best. Blossom smiles!
  • If you’re a truck driver, drive well and pay attention. Do your job and listen to some good music.
  • Etc. Etc.

Management?

WEATHER

It’s sunny? Good! It’s a storm, it rains, it’s cold, windy? Whatever! GOOD!

You can’t fix people. You can’t fix the weather. Focus.

Do your job, JtfC!

Have a nice day!

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Ohmylanta ! Bad #management ideas

Here are a few bad management ideas to apply if you want your team exhausted, potatosad, ineffective or bored :

  • Bossy Tinpot Dictators are the worst pain in the ass ever. One could wonder how they just find the drive to “be” that Type.
  • Delation based reports is a plague. You just pick up the worse idiots in your team and give them a little cap. Have your favorites to do this.
  • Micromanagement is exhausting. Just keep check on people and give little orders about their job (where they don’t need you at all).
  • Incompetence or cruelty? Make you team wonder if your strategy is based on one or the other…
  • Give orders without explanations, even if you know that your employees will wonder why you need this.
  • Don’t ask your team what they think how things should be done.
  • Make your team lose their time (for example to fix your mistakes).
  • Give paradoxal orders (a command that would undo the other one).
  • Suspicion : just show your team you mistrust everything they do for the job.
  • Procrastination is great. Just hope the problems will be fixed by magic. Answer it’s “not the moment to talk about it”.
  • Invent useless rules. Watch people struggle.
  • Be unreliable. Say A to Bill and B to Bob. Decide randomly in the end.

 

Tool : 

A team is a clock, an engine. There are two types of managers. You can put a little oil here and there, from time to time, and let people work. They all know their job. Or you can add sand.

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Instagram : marisharasikoskinen

 

#Management : Why the HECK would you want to have an homogeneous team??

Management is funny to study. You’ll find shelves of books to read about that in every good bookstore. So it stays a mystery why we note so many stupid ideas in all hierarchies…

One of the great GREATEST Stupid Idea EVER is the will, from a manager, to have an homogeneous team.

All teachers in the world know that kids have different kinds of intelligence. Some are visual, others need words, etc. It’s the SAME for adults, silly!

You are a manager. You have a team. NOBODY is like the other one. Some are fast, but muddled, others are slow and precise. Some like to talk, others to think, some are one-task, others are multi. Some guys know how to sell, others are great organizers. Some are clumsy but clever, other are dexterous but dumb as dead maggots.

Let people be who they are! USE who they are. Encourage them! They’re good! The LAST thing you should ask people is to follow the same dumb goal. We’re all different, and if you ask people to be the same and get the same objective, you’re just a fool.

Nevertheless, it’s something you’ll see for more centuries. Managers’ stupidity is bottomless. C’est la life, dear. Just facepalm, there’s nothing much more to do here.

Thanks for reading!

 

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