- – Grandpa, why are you sad sitting here in the sun?
- – I’m not sad, kid, I’m melancholic.
- – You think about the past?
- – I think about loss, dear, yes.
- – Tonight I dreamt you were dancing with a woman, very slowly, in this same garden, surrounded by a few hummingbirds. It was beautiful!
- – You saw it? Awwwee… You know, I was not dancing, it was Qigong, my dear.
- – Who was the lady dancing with you, grandpa?
- – An old friend, kid, an old friend…
Between an man and a woman you can live many bonds : mother and son, father and daughter, siblings, lovers, spouses, friends, teachers, colleagues!
Today I would like to talk about another type of bond, a strong one, I would call it “superfriendship“. It’s like being strong close friends, but with more solemnity and commitment. Like a very important friendship.
I think it’s better, as it is between a man and a woman, when each other is married, or have a lover. Superfriends are “friends only” and shouldn’t mess with sex, I mean really – because they would be lovers, and that’s another story (maybe, yes, they can be exes).
Superfriends talk about their bond, about rules, frames, and commitment. They are aware that it is a different friendship, stronger than anything – and I would say : different than marriage, too, stronger than love maybe. Because you avoid the difficulties of love, of living together…
Whatever happens: dramas, arguments, difficulties, anything, a superfriend is here for you, and each other knows it. It’s so important that any disagreement will be fixed, as a rule, and they know it. Because it is very, very, very, very important. For her. For him.
For me, being superfriends is about conversations. It’s a personal view of course. Just invent your own friendship about sports or creativity! With a superfriend, you talk and use ideas, concepts, discussions and words as if they were a whole treasure for you both only. It’s a jubilation! Nobody can and will understand this bond.
You can invent everything, from “call me whenever you want” to straight happy schedules like “Let’s see each other once a month”. You don’t mess with sex, with boredom, with intimacy, with daily organization. You just weave your friendship with conversations, helping hand, coaching, truths, questions. You ask for truth. You say it. You disturb each other. You need each other!
Yes it’s an idea of “ideal”, because you can keep it very pure, very rare, very precious too.
I imagine superfriends without any contact, sending a paper “real” email once a week as a rule, or planning a “Whole Day Skype Session” once a month (dinner included) and nothing else, or keeping a “One Hour Walk” (under an umbrella, if it rains) or a restaurant twice a month. Or a 5 minutes phonecall once a day, why not?
They say it to their respective spouse, as something nobody could ever change, “I see my superfriend”. This IS important, and I don’t and won’t negociate!
Superfriends often say “I LOVE YOU”. It’s a different kind of love, that’s all!
I hope you have one. Really. And, thinking about grandpa at the beginning of this article, I hope you will never know this loss.
Thanks for reading!