“OK, that’s good, why?” and how we look into it.

What do you listen to in a song?

• Melodies, harmony, structure, voices, bass, guitars, keyboards, drums, originality, energy, lyrics, production?

What do you watch in a photography or a painting?

• Colors, details, meaning, characters, originality, lines, atmosphere, size, composition?

What do you watch in a book?

• Progression, story, characters, style, words, originality, phrases?

What do you watch in a movie?

• Scenario, editing, characters, frames, camera work, action, sense of place, composition, music?

And in architecture, poetry, marketing?

It’s not exactly how we “watch” something, but how we stop in front of something and try to understand where the pleasure comes from. A little bit more like:

“OK that’s good, why? – let’s look into it”.

My choices upstairs are bolded. Lyrics are probably important when I discover a track, BUT I always try to understand the structure, I listen to the bass player, and harmony progressions and changes. More than melodies, or the song’s energy.

In front of a painting that stops me, I want to know “what did the painter want?”. Same from photography, or movies. I dig into (or try to imagine) how the artist dealt with the audience.

So, well, it’s a matter of empathy, or structures/skeletons, of what’s hidden. Nobody listens to the bass, nor really cares about a photo’s composition. It’s all about the singer or the lead guitar, it’s all about colors and “events”.

What I choose to look into tells a lot.

Therefore I think that it is a good exercise when we meet someone, to watch and listen and ask: “What do you like in this? Why?”.

This “says” something about the person. If they are an empath or not, if they’re a thinker or not, fast or slow, surfacing or diving, heavy or light…

Thanks for reading!

What if we were many (inside)?

The idea of us having two faces or two sides is pretty common (and fascinating). A part of shadow, or a “the contrary of me, inside me”, anything schizophrenic…

So maybe we really have “another me” inside us. Most of the time, the idea says that the other one is very different. A quiet person has a tyrant inside. A mean human has a shy kid hidden in their head. Etc.

Sometimes it’s funny to extend and combine. For example, take the couple Lennon/McCartney, the tortured intellectual/happy fellow genius songwriting couple of the Beatles. When you read a little more about them, you see… the contrary.

Well, OK. Then you pull the string and ask some questions :

• When does the other one come out?
• How? Who triggers it? Why?
• What is needed? Music? Events? Alcohol?
• What if we all fall in love with the one who can see inside us? Who says “Hello you’re interesting” to everybody else they find inside?

 

Because yes : What if we were many (inside)? What kind of dance is it? It’s a metaphor, OR COURSE, but what does it show?

What if someone inside, hidden and protected (of course, protected!), one day takes the lead?

What if someone inside is suddenly missing, dead or sick or weakening?

What about three? Four? What if it was an accurate way to talk about us? Therefore what?

 

Thanks for reading!

 

Both Sides NOW

The “Part of Shadow” according to C.G. Jung : an investigation

The “he must have the feeling HE had the idea” Type

He must have the feeling HE had the idea…

We all met this Type, right? It can be in couple, family, or at work.

So if you have a good idea, tell it to him and wait. If he stays silent, it’s perfect. The idea, like a seed, will go deep in his brain, then one day will come back at the surface, like “Heyy what if we do this?”. His idea. Bingo!

There is a diminished or a cousin syndrome of this Type. If you ask a direct question, a proposition, he won’t answer, or he will answer no. “Let’s go the beach”, or “Let’s have a walk” : NO.

The solution is to ask your question, then shut up and do something else in your corner. Maybe eventually he will come back to you and say “What did you want to do? A walk? Let’s go!”.

What do these Types need in front of them?

1. If you have normal communication skills, you’re done, you’ll become an annoying enemy who pressure him.
2. If you understood what’s happening you just follow these little recipes : he must have the feeling to decide everything, he must have the feeling he had the idea.
3. The best Type you can be in front of this Type is to have no idea, no proposition : just follow and everything will be fine. It’s perfect : just say yes, all the time.

 

Need a label? Narcissistic personality? Control freak? Who knows…

It triggers some questions about 1/2/3, too :

1. How does he fight back, against direct proposition or idea? Why, in fact? Does it come from childhood? Why a equal-equal conversation would lead to argument?
2. What’s happening when he understands that he’s been manipulated all along (like when a kid doesn’t want to do something and you say “You won’t dare”)? How to get out of this trap?
3. There’s a tension growing inside him in front of an obedient partner. Because like everyone of us we like and we probably NEED to be confronted with real propositions. The absence of that can make him spinning around, in need of an impulse…

 

Sorry for my bad English. Have a nice day!

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