The idea of texting (which is : “words, on phones, between two persons, in real time”) has some consequences.
Emojis help you to color/read sentences, but not all the time.
Beware of arguments in textings!
Texting contains a whole bag of possible problems.
It’s fast : you write and send, you don’t have the quiet comfort of emails, which you can polish for hours or days before sending.
You miss the context, the sound of voice, the eyes, the gestures.
Emojis are false friends. They indicate when it’s humor, for example, but they don’t say about the subtilities. Is the fun colored by sarcasm? Alcohol? Nonsense?
So, as a reader, you often guess well where’s your conversation partner – “He’s drunk, let’s take this in consideration”, or “it’s 3 AM there, I suppose she’s sleepy”. But sometimes, you don’t, you just DON’T!
Someone’s sad. Or had a drink. Or just learned really bad news (but can’t tell you). Etc.
You just have to guess. Build, in real time, your own dials.
The tools are easy to define :
- Don’t have long serious conversations in texting, it’s dangerous.
- If you can’t avoid it, be both aware. Meta-communicate around it.
- If you have to, or if you have to argue, call. Voice.
- Don’t forget you don’t have the gesture and the eyes and expression of your friend.
- Therefore, don’t put the other’s speech in serious boxes. These boxes are probably inaccurate. Or invent them alive, moving, mutating, fragile.
- Listen to your intelligence and to your guts : If you feel that something is wide of the mark, pay closer attention.
- Never hesitate to ask details, a time to think, or an explanation.
- Ask for a change of media : email, voice, real meeting.
- Meta-Communicate again, if you’re hesitating, ask about the mood of your partner.
Etc. Have a nice day! Follow me!
a french toolbox 